avemaria40 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Exactly! I'll probably take my husband's last name if I get married and be referred to as Mrs. (or Dr. if God wills it and I become a pediatrician ) but I don't understand why the world has to know everything about, not only a woman's marital status but also everything surrounding a woman's sexuality. Yes, I want ppl to know if I'm married but ppl can tell if you wear a wedding ring, or if you tell them. I don't mind Mrs. , i just hate that ppl, as i have said already, seem to have a right to know everything about a woman's marital status, family plans, or sexuality b/c that's just all we were meant to do. And Deeds was just giving her opinion, she wasn't saying that women can't go by Mrs. She just doesn't get how the world has to know everything about a woman's marital status but not a man's and that is a very valid point Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photosynthesis Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 [quote name='Cam42' date='Feb 17 2006, 12:55 PM']I think that this is a great way to promote and preserve the heritage of a female name while remaining traditional in taking the husband's name. [right][snapback]890428[/snapback][/right] [/quote] but there's no such thing as a female name, at least not in most Western cultures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philothea Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 [quote name='avemaria40' date='Feb 17 2006, 02:38 PM']I don't understand why the world has to know everything about, not only a woman's marital status but also everything surrounding a woman's sexuality. Yes, I want ppl to know if I'm married but ppl can tell if you wear a wedding ring, or if you tell them. I don't mind Mrs. , i just hate that ppl, as i have said already, seem to have a right to know everything about a woman's marital status, family plans, or sexuality b/c that's just all we were meant to do. [right][snapback]890645[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Obviously, it's very important to the men of our culture to know if they can safely hit on you or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photosynthesis Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 [quote name='avemaria40' date='Feb 17 2006, 04:38 PM']She just doesn't get how the world has to know everything about a woman's marital status but not a man's and that is a very valid point [right][snapback]890645[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Can you name some other instances in society in which people expect to know everything about a woman's sexuality but not a man's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avemaria40 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 how women are always told, u have to please a man, u have to date, etc. how we're made to feel that if we're single, we're being punished, and being asked if ur a lesbian b/c ur still single at the ripe old age of 16 would be that the world is very nosey when it comes to a lady's sexuality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 [quote name='MichaelFilo' date='Feb 16 2006, 08:17 PM']I could be wrong, but they do become one flesh, why not give them one name. Alas, women in jobs, and women holding on to their last names. How arciach to value a name, as if God has ever made a destinction between the Jacobs and the Johnsons. It's really a worldly issue. Then again, so is marriage. God bless, Mikey [right][snapback]889781[/snapback][/right] [/quote] If its really that unimportant then I suggest you use your wife's name when you get married. : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photosynthesis Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 [quote name='avemaria40' date='Feb 17 2006, 05:42 PM']how women are always told, u have to please a man, u have to date, etc. how we're made to feel that if we're single, we're being punished, and being asked if ur a lesbian b/c ur still single at the ripe old age of 16 would be that the world is very nosey when it comes to a lady's sexuality [right][snapback]890707[/snapback][/right] [/quote] men go through that too, though. That's why teenage boys are such jerks They are under immense pressure to look "cool,"to "score" with girls and to be strong. Young men make young women feel insecure because they themselves are insecure. I don't think this is an example of sexism but instead an example of how obsessed our culture is with sex at such a young age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avemaria40 Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Very true You do have a point there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 [quote name='photosynthesis' date='Feb 17 2006, 10:30 AM']Why? What exactly is wrong with that? Does it make a woman less than a man? Does it render the sexes unequal? No. If a woman uses a prefix that reveals her marital status, and a man doesn't, what is sexist about that? I believe women deserve equal rights and equal opportunities, but there is a difference between equality and frivolty. I don't see how prefixes like "Ms." elevate the status of women in society. If I were married, why wouldn't I want the world to know that? Wouldn't I be proud of my husband and the name I would share with him and my children? I don't think it is wrong for a woman to keep her last name, but it is certainly honorable for a woman to take her husband's last name. I am an unmarried woman and do not feel like society is punishing me because I am unmarried. I am happy being single, and if anyone has a problem with it then they can take it up with God because obviously he wants me to be single right now. [right][snapback]890395[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Good points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 [quote name='Deeds' date='Feb 17 2006, 02:13 PM']But why? Why does a man's title not change and yet a woman's does, as if marriage changes a woman but not a man? That is the reason for my [i]personal[/i] dislike of the term. I'm not about to start a campaign for it to be banned, or tell anyone not to use it. Can