StatingTheObvious Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 A bit of comment from someone wh has spent years on thearapists' and psycholigists' couches. You need a bit of counseling too. You can't get over past hurts and improve your self esteem by re-living your past in new circumstances. I've always been fat, short, and uncoordinated. I didn't even get picked to play, much less get picked last and be made fun of. It sure as hell isn't going to help me by deciding I want to play soccor as an adult. If I fail at soccor, does that mean I'm a failure? No. It means I smell of elderberries at athletics. I'm not an artist, but I'm creative and can appreciate art. When I go to an art museum I get alot out of it. When a 'jock' goes to the art musem and just sees carp on the wall, does that mean he is unsophisticated and is just and athletic animal and is less human than me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 prayers for success, whatever you do! : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted January 6, 2006 Author Share Posted January 6, 2006 [quote name='StatingTheObvious' date='Jan 6 2006, 10:29 AM']A bit of comment from someone wh has spent years on thearapists' and psycholigists' couches. You need a bit of counseling too. You can't get over past hurts and improve your self esteem by re-living your past in new circumstances. I've always been fat, short, and uncoordinated. I didn't even get picked to play, much less get picked last and be made fun of. It sure as hell isn't going to help me by deciding I want to play soccor as an adult. If I fail at soccor, does that mean I'm a failure? No. It means I smell of elderberries at athletics. I'm not an artist, but I'm creative and can appreciate art. When I go to an art museum I get alot out of it. When a 'jock' goes to the art musem and just sees carp on the wall, does that mean he is unsophisticated and is just and athletic animal and is less human than me? [right][snapback]847848[/snapback][/right] [/quote] You must have missed a couple of my previous posts. I've been getting counseling for years now. And it's so encouraging to know I should accept the idea I'll never be good at sports, forget about them, and look for something else. But apparently you didn't read my posts carefully enough to know that this is far more than just an attempt to "relive my past in different circumstances." Heck, you don't even know me; thus, I don't think it's your place to tell me what I really need to do. Unlike you, I'm not just going to decide sports isn't for me just because I was bad at them at one time. Besides, I said earlier that in this thread I want support, encouragement, and prayers. If you can't offer those, then don't post in this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted January 6, 2006 Author Share Posted January 6, 2006 [quote name='hot stuff' date='Jan 6 2006, 10:03 AM']Dave Your decision to enter sports as an adult is in several ways a positive one. But when we are kids, we don't consciously know what the true benefits of participating in sports are to us. When we're kids, the benefits of sports are simply camaraderie a chance for achievement to impress the ladies The real inherent values of participating in sports are that we learn responsibility, self reliance and gain some control over our own lives. The real purpose of sports involvement is to teach us those things. It is to help prepare us to live our lives independantly and be self reliant. Its clear that you are placing a great deal of importance on your sports involvement in your youth. And this is an attempt to conquer old demons (aka Joel). Conquering old ghosts isn't always a bad thing. But while you will most likely succeed in adult intramural soccer or basketball, it won't help you unless you understand what the real values are supposed to be. Otherwise, your sports successes will just be a bandaid. [right][snapback]847834[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Thanks, hot stuff, for believing I'll succeed. : But trust me, for me sports is far more than a means to exorcise old demons; it's all of those things you just mentioned. In addition, I don't want to play anything intramural -- they're nothing but glorified pick-up games. I want something that is essentially like high school sports, with the only real difference being that the players are adults rather than teenagers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted January 6, 2006 Author Share Posted January 6, 2006 [quote name='Church Punk' date='Jan 6 2006, 07:49 AM']I think it would be best if you just stuck to rec leaques and built up. You will get better the more you practise thats all there is to it. [right][snapback]847771[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Of course I'm going to start out with rec leagues, but I'm not going to stay there. I intend to work my way up to a more competitive league. