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Write your own horrible similes


Jaime

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People seem a little down around these parts. I thought it would be nice to lighten the mood a bit.

A friend sent me some horrible writing metaphors today. So I thought it would be fun for us to write our own

(Its probably been done before)




[b]
[i]When he smiled at Amanda, her heart swelled like a bag full of borscht left out in the hot sun[/i].[/b]



Enjoy!

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For a second there, I thought it said smilies.

While he was working out in the sun, Larry sweated like a an obese, masked Mexican wrestler on a summer day in the middle of an intense match.

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[b][i]David's heart was racing in his chest. He started to feel the onset of panic. Suddenly he felt like a mime trapped in an imaginary box that was far too small![/i][/b]

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homeschoolmom

This reminds me ot that writing contest where you have to write the worst opening sentence of a story... ala "It was a dark and stormy night..."

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homeschoolmom

[quote name='Snarf' date='Feb 7 2006, 08:50 PM']He certainly wasn't the sharpest cookie in the sky.
[right][snapback]879614[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
This [i]is[/i] horrible...

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[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Feb 7 2006, 07:38 PM']This reminds me ot that writing contest where you have to write the worst opening sentence of a story... ala "It was a dark and stormy night..."
[right][snapback]879602[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]

[url="http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/"]The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest[/url]

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homeschoolmom

[quote name='Old_Joe' date='Feb 7 2006, 09:19 PM'][url="http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/"]The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest[/url]
[right][snapback]879675[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
:yes: that's what I was trying to say.

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She was as tired as an owl who'd been up all night hunting small gray mice. As she sat typing, her eyelids started to droop lower than grandma's pendulous breasts.

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"George stared intently across the table which supported the golden-brown fresh-baked cornbread with butter and sizzling cholesterol-laden bacon which could finish blocking his previously hardened arteries at any time, into Margerie's clear-blue eyes and realized that she knew what he knew, and she knew that he knew what she knew, and he must practice carpe diem before angina seized the day."

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Chief Inspector Blancharde knew that this murder would be easy to solve-despite the fact that the clever killer had apparently dismembered his victim, run the corpse through a chipper-shredder with some Columbian beans to throw off the police dogs, and had run the mix through the industrial-sized coffee maker in the diner owned by Joseph Tilby (the apparent murder victim)--if only he could figure out who would want a hot cup of Joe.

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