Telling the Parents...

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Feb 17 2006, 08:18 PM']

I'm so sorry to hear that.  My parents weren't all that happy, especially my mother and brothers.  But after I actually chose a community and showed them how wonderful the community is?  My mom is now helping sew my postulant's uniforms.  It' s more about their having to get used to it.  Most parents, sad to say, aren't active supporters at first.  But when they see you'll be happy.  That's all that matters, you know?
Of course, I will keep you in my prayers. . ..that you will be able to persevere in your vocation.  God bless you and keep you. Mary protect and guide you.

Yours in Christ,

Denise
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We parents forget that our children are not extensions of ourselves, and have to re-learn this EVERY time our kids surprise us doing something new and unexpected. Forgive us and give us time. Parenthood is a lifelong learning experience that doesn't get any easier no matter how old your kids are. Time and love can win out in the end.

[Mary-Kathryn]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Feb 15 2006, 10:42 PM']Hi y'all,

Just wanted to ask for your prayers this weekend.  My parents are coming in to town to visit and I'm planning on telling them that God's calling me to be a sister.  They have no idea that I've been discerning at all, so I'm sure it'll be quite a shock to them.
Lord, grant me the strength and courage to share the work You have been doing in my life with my parents.  Grant me the wisdom to speak Your words to them, that their hearts may be open and that they may have the grace to appreciate my vocation.  Amen.
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I know that both of your parents are practicing Catholics, so this isn't exactly the same situation. However, I thought this nun's words would give you comfort in knowing that someone else had a similar struggle with family.
[url="http://www.olamshrine.com/olam/nuns_benedicta.htm"]http://www.olamshrine.com/olam/nuns_benedicta.htm[/url]

Perhaps the good Sister, would even encourage you if you could correspond with her?

Prayers,
Mary-Kathryn

[HisChild]

Oh, I've read that story often as well, and it gives me encouragement that it will bring my parents and brothers back to the Faith. Perhaps that will happen with you as well? Your vocation will continue to be a grace for your family, if you persevere in it? Our lives, especially if we have problems in the beginning of our discernemnt and vocation (with families etc.) are like little sacrifices to our Lord. At least that's how my spiritual director showed me to look at it. hope that helps.

[BurkeFan]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Feb 18 2006, 07:55 AM']I definately know Jessie!  We run into each other at daily Mass, but usually I have to run off and go be studious soon after.  And I'm not going up with Kathleen this weekend .  So if you see either of them, tell them to drop me an email (Kathleen has it).
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Awesome, both are coming over to my place tonight to watch "A Man for All Seasons." You're more than welcome to come if you'd like!
I will definitely tell them to drop you an e-mail.

[Birgitta Noel]

Oh Magnificat, I'm so sorry to hear that. (I just saw this thread this am) You will be in my prayers. I cannot imagine how you feel right now.

On a side note, I had no idea how many of us there were from STL on here!

[magnificat]

[quote name='Mary-Kathryn' date='Feb 18 2006, 10:53 AM'][url="http://www.olamshrine.com/olam/nuns_benedicta.htm"]http://www.olamshrine.com/olam/nuns_benedicta.htm[/url]

Perhaps the good Sister, would even encourage you if you could correspond with her?

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Mary-Kathryn,

Thanks so much for sharing that! It nails my situation (almost)to a T. I'm actually in law school right now too. Do you know how I can get in contact with the sisters?

[magnificat]

[quote name='BurkeFan' date='Feb 18 2006, 12:20 PM']Awesome, both are coming over to my place tonight to watch "A Man for All Seasons." You're more than welcome to come if you'd like!
I will definitely tell them to drop you an e-mail.
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I don't think that'll be a good plan since my parents are still visiting. Have a good time though!

[Mary-Kathryn]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Feb 18 2006, 01:43 PM']Mary-Kathryn,

Thanks so much for sharing that!  It nails my situation (almost)to a T.  I'm actually in law school right now too.  Do you know how I can get in contact with the sisters?
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I am not sure if you know OLAM DAD who posts here. I think he may have even posted in this thread.

His daughter is a postulant at Our Lady of Angels Monastery in Hanceville. If anyone knows about addresses, all the correspondance rules,etc... I am sure it would be him!

Why don't you privately mail him and see if he can get you going in the right direction with the mail?

I'll be praying for you!
Mary-Kathryn

[HisChild]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Feb 18 2006, 11:43 AM']Mary-Kathryn,

Thanks so much for sharing that!  It nails my situation (almost)to a T.  I'm actually in law school right now too.  Do you know how I can get in contact with the sisters?
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I saw what Mary Kathryn wrote and I have to also put in my $.02. Mother Delores Marie at the PCPA monastery in Ohio said that she not only saw that 'phenomena' while she lived with Mother Angelica but then also since she's re-established the monastery in Ohio, that once parents see how much you are enjoying your time there, how much you fit in and are meant to be where you are, they will 'come around'. They will understand God's calling a little more, and feel His grace.

You can always talk to her as well. See www.stjosephmonastery.com for contact information (there's also a video on there of the sisters!)