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 [quote name='Dave' date='Jan 6 2006, 04:27 AM']To everyone: Let me make something clear, something I didn't fully make clear earlier, for which I apologize. My purpose in posting about my experiences was NOT to ask for help or advice, nor was it to elicit pity. Rather, it was to ask for support, encouragement, and prayers. Because if someone believes in me, I can move mountains. And since y'all are my phamily, I figured y'all would appreciate knowing about what I want to undertake so y'all can wish me well, pray for me, and be happy for me when I report success. [right][snapback]847729[/snapback][/right] [/quote] as your phamily people feel the urge to inform you of their concerns. you notice these are all people (or well for the most part) have encountered you before and would probably care to see you succeed. they are presenting you with challenges, not telling you that you will fail. [quote name='Dave' date='Jan 6 2006, 10:49 AM']You must have missed a couple of my previous posts. I've been getting counseling for years now. And it's so encouraging to know I should accept the idea I'll never be good at sports, forget about them, and look for something else. But apparently you didn't read my posts carefully enough to know that this is far more than just an attempt to "relive my past in different circumstances." Heck, you don't even know me; thus, I don't think it's your place to tell me what I really need to do. [b]Unlike you, I'm not just going to decide sports isn't for me just because I was bad at them at one time. Besides, I said earlier that in this thread I want support, encouragement, and prayers. If you can't offer those, then don't post in this thread.[/b] [right][snapback]847861[/snapback][/right] [/quote] you are being uncharitable and asking others to support you. do you really think that is an equation for success? im sorry you werent prepared to hear others's concerns but the least you could do is not jump down everyone's throats. i recognize this as being something that you are passionate about and certainly you have some emotional attachments. i make this assumption based on experience that says if someone was not emotionally attached or extremely dedicated to something, they would not be so quick to defend themselves or to harp on other people. that being said i do not believe you will fail. i encourage you and believe in you. however, it is only prudent to question. and again, that being said, you have my prayers. we all pray that you succeed in whatever it is you decide to do. but all of us being human and having made mistakes would rather help you to find a good and sturdy thing instead of something that might be harmful or rather unfulfilling in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted January 6, 2006 Author Share Posted January 6, 2006 (edited) [quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Jan 6 2006, 11:02 AM']as your phamily people feel the urge to inform you of their concerns. you notice these are all people (or well for the most part) have encountered you before and would probably care to see you succeed. they are presenting you with challenges, not telling you that you will fail.[/quote] I never said they were telling me I would fail. [quote]you are being uncharitable and asking others to support you. do you really think that is an equation for success? im sorry you werent prepared to hear others's concerns but the least you could do is not jump down everyone's throats.[/quote] I was not being uncharitable. Rather, StatingTheObvious was being uncharitable by trying to discourage me and insinuating that I should accept my alleged limitations. I can't believe you can't or won't see that. The least others could do is not try and discourage me. So it's quite simple -- if you don't want me to jump down your (and I mean that collectively) throat, then don't discourage me. Besides, these "challenges" that people present are things I've heard before. Edited January 6, 2006 by Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 (edited) oh believe me, i think some people have been quite uncharitable and maybe a more proper label is insensitive. but i also believe that there is a better way to approach those people than by repeating the behavior. this is again in no way meant to be a personal attack as i myself have many faults. i too jump on people unnecessarily and i know its something i need to work on too. that being said, i really think anyone who knows you is simply playing devil's advocate for you. be assured of my prayers. best of luck to you. edit to say: you edited! haha. no fair! you may have heard these challenges before but us not knowing would lead us to also challenge. and who knows which questions have been asked and which have not? just as you could not believe (and would not believe) that i could not see the lack of charity in other posts, i can't believe (and wont believe) that you cannot see that everyone was simply looking out for you and your best interests. Edited January 6, 2006 by hugheyforlife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 [quote name='Dave' date='Jan 6 2006, 11:07 AM'] Besides, these "challenges" that people present are things I've heard before. [right][snapback]847882[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Maybe they're being repeated for a reason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted January 6, 2006 Author Share Posted January 6, 2006 (edited) [quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Jan 6 2006, 11:12 AM'] just as you could not believe (and would not believe) that i could not see the lack of charity in other posts, i can't believe (and wont believe) that you cannot see that everyone was simply looking out for you and your best interests. [right][snapback]847887[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Ok ... I wasn't going to say this before, but now I feel like I have to come clean on this ... The truth is, deep down I feel like everyone is against me in this. Always have. I find it so hard to trust those who say they support me. Maybe it's because I got so little support in the past, and it's hard for me to believe that people would actually support little ol' me. I guess maybe I want to hear people say they support me because, if I hear it enough, maybe I'll completely believe it (I'm not yet at that point ... I mean, I believe it, but not completely). Edited January 6, 2006 by Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 [quote name='Dave' date='Jan 6 2006, 11:19 AM']Ok ... I wasn't going to say this before, but now I feel like I