Question from a Postulant

[Incarnate Word Postulant]

Hello Everybody, I haven’t posted much in here, so, you really don't know me...but I don't get as much time in the computer any more. Actually I am preparing for novitiate in July. I am so excited!

But I have many questions...I am SURE this is where I want to be, but then....all these things come to me and maybe they aren't really important. or at least hadn't been important to me until now. Heaven knows!

I feel a little embarrassed asking this question, but, since you all, or most of you anyway belong to either generation X or Y (I'm an Xer myself) and understand the importance of tradition. I want to ask:

Should I ask for the habit? I know that is only my decision, but, please help me out! I understand and love the idea of being a VISIBLE sign. But when I go out mostly everybody asks me if I'm a nun. The other part is that since our habit is white and red, there's no way I'll go unnoticed (it is VERY beautiful by the way.) Many times, when I'm out with the nuns and have my postulant jumper on, people treat me so differently ("Oh Sister, go to the front of the line") and things like that. I do not want that. But people have asked me to pray with them right there on the street. Or ask me to pray for somebody, so, I like that people feel and know that visible presence....But, I'm so.....divided.

The other question is: Should I get another name? I mean, it took me a very long time to get to like my name: Helga (the kids in school used to tease me because the name isn't very Mexican, you know, they used to call me helgato (((the cat)))....parents lived in Norway, long story.) I thought of using my full name Helga Lizbeth, so I would be Sr. Helga Lizbeth (helga means "holy or consecrated" and Lizbeth, from Elizabeth means "the one who loves God") but I also like the name Mary, so, I thought of Mary Helga, but then, I am afraid I am being too frivolous, thinking of those things when I should be preparing my heart and soul.....

Can anyone help this poor helgatito (((little cat)))???

[OLAM Dad]

gato pequeño,

I'm not a gen xer or a gen yer. I'm a baby boomer. My generation is responsible for making this question even possible.

On behalf of my generation, I'm sorry.

Of course you should wear a habit. You've done a beautiful job of explaining why yourself. I think it is absolutely essential that unless wearing the habit would endanger your life then you should wear one.

As far as a name is concerned, I think you should follow your heart on this issue. Nobody will know your name unless they ask, it is not nearly the external sign of your vocation that a habit is.

On a side note: Doesn't your order have [i]any[/i] rules at all? I'm glad that you're so happy with them but gosh they sure aren't giving you much guidance or direction, are they? What would they do if you decided that you wanted to wear a leotard cat outfit and change your name to El Gato?

Edited February 14, 2006 by OLAM Dad

[brendan1104]

[quote name='Incarnate Word Postulant' date='Feb 13 2006, 06:52 PM']Hello Everybody, I haven’t posted much in here, so, you really don't know me...but I don't get as much time in the computer any more. Actually I am preparing for novitiate in July. I am so excited!

But I have many questions...I am SURE this is where I want to be, but then....all these things come to me and maybe they aren't really important. or at least hadn't been important to me until now. Heaven knows!

I feel a little embarrassed asking this question, but, since you all, or most of you anyway belong to either generation X or Y (I'm an Xer myself) and understand the importance of tradition. I want to ask:

Should I ask for the habit? I know that is only my decision, but, please help me out! I understand and love the idea of being a VISIBLE sign. But when I go out mostly everybody asks me if I'm a nun. The other part is that since our habit is white and red, there's no way I'll go unnoticed (it is VERY beautiful by the way.) Many times, when I'm out with the nuns and have my postulant jumper on, people treat me so differently ("Oh Sister, go to the front of the line") and things like that. I do not want that. But people have asked me to pray with them right there on the street. Or ask me to pray for somebody, so,  I like that people feel and know that visible presence....But, I'm so.....divided.

The other question is: Should I get another name?  I mean, it took me a very long time to get to like my name: Helga (the kids in school used to tease me because the name isn't very Mexican, you know, they used to call me helgato (((the cat)))....parents lived in Norway, long story.) I thought of using my full name Helga Lizbeth, so I would be Sr. Helga Lizbeth (helga means "holy or consecrated" and Lizbeth, from Elizabeth means "the one who loves God") but I also like the name Mary, so, I thought of Mary Helga, but then, I am afraid I am being too frivolous, thinking of those things when I should be preparing my heart and soul.....

Can anyone help this poor helgatito (((little cat)))???

