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What Do You Desire?


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Thomas Michael

What I looked for in a woman was a strong sense of faith, a good sense of humor, someone who was caring, playful, and overall affectionate. The kind who would give you a hug or a kiss for no reason at all and would not suspect some ulterior motive if you did the same.

I'm happy to say my wife has all those qualities. :D

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hmm I don't think I should LOOK for the PERFECT man (unless Jesus is my bridegroom and I am in a monastery).

1) I am not goign to look for the person I am going to marry.

2) Well, since I am not going to look for this person...and if one so happens to come around and I am called to that vocation...I will put my trust in God and have faith that this person is my vocation. I'll trust that he will be compatible with me- Catholic and devout.

3) Since I don't know if "my future mate" is the vocation for me...I don't have a long list of a million desires. I guess I would desire for him to be a practicing Catholic. Looks and the such would not be important. I can't deny the wanting of a cutie but I think if a person comes along and i "know"...it won't matter. Personality is way more up there for me.

I desire to be open to what God is calling me to do - marriage, single life, or rel. vocation. It's all up to you Lord!

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What does the word VOCATION mean especially among Catholics?? i have heard so many people use that word in different ways that i would like some explanation up on the word

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Prayer for Openness to God’s Call

(Pope John Paul II)

Lord Jesus, once You called the first disciples in order to make them fishers of men. Continue to let resound today Your sweet invitation: “Come and Follow Me.”

Grant to young men and women the grace of responding promptly to Your voice. Sustain our bishops, priests, and consecrated souls in their apostolic work. Give perseverance to our seminarians and to all those who are fulfilling the ideal of a life of total consecration to Your service.

Enkindle in our communities a missionary zeal. Send, Lord, workers into Your fields and do not let mankind be lost because of a lack of pastors, missionaries, and people dedicated to the cause of the Gospel.

Mary, Mother of the Church, Model of Vocations, help us say “Yes” to the Lord Who calls us to collaborate in the divine design of salvation. Amen. - Pope John Paul II

Amen.

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It is important that you choose your career with care, so that you may really follow the vocation that God has destined for you. No day should pass without some prayer to this end. Often repeat with St. Paul: "Lord, what will you have me do?" - St. John Bosco

Vocation to me is what God has destined for me. In Catholicism we have married life, single life, priesthood, and religious life. It's a different way God is calling eace of us to make a difference in our Church and in the world.

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Right now, I desire a beer.

it never fails ;) ....but where in th world does that come into play when looking for a marriage mate??? Honestly, i want a man who doesn't drink...i grew up with an abusive alcoholic stepfather who beat us and my mom.. :sadder: ..never had a good experience with people with alcohol...so, i desire a man who doesn't drink so that my family will not be compromised by such a thing...actually, i have had a good experience...some of my Catholic friends took me :whistle: Karaoking:whistle: with them one night and none of them got drunk..we all had a good time and a couple of them didn't drink(not sure if it was b/c i was there or not) but we all had a great time :D ...but i still don't want that in my family....

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Would you settle for a guy that doesn't get drunk?

This is a very tough subject with me because of the way i grew up and all the things i've seen and been through because of alcohol...right now, my stepdad(not the one that i talked about previously) drinks all the time and all the extra money in our house goes to the beer fund...it is more important than his wife, his kid, everything!! i have seen us go without things because of this and the WASTE OF MONEY that it is...it is hard for me to even think about even dating someone that doesn't drink to get drunk....Before i met my Catholic friends in August, i had never hung out with people that drank--heck, i could do that at home and why would i want to do, i thought--but after being with them and realizing that they could have fun and not get totally plastered, it has helped me a bit see a different side....just as i have seen a different side of Catholicism through them...Praise God for this one!!!!!!!......yet i have SO MUCH fun and have never drank in my life that i don't think you have to drink to have fun:)....BLAZEr, i had never been in a bar(and i turned 21 in July) until a couple of weeks ago when my friends and i went karaoking....right now, i couldn't answer you yes, but i couldn't answer you no either....i'll have to pray about this one some more....

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It's ok, DM, I know what how you feel. I've seen alcohol be a poison in my own family too. I have several cousins who suffered through a divorce because of drinking.

Certainly alchohol can become a destructive force in a family. From your personal experience, you will naturally be very careful with this, that's totally understandable. I guess, I just tend to notice that alcoholism has more to do with people who don't know how to be temperate and then find themselves addicted to something they can't control.

Here's an example: I know a guy who used to be a drug addict and overcame drugs but became an alcoholic. Then, he overcame his alcoholism and became a hard core Christian. But he's just as obsessive and "drunk" on his Christianity as he was on beer. In fact, he doesn't know how to just be a normal person, everything is in excess. I mean, you can't sit and have dinner with him without him trying to convince you about some part of scripture he just 'understood' the same way I couldn't have dinner with him 4 years ago without him wanting to force me to drink.

I don't know. It doesn't help much I'm sure, but I guess I just wanted to share.

And in the mean time, keep in ming the Catholic word "reverence." Catholics should have 'reverence' for alcohol, not because its necessarily Godly, but because it's powerful and so we don't over indulge in it, and we don't treat it lightly.

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Such a good question. Something I have given much thought to. I like you Desiring, used to keep lists of the qualities that I desire in a potential mate, updating them every few months or so. But, it's been a while since I updated the last list. Now I just try to seek out someone who compliments me in the best ways possible.

I read part of JPII's letter to women and he talks about the Genesis story and how that relates to relationships (especially those with members of the opposite sex) and what I like most about it was the idea that men and women compliment each other, and that only through both genders can true humanity be seen and experienced. We are both, male and female, created in His image.

So, taking this idea of compliments... I'm looking for someone who compliments me. Someone who balances me out, and shares in my desires.

And I'm open to the fact that I may not find this in another human being that I may be called to live out a different vocation than marriage. But, in my heart I desire to find someone that I can share all of my experiences with, and who compliments me in the best ways possible.

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I too think that the one you marry must compliment you--in order to complete you---i thought i had found that person that complimented me, but now i'm not so sure....its hard when you feel someone compliments you and the other person doesn't feel that way.... :sadder: ...but then i go back to my desires, and is he really what i desire?? i'm not so sure....this leads me to ask more questions and pray to God for guidance

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i would want a man that is :

*non-smoker

*faithful

*honest

*romantic

*willing to adopt

*wants a big family

*get along with my family

hmm....cant think of a lot right now

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I understand that uncertainty that you are feeling DM. It's hard to know what compliments you and what doesn't. At least I have no idea what kind of traits compliment me best. I know a few that certainly don't compliment, but only from the experience of trying it out to see.

I have yet to approach the whole dating scene in what I think is the most appropriate way. I find that dating in our society is very difficult, especially for those of us who want to be good christians. Currently I keep to forming relationships, friendships, with people who intrigue me and see what happens in God's time. I have the faith that if God calls me to the married life then he will present to me a man to marry. I just don't know how that will happen, and how that will play out. But I have faith that it will happen if God wills it.

It's hard a lot of times to give it up to God and let things happen according to his plan for my life, but that's what I try to do.

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