General discernment question(s)

[Laurentina1975]

OK.

I've been hanging out in phatmass for a while now. I guess long enough to share some of my story. I am 30 years old and have been discerning the call to religious life since high school. While in high school God planted a little seed in me that needed some time to grow. As I look back now, I see that I needed to mature (this is me, may not be everyone). I come from loving, but broken family (my parents are divorced). After college, I started working for the police department as a community service officer. It required a lot of testing (physical agility, psychological, lie detector, written test and several interviews), kinda like applying to the religious life. During this time I met a wonderful guy and became engaged. After 5 years of dating this gentleman, I realized it wouldn't be what made me happy (to marry him), my faith was strong, but there was still something missing. So I broke off my enagement and started discerning the religious life again.

I' ve visited a few Franciscans (I like their spirituality) and a community that wasn't Franciscan. The community I visited that wasn't Franciscan was a beautiful community, which I was really feel good about, except for the first time in my discernment, I heard "you may be too old".

So I was wondering if anyone went through this? It's been an awakening. I visited my high school sisters yesterday and their Provincial and I are pretty close and she said "Lauren, you need to lay your cards down sometime". So maybe this is God telling me to get on the ball.

Right now I work in a nursing home, I am an Admissions and Marketing Director and I do not know if I want to stay in that type of work. I can see myself doing other things of course, but I do enjoy working with the elderly. So when I visited this other community that wasn't Franciscan, they suggested I visit the Little Sisters of the Poor. Which I did meet at the Catholic Festival of Faith, btw.

I guess I miss the Franciscan spirituality in some ways and still feel drawn to that. But my problem is, I am not interested in a "liberal" group. I am looking for a middle of the road group that is apostolic and active with some apostolates with the elderly. A group that wears the habit, even if it is a modified habit, or a simple veil. A community that has a deep love and respect for our Holy Father, maybe an international group, a growing group with at least some new vocations, somewhere where I am not the youngest member (because I can see myself struggling to need to be around my peers) and a group that is healthy and strong.

So, I just don't know anymore. I feel like I am looking to much, getting overwhelmed...I've already taken a break for a couple months, now I am feeling like my days are numbered.

Sometimes I struggle so hard with this...sometimes it feels like the best thing for me. I trust in God, have faith in Him and know He loves me. But I feel like I am not looking in the right places and I am just totally lost.

I'm just frustrated.

What should I do? (Besides focus on my guitar lessons).

Edited February 20, 2006 by Laurentina1975

[Birgitta Noel]

Hello

I have to be brief this am and don't know that I can be that helpful, but I wanted to suggest that you look into the Sisters of St. Francis in Peoria IL. They are a lot like what you described and their primary apostolate work is running OSF Health Care. They have 7 hospitals, numerous nursing homes, etc.

[url="http://www.osfhealthcare.org/mission_services/come1.html"]Vocation Page OSF[/url] Their site isn't the most impressive, but they are amazing women. I had the honor of getting to know two of them when I worked in the corporate office this past summer. They are faithful to the Church!

Let me know if I can be of further help.

[magnificat]

Hi! Thanks for sharing your story with us!

I can't exactly realy give you advice with beign a little older. However, there are a couple Fransiscan communitites that you might be interested in that do work with the elderly (which you may or may not know about...I don't know ).

First, there are the Fransiscan Sisters of Christian Charity whose provincial house is in WI. They have a wide variety of apostolates including health care & running nursing home-type facilities. The sister that I know wears a typical black and white habit but I think their habit depends on their apostolate? Their website is here: [url="http://www.fscc-calledtobe.org"]FSCC[/url]
I don't know much else off the top of my head, but I can definately get you more info if you want because one of the sisters is in law school with me!

The other that I thought of are the Fransiscan Sisters of the Martyr St. George. Again, they do hospital work (amongst other things) and, if memory serves me correctly, they do some work with the elderly. Their website is here: [url="http://www.altonfranciscans.org/index.htm"]FSGM[/url] Again, I know many of the sisters there and their vd is sooo nice!

Hope that helps!