God bless you.

Denise

[magnificat]

Thank you everyone for your prayers and comforting words.

I know that it will definately take my parents a while to get acclimated to the idea...I guess it's a good thing that God's calling me to finish school (which is another 2 years!). :/

I am even more convinced now that this really is God's call for me because of the peace I have on my heart, despite the sadness I feel for my parents. However, I'm also a little scared because I know that they will continue to tempt me away from my vocation for the next 2 years. As awful as this is, I can't help thinking of the Gospel passage where Christ says to Peter, "Get behind me Satan."

[HisChild]

That's not awful. That's normal. I continue to have fleeting moments where I wonder if I am doing the right thing. Especially this weekend as things were made sooo real for me! I had the closest thing I'd ever call to a panic attack, except I knew the subject of my feelings. Just realize that either due to ignorance, or differences in beliefs, or just wanting something more from their child/family member/friend, people will tell you what they think you should hear. As my spiritual director told me: don't go and tell a lot of people at work, etc. what you are doing until the last moment. People have their own ideas of what is 'right' and you only have one spiritual director. Listening to people will do nothing but confuse. (and then his favorite saying): Get ready and stay steady. (Pray for him, he's with his Order in Rome for a bit. No one knows for how long, a few weeks, months or back before Easter.)

God bless you.

Denise

[magnificat]

So I'm reviving this thread because I'm getting absolutely frustrated with my parents who clearly did a great job of leading me to believe in something they are so clueless on themselves. Case in point, my dad emails me saying basically that Christ never intended for people to give up their families etc. to pursue the religious life. So, obviously, I point out the passage in Matthew which directly says that
[quote]And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more, and will inherit eternal life. [/quote]
And he replies that those were different times and that we need to interpret it in a modern context where technology allows us not to have to do that and because the church interprets stuff as it was 2000 years ago, that's why we see the problems in the church today. Hello?!?! Are we even talking about the same church and the same faith here??? Clearly not.

Somebody help!!! I'm going to go insane! What exactly am I suppose to say to that when apparently my parents don't even have the same core beliefs?!?!

[HisChild]

I can definitely relate. My parents no longer go to Holy Mass. They think I am doing something silly, although they are outwardly more supportive now, I don't believe they believe in what I am doing.

In the end, what I had to do was 'give them up' into our Lord's hands and pray that they become open to His grace as time goes on. You still have to do what you believe our Lord is calling you to, because in the end, if you don't later on, you may wind up regretting not giving Him your 'yes' if that is His will for you. (I'm not saying that you will abandon your vocation, but there are others reading this now, and later, and this might resonate with them as well)

What should you say? Pray for guidance, first, but in the end, share with them that these are your beliefs, and that you feel called to be set aside for Him alone. They will not be losing you, but instead, will gain a whole slew of spiritual daughters. And that, you are called to be a Bride of Christ. . .how can you say no to the Living God, who has so few friends!? Our parents should be honored, instead of being upset.

I'm gathering that your father is talking about the priestly scandals, insofar as the 'problems in the Church' goes. I would reiterate that pedophilia is a mental illness and not an alternative to marriage. Those men, were we to somehow allow married priests, would still have deviant thoughts and/or behaviors. Marriage isn't a cure for deviancy, which is a point that so many people don't get. Gee, if we allow these men to marry, they'll stop picking on little boys.' ~snorts~ Gimme a break!

Here is a quote (or two) of one of my favorite saints, Teresa of Jesus of the Andes:
"The hearts of human beings love one day and the next day are indifferent. God alone never changes."

And here's something that pertains to us:
"How many parents there are who only look to their own interest and strive to avoid the pain of separation by sacrificing the happiness of their daughters by keeping them by their side!"

Prayers for you, May our Lord bless you abundantly.

Denise

[Piccoli Fiori JMJ]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Mar 13 2006, 01:04 PM']So I'm reviving this thread because I'm getting absolutely frustrated with my parents who clearly did a great job of leading me to believe in something they are so clueless on themselves.  Case in point, my dad emails me saying basically that Christ never intended for people to give up their families etc. to pursue the religious life.  So, obviously, I point out the passage in Matthew which directly says that

And he replies that those were different times and that we need to interpret it in a modern context where technology allows us not to have to do that and because the church interprets stuff as it was 2000 years ago, that's why we see the problems in the church today.  Hello?!?!  Are we even talking about the same church and the same faith here???  Clearly not.

Somebody help!!!  I'm going to go insane!  What exactly am I suppose to say to that when apparently my parents don't even have the same core beliefs?!?!   
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Ask if he believes in the power of prayer... That is a huge part of the religious life... if they don't see the power behind prayer, it will be very hard...

[magnificat]

Thanks guys...I love those quotes from St. Teresa!

I'm not holding out much hope on ever convincing them...in a way, I'm almost scared to ask them if they do believe in prayer, etc. partly because I don't think I want to know the answer and part of it is that I'm afraid that it'll push them even further away from the church.

It's so weird...as if I suddenly was startled awake and am wondering who these people are that I thought I knew...