Telling the Parents...

[uruviel]

[quote name='OLAM Dad' date='Feb 16 2006, 08:51 PM']Lori, you're never allowed to take the approach that I suggested.

First of all I know your parents and if they ever found out that it was my idea they would kill me.  Second, I know your parents and they are going to be thrilled when/if you decide to enter religious life.  You don't have to worry about how they'll react, do you?  You're very lucky in that regard.  How is John doing?
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lol that's true. Oh yes I am so blessed, my parents support my decernemnt and they are encourging it very much. No, I don't have to worry about how they react, because I've talked about it since I was 9 anyways, so they've known for a very long time, and they would be so overthrilled if I did enter a religous life, though they make it a point that they're not pressuring me. (overthrilled.... is it a word!?)

My dad just talked to John on Sunday, he is very very happy at the fathers of Mercy. I think he really likes it there. However, we can only call him once a month, and he only twice a month. So, we've decided to talk on Sundays, 3 sundays out of the month. He's got a good schedule but he doesn't have any duties yet. He will get his duties when he becomes a novice, which is in August when he goes back up, from after he comes down here for July! whew. We're having our last family vacation all together, in July, with Marie and John, so it will be very nice to have the family all together one last time, (except for Chris, who's in Australia) but at the same time be sad. Anyways, that vacation we're going up to Kentucky to be there at his, novice becoming
So, now I have gotten very off subject, but he is doing great. The other novices are teaching him how to be a postulant. It's very lonely here at the house but we are very happy for him. Ok.
God Bless,
~Lori
i'm sure you weren't looking for a long story but now you know how it's going.

[magnificat]

So I did it and told my parents after we got home from dinner. Unfortunately their reaction was pretty much what I'd expected, but it's not too helpful.
They both don't want me to do it, mainly because it kinda kills their dreams of the future...having grandkids, living near me, and having me help take care of them when they get older, that sorta thing. My mom just kept saying she was disappointed. My dad just wants me to put off making a decision and think about it some more and he was like, well I'll always love you but I don't know if I'll ever be able accept it.
I'm not too upset, because I was mentally preparing myself for that anyways. Mainly, I'm just sad that they can't understand why it is that this is something that I have to do and they can't see God's divine plan.

[HisChild]

I'm so sorry to hear that. My parents weren't all that happy, especially my mother and brothers. But after I actually chose a community and showed them how wonderful the community is? My mom is now helping sew my postulant's uniforms. It' s more about their having to get used to it. Most parents, sad to say, aren't active supporters at first. But when they see you'll be happy. That's all that matters, you know?
Of course, I will keep you in my prayers. . ..that you will be able to persevere in your vocation. God bless you and keep you. Mary protect and guide you.

Yours in Christ,

Denise

[magnificat]

Thanks for your words Denise.

I know it'll take them a while to get used to. It's just hard feeling like I've let them down.

[HisChild]

One thing a co worker told me is that we'll never know this since we're not parents but that, generally, parents tend to dream dreams about how their child will be in their lives, what that will entail, etc. so, when someone tells them that won't happen, of course they'll be disappointed.

But you have NOT let them down. And if for some reason, I am wrong? Place yourself in the arms of your Jesus. He will comfort you and give you the grace needed to persevere in your vocation.

God bless you

[OLAM Dad]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Feb 17 2006, 08:13 PM']So I did it and told my parents after we got home from dinner.  Unfortunately their reaction was pretty much what I'd expected, but it's not too helpful. 
They both don't want me to do it, mainly because it kinda kills their dreams of the future...having grandkids, living near me, and having me help take care of them when they get older, that sorta thing.  My mom just kept saying she was disappointed.  My dad just wants me to put off making a decision and think about it some more and he was like, well I'll always love you but I don't know if I'll ever be able accept it. 
I'm not too upset, because I was mentally preparing myself for that anyways.  Mainly, I'm just sad that they can't understand why it is that this is something that I have to do and they can't see God's divine plan. 


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I'm so very sorry. Your mom is 'disappointed'? I just don't get that. I'll pray for them. I'm guessing that since they want you to give them grandkids that my pregnancy tactic wouldn't have been successful anyway.