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I've seen your habit and it's beautiful! Be bold, be radical in your witness to Christ, your Spouse... definitely wear it!

[HisChild]

[quote name='Incarnate Word Postulant' date='Feb 13 2006, 03:52 PM']Hello Everybody, I haven’t posted much in here, so, you really don't know me...but I don't get as much time in the computer any more. Actually I am preparing for novitiate in July. I am so excited!

But I have many questions...I am SURE this is where I want to be, but then....all these things come to me and maybe they aren't really important. or at least hadn't been important to me until now. Heaven knows!

I feel a little embarrassed asking this question, but, since you all, or most of you anyway belong to either generation X or Y (I'm an Xer myself) and understand the importance of tradition. I want to ask:

Should I ask for the habit? I know that is only my decision, but, please help me out! I understand and love the idea of being a VISIBLE sign. But when I go out mostly everybody asks me if I'm a nun. The other part is that since our habit is white and red, there's no way I'll go unnoticed (it is VERY beautiful by the way.) Many times, when I'm out with the nuns and have my postulant jumper on, people treat me so differently ("Oh Sister, go to the front of the line") and things like that. I do not want that. But people have asked me to pray with them right there on the street. Or ask me to pray for somebody, so,  I like that people feel and know that visible presence....But, I'm so.....divided.

The other question is: Should I get another name?  I mean, it took me a very long time to get to like my name: Helga (the kids in school used to tease me because the name isn't very Mexican, you know, they used to call me helgato (((the cat)))....parents lived in Norway, long story.) I thought of using my full name Helga Lizbeth, so I would be Sr. Helga Lizbeth (helga means "holy or consecrated" and Lizbeth, from Elizabeth means "the one who loves God") but I also like the name Mary, so, I thought of Mary Helga, but then, I am afraid I am being too frivolous, thinking of those things when I should be preparing my heart and soul.....

Can anyone help this poor helgatito (((little cat)))???

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I only know that I would want to wear the habit very much. After Vatican II, many religious left. Times were so confusing because many religious communities didn't know how to interpret some of the wording. Many others abandoned many traditions, like the habit, throwing the baby out with the bath water, in essence. Yes, There were to be updates. But no where, in the documents were there any commands to abandon the habit. Actually the documents defend the habit. If you'd like, I will look for the specific document... I remember reading, while I was in rel. life before, that our Holy Father stated that the 'updates' for religious wasn't meant to abandon the habit. In fact, it was a defense of the habit. The Holy See has tried for years, to get sisters to return to wearing the religious habit, but many have continued to be disobedient.

There are many sisters nowadays, that I've met, when I was younger, that I didn't know, for years, that they were religious! I even had dinner at a sister's apt. She drove a nice car, had her own place, wore jewelry, permed hair, makeup and dressed better than I did! To me, when I saw that, during my earlier years of discernment, I thought, 'well what is she doing that I'm not?' Meaning why would someone be attracted to religious life, if they are living alone, no communal prayer, no habit. I mean, if she was drawn to the eremitic life, that would be different. But her community is not one of hermits.

We are to be a visible witness of Christ. Not only that but the wearing of a common garb has many blessings. You don't have to worry about what to wear, you don't have to worry about clothes to buy, you don't have to fix your hair. By wearing a habit, you are visibly expressing your vows of poverty, by not succumbing to the fashions of today, and your vow of chastity by covering your body which is meant for Christ alone. You are actually showing your vow of obedience to our Lord in the wearing of your habit, as well.

I know that some would say that you can't reach the people because they treat you differently (yes, even by the example you provided). So, you have options there. Either politely decline, or offer up to Jesus the priviledge of being ahead of others in line. It's really not that bad. When I was in postulant's garb, I was approached many times by people on the street, asking me if I was a sister, then asking me for advice, prayers, etc. You will be an instrument in Christ's hands, if you but let Him, in this way.

I hope I've helped. God bless you and I will pray for you fervently.

Denise

[HisChild]

[quote name='OLAM Dad' date='Feb 13 2006, 04:14 PM']gato pequeño,

I'm not a gen xer or a gen yer.  I'm a baby boomer.  My generation is responsible for making this question even possible.

On behalf of my generation, I'm sorry.

Of course you should wear a habit.  You've done a beautiful job of explaining why yourself.  I think it is absolutely essential that unless wearing the habit would endanger your life then you should wear one.