[jgirl]

I was going to say either the Sisters in Alton or the ones in Peoria. They seem to be pretty close to what you want to do, and they have the added bonus of being where you could conveniently visit them. I don't know anything about the Sisters in Wisconsin, but they wouldn't be a bad drive from Chicago (well, maybe during winter, but that's almost over)

[Laurentina1975]

[quote name='jgirl' date='Feb 20 2006, 11:26 AM']I was going to say either the Sisters in Alton or the ones in Peoria. They seem to be pretty close to what you want to do, and they have the added bonus of being where you could conveniently visit them. I don't know anything about the Sisters in Wisconsin, but they wouldn't be a bad drive from Chicago (well, maybe during winter, but that's almost over)
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Yeah...oh wait...let me get my cane, I am undsteady....ok that's better.

Um thanks! Happy Monday

[HisChild]

I have been told that I am too old, and I am 5 yrs older than you. It is what it is. As I once said, some feel that the older you get the more 'set in your ways' you are. . and that it would be more difficult for you to adjust. To me, I felt like saying (which is totally uncharitable) and you wouldn't want to take on a sister who may be a little more 'work'? I know a few younger women who are interested in Rel life, who are too immature and would also have a hard time adjusting, if not more difficult than myself. But then, after stepping back, I realized that the orders who feel that way? Our Lord knows all these things. And, while knowing these things, He will then guide you to a community who is either willing to make exceptions, or those who do not find you are too old. . .those orders that would embrace you and accept your vocation.

If you feel those sisters you've known for so long are NOT liberal, well then perhaps our Lord has had them in your life, for half of your life, for a reason. I would take a closer look

God bless you.

[TheresaMF]

Thank you for sharing your story, Laurentina. I'm glad the girls above knew some Franciscan communities to recommend--I only know things Dominican! But I have spent a little time with the Little Sisters of the Poor, and they seem to fit what you described except for the Franciscan part. Founded in France in the 1800s by Bl. Jeanne Jugan, they are now an international order with homes for the aged poor all over the globe. They have young sisters as well as older sisters, so you wouldn't be the only young one there. Although they modified the habit from the dress worn by their foundress, it is still very much a habit, and their veil covers all their hair. Bl. Jeanne Jugan herself didn't know what God was calling her to do until later on in her life. "He is keeping me for a work yet unfounded," she said before (or something like that). Finally, the Little Sisters of the Poor have a definate charism of "littleness" and hospitality, both very attractive, and a devotion to Our Eucharistic Lord.

So you could visit them, either going on a retreat, getting in touch with the vocations director, or just visiting one of their homes.

I'll keep you in my prayers. God bless and Our Lady keep you!

-TMF

[be_thou_my_vision]

I know the Little Sisters and they are a wonderful group. I also would like to mention the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration in Mishawaka (South Bend area) Indiana. These sisters are amazing and they have some hospitals, but they also care for all of their elderly sisters, and they are a joy... they are all so cute! Check them out... www.ssfpa.org. Their website isn't really up to date. Right now they have 4 novices and 2 postulants and lots of vowed sisters. They are the "rapping nuns" that everyone has been talking about!

[OLAM Dad]

[quote name='Laurentina1975' date='Feb 20 2006, 10:41 AM']What should I do?  (Besides focus on my guitar lessons).
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Well...I could lie and make something up that sounds comforting and helpful. Or, I could be honest and just tell you that you need to change your avatar. :

Seriously, thanks for sharing your story with us. I didn't realize you were so old!

[Laurentina1975]

[quote name='OLAM Dad' date='Feb 20 2006, 07:45 PM']Well...I could lie and make something up that sounds comforting and helpful.  Or, I could be honest and just tell you that you need to change your avatar.  :

Seriously, thanks for sharing your story with us.  I didn't realize you were so old!
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Change my avatar? But why....oh wait hold on...I need to take some arthritis pills....ok that's better. Where were we? Oh yeah, my avatar...

Why? I feel it reflects me as a person, funny and joyful.

Well, I need to have some tea...so I am going to have to call my nurse to help me here, the osteoporosis is really starting to kick in...
:

[Sixtina87]

[quote name='Birgitta Noel' date='Feb 20 2006, 11:14 AM']Hello 

I have to be brief this am and don't know that I can be that helpful, but I wanted to suggest that you look into the Sisters of St. Francis in Peoria IL.  They are a lot like what you described and their primary apostolate work is running OSF Health Care.  They have 7 hospitals, numerous nursing homes, etc. 

