Sojourner Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Feb 13 2006, 03:04 PM']I think it's been a hastle to get all of her documents changed and sometimes there are expenses with that. [right][snapback]886024[/snapback][/right] [/quote] If you change your name legally, there are court costs associated with it. And there are costs associated with all the documents -- Social Security, driver's license, checks, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 yep. My friend accidently spelled her son's name wrong on his birth certificate (she claims she was heavily drugged and her husband made the goof). Fortunately, there's a little bit of a grace period on those kinds of things and she didn't have to pay for the change. Otherwise his name would be Benjaman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aloysius Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Well, generally girls not taking their husband's last name are trying to preserve their individual name somehow. Just showing how they never had an individual last name in the first place. Yes, boys take their father's names they just keep them. That's why it's patrinomial, the names pass through the males. The females do not pass on names, ergo they do not have last names of their own. This naming system has served our society very well in taming and rehabilitating the damaged role of fatherhood. Nowadays feminists are trying to change the system, even if all you folks are not. It is interesting how their changing the system is coinciding with a great disintegration of the family unit, great divorce rate, et cetera. I'm not proposing if there is a causal relationship nor what direction that causal relationship would be going in, it's just interesting that at the same time we have this lack of good fatherhood (well, that's been damaged since the industrial revolution, but it's completely disintigrating now) we have an attack on the naming system which makes men feel like their pride is on the line in the wellbeing and raising of the children. Whether or not this naming occurs legally doesn't bother me too much. I wouldn't take a position either way there... if you really don't want to pay an extra fee at your marriage then that makes no difference to me. Of course, my brother and his girlfriend argued to me one time that the reason they didn't get married was because they couldn't afford the fees for the marriage licence et cetera... so just be mindful of the full spectrum that that mindset occurs in... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='Aloysius' date='Feb 13 2006, 02:14 PM'] if you really don't want to pay an extra fee at your marriage then that makes no difference to me. Of course, my brother and his girlfriend argued to me one time that the reason they didn't get married was because they couldn't afford the fees for the marriage licence et cetera... so just be mindful of the full spectrum that that mindset occurs in... [right][snapback]886033[/snapback][/right] [/quote] There is not extra fee at marriage (at least not in Wisconsin)... The name change is done ON the marriage license. Both people have the option to change their names at that time. And the cost of a marriage license is a cop out... Ours only cost $40. I'm sure they cost more now, but not a whole lot.... I'm curious if any states requre a blood test anymore to get married.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Feb 13 2006, 03:22 PM']There is not extra fee at marriage (at least not in Wisconsin)... The name change is done ON the marriage license. Both people have the option to change their names at that time. And the cost of a marriage license is a cop out... Ours only cost $40. I'm sure they cost more now, but not a whole lot.... I'm curious if any states requre a blood test anymore to get married.... [right][snapback]886041[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Yeah, it's like $50 here. Not a reason to not get married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aloysius Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 haha you're telling me! some brothers of mine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kateri05 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 in maryland, you have to do your own name-changing. however, except for stamps and the marriage license, its free. social security allows yuo to change your name because you're married. you don't have to go to court at all. you just mail in the free form and your marriage license. they mail you your license back and a new social security card. your drivers license is, of course, a huge pain in the butt, as is calling all your credit card companies but... thats about it. and al, great points! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avemaria40 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 I heard of a family where the mom and dad added own parts of their last names to make a brand new one, i thought that was really cool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kateri05 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 see, to me, the problem with making your own last name is that it lacks tradition. wheres the continuity? wheres the family connection, the history of your name? :shrug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 and some names end up almost unpronounceable.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tata126 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 I am personally not at all a fan of making up your own last name. I also usually don't support a woman keeping her own last name, but there are some cases where it does make sense. For instance, a professor of mine made a name for herself in the academic world before she was married, so when she got married, she put her husband's last name before her own, and uses both names, not hyphenated, so people researching her books and such can still find her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qfnol31 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Are you sure it wasn't to keep the word "Starry" in her name? Grace Starry West.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photosynthesis Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='Aloysius' date='Feb 13 2006, 02:57 PM']Apologies to any woman who doesn't think it's fair; but fair or not this is the way it is: our society is a patrinomial society. Women do not have last names. They take their father's name at birth, they take their husband's name at marriage. You could keep your maiden name but that'd just be keeping your father's name. You could keep your mother's maiden name but that'd be just keeping her father's name. You could keep your mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's maiden name. But that'd be her father's name. [right][snapback]886015[/snapback][/right] [/quote] excellent point. One of my friends from college observed this... she smoked a lot of pot, and then called me in the middle of the night. She said, "CLAIRE! I HAVE HAD THIS AMAZING REVELATION FROM THE GREAT SPIRIT!" "Oh, have you?" "YES!!! I have decided that last names are evil and patriarchal. I mean, my last name is just my dad's dad's dad's dad's dad's last name, and so by even having a last name you are supporting the patriarchy! I am going to give up last names forever! So I said... "That's nice. I'm going back to bed now. And you should stop doing drugs!" She then proceeded to change her name. Now her middle name is her last name, and she doesn't have a middle name. I think it's stupid. [quote name='Sojourner' date='Feb 13 2006, 03:23 PM']Yeah, it's like $50 here. Not a reason to not get married. [right][snapback]886042[/snapback][/right] [/quote] and with all the tax benefits you get, it's a bargain. [quote name='avemaria40' date='Feb 13 2006, 03:51 PM']I heard of a family where the mom and dad added own parts of their last names to make a brand new one, i thought that was really cool [right][snapback]886106[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I think it's confusing.. I used to babysit this kid... Max Flysch. i just assumed that was the family name, but then in his bedroom he has a circumcision certificate which has his name and his parents' names. It turns out his mom's name is Fisch and his dad's name is Flynn... and I still don't know how to pronounce their names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kateri05 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Flysch. interesting question mark? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birgitta Noel Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='Aloysius' date='Feb 13 2006, 01:57 PM']Apologies to any woman who doesn't think it's fair; but fair or not this is the way it is: our society is a patrinomial society. Women do not have last names. They take their father's name at birth, they take their husband's name at marriage. You could keep your maiden name but that'd just be keeping your father's name. You could keep your mother's maiden name but that'd be just keeping her father's name. You could keep your mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's maiden name. But that'd be her father's name. [right][snapback]886015[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Yup, and thus the reason I use both. I am my father's daughter (and my mother's of course) and thus I wanted to keep "his" name as well. Yes, I know I've left them to cling to my husband, but that doesn't mean I still cannot honor my parents by keeping their name as well. There are no sons, and indeed, no other grandchildren in our branch of the family, thus to keep the name going and to honor my father I have chosen to keep that name as a part of mine. So yes, I have two last names. So what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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