As far as a name is concerned, I think you should follow your heart on this issue.  Nobody will know your name unless they ask, it is not nearly the external sign of your vocation that a habit is.

On a side note:  Doesn't your order have [i]any[/i] rules at all?  I'm glad that you're so happy with them but gosh they sure aren't giving you much guidance or direction, are they?  What would they do if you decided that you wanted to wear a leotard cat outfit and change your name to El Gato?
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Oh my goodness! LOLOL I had a little girl ask me if she could become a nun, and if her habit had to be brown. When I asked her what she meant she asked if she could wear a leopard printed one!

[TeresaAvila]

I say definately wear the habit, it is a visible sign that YOU belong to christ, you are also stating that you are a witness to christ, it also states what order you belong to, and i feel truly does help in the spirit of poverty too. does your community give you the option of wearing the habit? As for your name, pray about it, ask the holy spirit to guide you and just go with what's in your heart!! I'm so happy for you and I pray our lord continues to guide you as you progress on this beautiful journey!

God Bless You!

[Incarnate Word Postulant]

[quote name='OLAM Dad' date='Feb 13 2006, 05:14 PM']gato pequeño,

I'm not a gen xer or a gen yer.  I'm a baby boomer.  My generation is responsible for making this question even possible.

On behalf of my generation, I'm sorry.

Of course you should wear a habit.  You've done a beautiful job of explaining why yourself.  I think it is absolutely essential that unless wearing the habit would endanger your life then you should wear one.

As far as a name is concerned, I think you should follow your heart on this issue.  Nobody will know your name unless they ask, it is not nearly the external sign of your vocation that a habit is.

On a side note:  Doesn't your order have [i]any[/i] rules at all?  I'm glad that you're so happy with them but gosh they sure aren't giving you much guidance or direction, are they?  What would they do if you decided that you wanted to wear a leotard cat outfit and change your name to El Gato?
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[TheresaMF]

Ave + Maria

Dear Helga,

Two thoughts about the habit. First, it is a holy sign of consecration to God which reminds both you and other people of Him. One Dominican priest I know arrived at the airport in his habit--and some guy came up to him and asked to go to confession! So because religious are consecrated to God, they are special and set apart from the world as a sign of the reality of GOd's Kingdom--and the world can tell. Some people rejoice; others get very uncomfortable being reminded of God!

Second, I really understand how this set-apartness has another side to it, because you feel uncomfortable when people honor you. As you said, "[i]Many times, when I'm out with the nuns and have my postulant jumper on, people treat me so differently ("Oh Sister, go to the front of the line") and things like that. I do not want that[/i]." Last night I went over to a homeschooling family's house for dinner. I have known the mom since her children came to the summer camp I ran in highschool. As soon as she found out I was planning to enter religious life, she invited me over, and oh, was I the guest of HONOR! They don't have much money, but all the best was out for me. The adults had wine, the children had sparkling grape-juice ("kids' wine") in really special glasses. I had the foot of the table, opposite the father of the family. I felt the same way--it's wrong to honor *me* in that way! If God has called me, it is really despite all my many failings, not because I am so wonderful.

I realize, though, that responding to God's call, even before I receive any type of distinctive dress, is an important sign to the world. This family rejoiced to honor me, and it was [i]important [/i]for them to honor me, because they were not so much honoring me as the divine vocation I represented to them. Think of the occasion of grace and spiritual growth it could be for people to honor those specially consecrated to God!

A religious sister joined the women's Bible Study my mom attends for a few meetings. At first Mom didn't know she was a Sister--she wore ordinary clothes, with a cross, and introduced herself as "Jean" or whatever. Later when it came out that she was a religious, she seemed embarrased about it, and didn't want them to think about that. That seemed really strange to us, although I can sort of understand that reaction--"I'm Jean, don't put me on a pedestal." But I think God put you on a pedestal when He called you to religious life, because religious represent the Church.

I think that perhaps it can be a challenge to keep the honor people give to consecrated religious from going to your head, but at the same time it is profoundly humbling to receive that for Christ when you know you are SO UNWORTHY. When my old highschool religious teacher found out I was applying to the monastery, he said he had been praying for me every night by name (for the past 4-5 years!) for that very intention. Oh. My. Goodness. I SO do not deserve that. But it is [i]from [/i]God, and [i]for [/i]God--so what can I say?