[url="http://www.osfhealthcare.org/mission_services/come1.html"]Vocation Page OSF[/url]  Their site isn't the most impressive, but they are amazing women.  I had the honor of getting to know two of them when I worked in the corporate office this past summer.  They are faithful to the Church!

Let me know if I can be of further help.
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hey the Sisters are in East peoria!!! I love the Sisters dearly....i visit them all the time!!! i am going to be staying with them in the novicate for the Lenten retreat. Sr. Dorothy asked me to come back down and stay the night....how awesome is that!!! they have a pool, basketball court, ceramics room, and lets not forget the awesome grounds they are on.....its really beautiful during the summer!!! The SIster let me run a muk there!!! instead having a sister by my side all the time when i am there, they let me go where ever....since i am fimiliar with the convent and sr d. is slow since the stroke.....they let me walk right in!!! They always love to have people visit and always welcome in their home people the love and know. lauren...i can actually see you with these Sisters. What are you doing March 25th-26th??? Do you want to go with me to the Lenten retreat and stay the night??/ just wondering!!! Like birgitta siad, the Sisters are awesome and eay to talk to....heck you can even mess around with them and have a good time!!!!

Sr. faustina their first yr Jr sister.....played a game of war when i last stayed the night...well she won and i told her if she wins iw ould wake her up early.....she told me if i won i had to tell my parents that iwas entering....haha...she won....so i went to her cell, woke her up...we went into the recreation room across from the rooms and laughed and talked in our pjs!!!! it was so funny because the SIsters were starting to get up and come out to go to the chapel.....they heard us tlaking and laughing and came to see us fully awake still in out pjs!!!! oh the good times...need less to say all the Sisters knew about it by the end of the day!!!! LOL!!! i call it a home away from home when i visit there.....but i dont know if i belong there.

so lauren...chekc em out!!!!! you'll love them and not be disappointed. trust me!!!

[srmarymichael]

[quote name='Laurentina1975' date='Feb 20 2006, 09:28 PM']Change my avatar?  But why....oh wait hold on...I need to take some arthritis pills....ok that's better.  Where were we?  Oh yeah, my avatar...

Why?  I feel it reflects me as a person, funny and joyful. 

Well, I need to have some tea...so I am going to have to call my nurse to help me here, the osteoporosis is really starting to kick in...
:
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Hey, if you ask me, it's not so much the age, it's the grace of God! I know a novice that is 60 years old (she actually spent a few years in another Community). She is also a convert in recent years. Anyway, she has the grace of a vocation!!! She is totally able to adjust to the life.

Don't get me wrong, age does have something to do with all of this, but it's not the end all. If God calls, God gives the grace.

By the way, I know of a Franciscan Community that sounds like the one you described..... ! ! ! ! !

[OLAM Dad]

For the record, I wasn't at all implying that Lauren's incredibly advanced age has anything to do with her ability to be the great sister that she most certainly will be. I simply thought she was younger. You would have thought that the 1975 part of her screen name would have clued me in but I guess I'm clueless.

[stlmom]

Lauren,
I think you've gotten some pretty great suggestions for communities to investigate, especially if you want to stay in the midwest. I'll bet any one of them would welcome you with open arms.

.....and you are not old.....

[Laurentina1975]

[quote name='srmarymichael' date='Feb 21 2006, 08:56 AM']Hey, if you ask me, it's not so much the age, it's the grace of God!  I know a novice that is 60 years old (she actually spent a few years in another Community).  She is also a convert in recent years.  Anyway, she has the grace of a vocation!!!  She is totally able to adjust to the life.

Don't get me wrong, age does have something to do with all of this, but it's not the end all.  If God calls, God gives the grace. 

By the way, I know of a Franciscan Community that sounds like the one you described.....  ! ! ! ! !
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*Quaintly grabbing my cane for some support*
Ahem...yes, thank you. (I will now be constantly making a joke out of my age in this thread, just for fun...)

What community is that Sister? I guess I will have to come to St. Charles just to say hello and give you a big ole hug!
I will have to bring my nurse-lady, as my arthritis is much worse...

*Reclining in my wheelchair*

In JMJ,
Lauren