Taking A Man's Name at Marriage

[franciscanheart]

I don't mind Miss

[Aloysius]

i think "Ms" is supposed to stand for "Mizz", meaning it could either be married or not married, while miss is the unmaried form.

[MichaelFilo]

I could be wrong, but they do become one flesh, why not give them one name.

Alas, women in jobs, and women holding on to their last names. How arciach to value a name, as if God has ever made a destinction between the Jacobs and the Johnsons. It's really a worldly issue. Then again, so is marriage.

God bless,
Mikey

[God Conquers]

I maintain that it is a sign if disunity in a marriage if the couple does not share the same name.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Socrates' date='Feb 16 2006, 07:53 PM']I don't either, but that's quite different than the term "Mrs."

"Mrs." shows that a woman is married to a man.
"Ms." is a title invented by feminists, which implies that a woman's marital status is irrelevant.
[right][snapback]889689[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
LOL...if it's so irrelevant to them than why are they constantly bashing women who get married? Back in my women's studies days, people always talked about "protesting" marriage because the institution was apparently discrimatory towards gay people. One person in the department was getting married, and everyone else decided to boycott it because it was "buying into a heterosexist system."

And if marital status is irrelevant, then feminists should have no issue with unfaithful husbands, because marital status doesn't really matter, it shouldn't actually say something about a person's role or identity and thus a married man wouldn't have to act like a married man. The whole idea is absurd.

I think having the title Ms. is supposed to make women equal with men, since Mr. says nothing about a man's marital status.

[Era Might]

[quote name='qfnol31' date='Feb 16 2006, 08:02 PM']I don't know what all has been said in this thread, but I will never take a man's name as my own.

Nuh uh, no way.
[right][snapback]889697[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]

If you come to Massachusetts you could and you would.

Don't front.

[qfnol31]

Don't front?

[Era Might]

Forgive me for not translating.

[url="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=front"]http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=front[/url]

[Deeds]

[quote name='Socrates' date='Feb 16 2006, 11:32 PM']What do you have against the term "Mrs."??
You sound quite the feminist!

(And deciding to disregard tradition and marriage roles regarding names based entirely on whether you like the sound of the name seems quite vain and childish!)
[right][snapback]889675[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
I don't like Mrs because I don't see why a woman's marital status should be apparent to the entire world [b]and yet a man's isn't[/b]. I don't like Ms either (too weird) so I'm Miss at the moment and hopefully Dr in a few years.

I wouldn't take the name only if it was really terrible. You're quite entitled to think me vain, but as Timon in the Lion King said, "Oh, what's in a name?"

Was I supposed to react with horror at being called a feminist?

Edited February 17, 2006 by Deeds

[avemaria40]

yeah, the world shouldn't have to know a woman's marital status. It falls into the old belief that a woman is nothing without a man, that whole, a man can do anything he wants but if a woman is unmarried, she is being punished and must be unhappy. I have nothing against marriage, i just hate that women have to be attached to someone in society. I'm 16 and single, but I am constantly asked why I don't have a boyfriend and guys constantly make the stereotype that I have to have someone b/c I'm 16. i've been asked frequently if I am a lesbian (which I am not and it's none of anyone's business if I am anyway) b/c I've shown little interest (except to my closest friends who can keep secrets about the guys I end up having crushes on) in dating. I hate that every part of a woman's sexuality has to be made known to the world and if a woman wants to keep her maiden name, why is that so wrong? the whole, i don't like his last name, can be very valid, if it rhymes with your first name, or if you don't like how the names sound together. Or, some women are very proud of their family's name or heritage and they keep it. And wanting to keep it because that's how you are known professionally (artist, writer, singer, company name, actress, w/e) is also a good reason.

I'm not a radical feminist, I consider myself a conservative feminist and I don't think anyone has the right to tell a woman to change her name if she doesn't want to.

Edited February 17, 2006 by avemaria40

[avemaria40]

[quote name='hot stuff' date='Feb 13 2006, 12:45 PM']I think if you're really going for the "two become one" idea.  Then why shouldn't I make a change?  If she's willing to take my name and my history, I should be willing to do the same.