So, [b]the point: [/b] As an exterior sign that you are specially consecrated to God, the habit reminds you and others of that consecration, and gives others an opportunity to approach you for advice about spiritual things, and also to outwardly honor the things of God (you). The habit is very important to me--my Sisters say it is [url="http://www.stjudemonastery.org/live/100_0521.jpg"]their wedding dress[/url], which they wear every day! The humility to empty yourself and be Christ's.

(Sorry for being so wordy. Hope that helps.)

[jezic]

as you can tell, people here like habits.

Personally, I think they rock.

[Incarnate Word Postulant]

[quote name='OLAM Dad' date='Feb 13 2006, 05:14 PM']gato pequeño,

I'm not a gen xer or a gen yer.  I'm a baby boomer.  My generation is responsible for making this question even possible.

On behalf of my generation, I'm sorry.

Of course you should wear a habit.  You've done a beautiful job of explaining why yourself.  I think it is absolutely essential that unless wearing the habit would endanger your life then you should wear one.

As far as a name is concerned, I think you should follow your heart on this issue.  Nobody will know your name unless they ask, it is not nearly the external sign of your vocation that a habit is.

On a side note:  Doesn't your order have [i]any[/i] rules at all?  I'm glad that you're so happy with them but gosh they sure aren't giving you much guidance or direction, are they?  What would they do if you decided that you wanted to wear a leotard cat outfit and change your name to El Gato?
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Hi Dad!

Thanks! I almost rolled on the floor laughing. Yes, my community has rules, but we have the option of wearing the habit. This is more of an inner struggle. Our documents reccomend wearing the habit, the modified habit, or simple clothes that give a witness to the lifestyle chosen....Soooooo.....I'm still praying...

I've heard so much that Xers are very attracted to religious life because of its structure, but, I'm not so sure...I want to make the choice because it is what God is calling me to. Now, because of my ministry (I teach inner city kids, first grade) and this year I work in public school, so, that makes it difficult, but my dress is very simple (white bluse, red skirt, or red jumper) Pretty obvious anyway

So, extra prayers for me as I discern.

Note: Sister Maria Elizabeth my director just came in here and we had a good talk. It's still up to me to pray and discern. So, please help me pray

[karin]

I will pray for your descision of course but I really think you should go for the habit tee hee habits are super awesome. i cant wait until i have one of me own. God bless and Mary Keep
Karin

[shortnun]

So many prayers for you in this time of discernment, Helga!!!

[OLAM Dad]

Helga,

Of course I'll pray for you.

I have an analogy that might help you through your uncomfort regarding the special treatment you receive in a habit.

I spent 10 years in the military as an officer. We had an outward sign of our profession, a uniform. As an officer you get saluted a lot and you get special treatment just as you described. HOWEVER, we were always reminding ourselves so as not to get too big of a head (and reminding others who were getting big heads) that when somebody is saluting you they are actually saluting your rank, not your person.

When somebody is especially kind to you because you are wearing a habit, unless they know you personally, they are respecting your vocation, and not necessarily you.

Edited February 14, 2006 by OLAM Dad

[HisChild]

[quote name='OLAM Dad' date='Feb 13 2006, 07:44 PM']Helga,

Of course I'll pray for you.

I have an analogy that might help you through your uncomfort regarding the special treatment you receive in a habit.

I spent 10 years in the military as an officer.  We had an outward sign of our profession, a uniform.  As an officer you get saluted a lot and you get special treatment just as you described.  HOWEVER, we were always reminding ourselves so as not to get too big of a head (and reminding others who were getting big heads) that when somebody is saluting you they are actually saluting your rank, not your person.

When somebody is especially kind to you because you are wearing a habit, unless they know you personally, they are respecting your vocation, and not necessarily you.
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That's a very good example!

[simplemama]

hello sister! greetings from a gen Xer with 3 children!
i would wear the habit....why??? becaues of St Paul.
I decided about 7 months ago that i was going to cover full time because of corinthians as well as out of devotion to our blessed mother and at mass out of devotion or to the blessed sacrament.
most catholics think im a bit out there, wanna be fundie or mennonite....but im not....i just love being a visible witness.

i also look at pictures of the fatima children, the girls had head coverings on. i think it is important to hold to our traditions, and the headcovering is such a beautiful one!