have to come clean on this ... The truth is, deep down I feel like everyone is against me in this. Always have. I find it so hard to trust those who say they support me. Maybe it's because I got so little support in the past, and it's hard for me to believe that people would actually support li'l ol' me. I guess maybe I want to hear people say they support me because, if I hear it enough, maybe I'll completely believe it (I'm not yet at that point ... I mean, I believe it, but not completely). [right][snapback]847897[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I'm glad you said that. I really don't think it was a secret as it was pretty apparent in your responses that you had some sort of feeling like that. But thanks for saying it anyway. It definitely makes talking about it a little bit easier. I can understand thinking everyone is against you in this but you have to wonder if it is rational or not. I am not trying to belittle what you feel because I have come up against many of the same issues recently. I will not say I completely understand but I would dare say I have a good grasp on what you are feeling. There has to be a point though where when we say over and over and over again that we are only looking out for you that you have to at least accept what we say. You can only push us back for so long. That is just like with anyone else in your life. There is only a certain amount a person can take (again speaking from recent personal encounters) before they give up and turn away. It is like you are looking for us to be against you on this and people for the most part are not. Sure they play devil's advocate but usually when someone is doing that they care very much for you. If you keep resisting people will get tired. If you want to let us in on this, let us in. If you don't, don't. But stop pushing. We really are looking out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 [quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Jan 6 2006, 10:25 AM']If you want to let us in on this, let us in. If you don't, don't. But stop pushing. We really are looking out for you. [right][snapback]847903[/snapback][/right] [/quote] AMEN!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 [quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Jan 6 2006, 11:25 AM'] I'm glad you said that. I really don't think it was a secret as it was pretty apparent in your responses that you had some sort of feeling like that. But thanks for saying it anyway. It definitely makes talking about it a little bit easier. I can understand thinking everyone is against you in this but you have to wonder if it is rational or not. I am not trying to belittle what you feel because I have come up against many of the same issues recently. I will not say I completely understand but I would dare say I have a good grasp on what you are feeling. There has to be a point though where when we say over and over and over again that we are only looking out for you that you have to at least accept what we say. You can only push us back for so long. That is just like with anyone else in your life. There is only a certain amount a person can take (again speaking from recent personal encounters) before they give up and turn away. It is like you are looking for us to be against you on this and people for the most part are not. Sure they play devil's advocate but usually when someone is doing that they care very much for you. If you keep resisting people will get tired. If you want to let us in on this, let us in. If you don't, don't. But stop pushing. We really are looking out for you. [right][snapback]847903[/snapback][/right] [/quote] This one is wise beyond her years.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birgitta Noel Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 Dave you know you always have my prayers and support in whatever you do. Your success or failure at anything in life doesn't change our friendship. You can do this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted January 6, 2006 Author Share Posted January 6, 2006 (edited) Now I'd like to take this opportunity to think everyone on this thread who has shown their support and encouragement, such as Birgitta, Azriel, scardella, Rick777, rkwright, hugheyforlife, Sojourner, and many others --you know who you are! It really means a lot to know I have a phamily who is behind me every step of the way! I wish I could invite y'all to my games and stuff; it would be great to have y'all rooting for me in the bleachers! But contrary to what some people have said, I have NOT jumped on just anybody who has tried to give me advice -- only those who have been insensitive, that is, Cow of Shame, StatingTheObvious, FireMan911, and argent_paladin (not so much on the phorum but in a PM regarding this thread, where he was like, "I'm 30, and I never excelled at sports, but you don't see me posting about my childhood traumas on Phatmass!" -- in all just acting like he's so high and mighty just because he keeps things to himself). So I won't thank those others for anything ... except for giving me the drive to prove them wrong. And as for FireMan911 ... in a post by him that got deleted almost immediately, he said he'd been on PM long enough to be tired of me ranting about my "psychotic insecurities." But his profile says he just joined PM yesterday. That makes me suspect that, if he wasn't a lurker all this time and just now joined, then he must be a regular PMer who decided to hide behind an alternate ID just to dis me. That's a very cowardly thing to do, so FireMan911, if you normally post under a different name, it's time to reveal yourself! Edited January 6, 2006 by Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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