God Bless you.

[shortnun]

You've got my prayers.... perhaps there will be time over spring break (when we're supposed to be locked in the library studying) to catch up on things and really get to share and pray together!!

[BurkeFan]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Feb 17 2006, 07:13 PM']So I did it and told my parents after we got home from dinner.  Unfortunately their reaction was pretty much what I'd expected, but it's not too helpful. 
They both don't want me to do it, mainly because it kinda kills their dreams of the future...having grandkids, living near me, and having me help take care of them when they get older, that sorta thing.  My mom just kept saying she was disappointed.  My dad just wants me to put off making a decision and think about it some more and he was like, well I'll always love you but I don't know if I'll ever be able accept it. 
I'm not too upset, because I was mentally preparing myself for that anyways.  Mainly, I'm just sad that they can't understand why it is that this is something that I have to do and they can't see God's divine plan. 


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I don't know if you met Jessie or not during the Vocations Week, but she'd be good to commiserate with. Kathleen will surely tell you about her this coming weekend.

[jswranch]

Have you considered giving them a copy of St. Therese of Lisieux's "Story of a Soul." You could tell them, "I want to be like this."


A fear of mine: if atleast one of my kids don't grow up to take holy orders, I will have failed as a father.

[HisChild]

[quote name='jswranch' date='Feb 17 2006, 11:31 PM']Have you considered giving them a copy of St. Therese of Lisieux's "Story of a Soul."  You could tell them, "I want to be like this."
A fear of mine: if atleast one of my kids don't grow up to take holy orders, I will have failed as a father.
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That's beautiful! I pray that there are many fathers like you out there, encouraging religious life and the priesthood.

God bless you.

[jswranch]

[quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Feb 18 2006, 12:35 AM']That's beautiful!  I pray that there are many fathers like you out there, encouraging religious life and the priesthood.

God bless you.
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Thank you for the compliment.

I think he (Ven. Louis Martin of Lisieux, pictured on the left) is my patron even if he is not canonized at this time. Is that legal, I am a new catholic? After realizing my job as a dad and husband from Lumen Gentium, I stopped focusing on trying to be Mr. Saint-Superhero for God. It is my job to turn my little ones into Fr./Br./Mr. and Sr/Mrs Saint-Superhero for God.

[HisChild]

As you could see/read from reading about the Martins you can see that they too are holy and 'superheroes' even though married. God calls all of us to holiness, if we but listen and respond. I understand what you are saying, but all vocations are roads that lead to Him.

Did you see Therese the movie? He was depicted as such an amazing man in the movie as well.

God bless you.

[magnificat]

[quote name='BurkeFan' date='Feb 18 2006, 01:22 AM']I don't know if you met Jessie or not during the Vocations Week, but she'd be good to commiserate with. Kathleen will surely tell you about her this coming weekend.
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I definately know Jessie! We run into each other at daily Mass, but usually I have to run off and go be studious soon after. And I'm not going up with Kathleen this weekend . So if you see either of them, tell them to drop me an email (Kathleen has it).

[magnificat]

[quote name='jswranch' date='Feb 18 2006, 01:31 AM']Have you considered giving them a copy of St. Therese of Lisieux's "Story of a Soul."  You could tell them, "I want to be like this."
A fear of mine: if atleast one of my kids don't grow up to take holy orders, I will have failed as a father.
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I don't think they'd read it .
It's just very difficult because I know that telling them was the right thing because I do feel an odd sense of peace, yet there's no real way for me to convince them intellectually anyways. I suggested they speak to a priest friend who I've been talking to on and off at home, but they're convinced that all the priests are trying to do is to convince me that that's what I should do. But it's totally not like that (as I'm sure y'all know). It's more of an interior sadness, I guess.

Edited February 18, 2006 by magnificat

[stlmom]

One thing we parents have to remember is that our kids are not our clones and we can't burden them with our own unfulfilled wishes. Really we are given stewardship of our children, and have to answer to God for how we helped our children respond to their vocations whatever they may be.