I not have a personal opinion? [right][snapback]890616[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Basically because the wife takes the husband's name, not the other way around (though I know you seem to be opposed to that whole idea). What title would you prefer for women (presuming every married woman does not have a doctorate degree)? Why do you act like a woman's marital status is something to be ashamed of? It seems like this is just about demanding that men and women be exactly the same, rather than a logical position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quietfire Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 My story.. When my husband proposed to me, obviously after I accepted I asked him to take my last name. This wasnt a feminist conspiracy or anything. His family name has some negative ramifications in our area. Even he has complained about it. I explained that I was quite proud of my father's name and that he was more than welcome to share it since my family loves him sooooooooooooooo much (there are times I think they love him more than me LOL) He gave it some serious thought actually but decided against it. He figured he was born with that name and he wasnt ashamed of it, it was that just sometimes peopel hear a name and associate it with you...good or bad. So he totally understood my next request. I then asked, yeah I said asked, him if I could keep my last name somehow. After about a week or two of discussing it, we decided that my maiden name would be my middle name. No hyphens thank you. I love both my names because I love both sides of my family. It felt wierd giving up my fathers name completely and my hubby understood that, considering his last name sometimes brings sneers and outright critisism from people. His last name is cool though, very czech. I love to hear people mess it up. I can understand in a professional world a woman changing her last name can be confusing, but since I am not in that situation I really cant comment on that. My doctor got married and convienently her husband had the same last name as her. Same thing happened to a friend of mine. Eh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 [quote name='photosynthesis' date='Feb 17 2006, 04:55 PM']men go through that too, though. That's why teenage boys are such jerks They are under immense pressure to look "cool,"to "score" with girls and to be strong. Young men make young women feel insecure because they themselves are insecure. I don't think this is an example of sexism but instead an example of how obsessed our culture is with sex at such a young age. [right][snapback]890757[/snapback][/right] [/quote] True. I'd say if anything boys and men are under more pressure to be in a sexual "relationship" (or at least having sex) than women. (Though this may be changing). And this issue really has nothing to do with titles such as "Mrs." and "Mr." Gossipy and nosy people are just as curious about a man's sex life/marital status. (At least with a woman, a "Mrs." title can clear that part up.) And if people know you any more than just a name, they'll probably ask or find out about this stuff anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avemaria40 Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 I still believe that if a woman wants to go by her maiden name after marriage, there's nothing wrong with that. It's not always for feminist reasons and I hate it when ppl get all up in arms about it. It's her name, and her choice. BTW, i make the connection between marital status and sex life b/c ppl will point out that u automatically know if a woman is married or not by the titles Mrs. and Miss but a man, it's a mystery since they're all called Mr. it's understandable if ppl feel uncomfortable by that. A woman's marital status is never something to be ashamed of, it's just that, if it's a mystery to whether a man is married, why is it so obvious if a woman is? Ppl see inequality in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 [quote name='avemaria40' date='Feb 17 2006, 06:26 PM']I still believe that if a woman wants to go by her maiden name after marriage, there's nothing wrong with that. It's not always for feminist reasons and I hate it when ppl get all up in arms about it. It's her name, and her choice. BTW, i make the connection between marital status and sex life b/c ppl will point out that u automatically know if a woman is married or not by the titles Mrs. and Miss but a man, it's a mystery since they're all called Mr. it's understandable if ppl feel uncomfortable by that. A woman's marital status is never something to be ashamed of, it's just that, if it's a mystery to whether a man is married, why is it so obvious if a woman is? Ppl see inequality in that. [right][snapback]890796[/snapback][/right] [/quote] What's your issue other than that these things are different for men and women (as are many things). Why don't men get pregnant? Why don't men wear dresses? If you actually know a man in any way, you'll probably learn his marital status, so it's not like a man's marital status stays a "mystery." If your complaint is that it easier for a man to lie about his marital status - this again should not be something for a Christian woman to be envious of! And women can find ways to hide their status and lie too if they're interested in adultery. Being a "Mrs." hasn't stopped plenty of adulteresses! I'm not a woman, but having a "Mrs." a "Miss" title hardly seems like a huge invasion of one's privacy. And I don't think most women would really have a good reason for keeping their marital status a "mystery." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 mini -hijack I would like to get to use my last name more often, but if I go to the dentist, docs etc, its always my first name. I am not in favor of implied instant friendship or intimacy, particularly with people who are poking me with sharp objects. and another point [while I am ranting], when my marriage was annulled, some people expected me to go back to my maiden name. After 3 kids and years of marriage it ain't gonna happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now