I just thought it would be cool.
[right][snapback]885821[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]


That's so cute! Yeah, I believe if the two become one, it's more of a submit to each other thing. I don't see it as one person holding all authority but as two people in one team, you both work and make decisions together

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Deeds' date='Feb 17 2006, 09:58 AM']I don't like Mrs because I don't see why a woman's marital status should be apparent to the entire world [b]and yet a man's isn't[/b].
[right][snapback]890300[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
Why? What exactly is wrong with that? Does it make a woman less than a man? Does it render the sexes unequal? No. If a woman uses a prefix that reveals her marital status, and a man doesn't, what is sexist about that?

I believe women deserve equal rights and equal opportunities, but there is a difference between equality and frivolty. I don't see how prefixes like "Ms." elevate the status of women in society.

[quote name='avemaria40' date='Feb 17 2006, 10:11 AM']yeah, the world shouldn't have to know a woman's marital status.  It falls into the old belief that a woman is nothing without a man, that whole, a man can do anything he wants but if a woman is unmarried, she is being punished and must be unhappy.  I have nothing against marriage, i just hate that women have to be attached to someone in society. 
[right][snapback]890305[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
If I were married, why wouldn't I want the world to know that? Wouldn't I be proud of my husband and the name I would share with him and my children? I don't think it is wrong for a woman to keep her last name, but it is certainly honorable for a woman to take her husband's last name.

I am an unmarried woman and do not feel like society is punishing me because I am unmarried. I am happy being single, and if anyone has a problem with it then they can take it up with God because obviously he wants me to be single right now.

[photosynthesis]

It is also important to account for the history of courtesy titles like Mr, Mrs and Miss. These are all titles of respect, not of oppression.

In the English language, Mr (Mister) originated from the word "Master" to refer to older, married men. Then in the 19th century, people began to use Master as a term of respect for boys under 13, but teenage boys were never called Mister or Master. Eventually, Mister became the preferred title for all men, and the use of Master fell into decline.

Mrs. is a contraction of the word "Mistress," the feminine form of "Master." "Mistress" suggests authority, as it was a term of respect for the woman of the house. In the Victorian era, people began to use both Mrs. and Miss. Miss is a diminuitive, similar to Mademoiselle or Fraulein or Senorita, usually suggesting that the woman is young and unmarried.

Ms. only originated in the 1950s and was not invented by the woman's movement, but instead by a business management company that wanted to figure out a way to address a lady without offending her.

[Cam42]

[quote name='hot stuff' date='Feb 13 2006, 12:36 PM']If I were to marry, I would like to take my wife's maiden name as my middle name.
[right][snapback]885800[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]

That is what my sister-in-law did. She took her maiden name as her middle name and legally had it changed. In doing this, she created a family name for my brother's family going forward. My nephew Michael now has that middle name.

This isn't unheard of in my family though; as my uncle Billy, my cousin Eric and my sister have the maiden name of my grandmother on my mother's side as their middle name.

I think that this is a great way to promote and preserve the heritage of a female name while remaining traditional in taking the husband's name.

I totally support this form of preservation whether it be on the man's perogative, as hot stuff would have it, or as it has been done with my family.

Incidentally, the my nephew's middle name is Allen and my grandmother's maiden name was Jay.

[Deeds]

[quote]Why? What exactly is wrong with that? Does it make a woman less than a man? Does it render the sexes unequal? No. If a woman uses a prefix that reveals her marital status, and a man doesn't, what is sexist about that?

I believe women deserve equal rights and equal opportunities, but there is a difference between equality and frivolty. I don't see how prefixes like "Ms." elevate the status of women in society. [/quote]
But why? Why does a man's title not change and yet a woman's does, as if marriage changes a woman but not a man? That is the reason for my [i]personal[/i] dislike of the term. I'm not about to start a campaign for it to be banned, or tell anyone not to use it. Can I not have a personal opinion?