Trying2BFaithful Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I've been lurking your message boards for sometime without posting. I'm a college senior and cradle Catholic facing some serious moral crossroads in my life. I was raised Catholic, graduated from a parochial high school, and now find myself in the middle of an anti-Catholic, liberal minded small school in central Ohio. I never took my faith too seriously until after my sophomore year of college when a high school buddy who had been the drinking, womanizing, Mr. Popular in high school had a complete 180 turnaround to a life of complete obedience. Kinda floored me and led me down my own faith journey. He (my friend) was lucky to be at a very Catholic school (Benedictine in Kansas), while I am at a rinky dink bastion of liberalism known as Denison University. Being a faithful Catholic here is very hard. Needless to say, my first two years here I was a pretty bad Catholic. Rarely went to mass, drank profusely, smoked a lot of marijuana, even flirted with losing my virginity (which I did not). Making the turn around has been very, very difficult. I'm alone in my faith, it seems, and turning from the only friends I have creates substantial loneliness. Since coming to my senses, I have sinned much. I have given in many times to the temptations I know to be wrong. I've contemplated just continuing to live in sin with my friends until graduation and then turn fully to God, but I know that's not what I'm called to do. I believe whole-heartedly in the authority of the Church and in all her teachings, but face sin in every facet of my life. Next year I'm going to law school, and am only considering Catholic universities so that I can find a solid Catholic community in which to firmly plant myself. I see the road ahead of me as one of utter obedience. I am confident it is the road I will choose, but right now I am called to something greater. Considering the choices about with whom I will spend my time after graduation, I know that never again will I face these types of moral dilemmas. Never again will I be surrounded by so much sin...so much temptation. I will walk away from this school and find those who make me comfortable professing my faith. So what does this mean now? It means that right now is the time when being Catholic is most inconvenient, and when being a witness is most important. I know I need to make the right decisions and the right choices, but it's hard. Grace has shown me the truth, but only my will can make the right choices. Grace cannot make decisions for me. I have learned this lesson all too well. So what am I saying? I'm saying that I'm going to start participating on this message board for support. To keep my guard up. So that I won't be facing these last few critical months of my college experience alone. Based on what I know of posters here from the reading I've done, I need not worry. It feels good to break my silence. I'll close by telling you that I am expecting an acceptance or denial letter from Notre Dame within a week. I applied early decision and am very apprehensive about receiving the letter. Please keep me in your prayers and pray that whatever ND's letter contains, that it will lead me down the correct path. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Wow. Your post is inspiring to me. Welcome to pm! I'm excited that you've chosen to become part of the pham. It's provided me personally with so much support, so I'm confident it can be your place of retreat too. Your story reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite saints: "You tell me in your heart you have fire and water, cold and heat, empty passions and God: one candle lit to St Michael and another to the devil. Calm yourself. As long as you are willing to fight there are not two candles burning in your heart. There is only one: the archangel's." - St. Josemaria Escriva God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azriel Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 What an amesome testimony. It takes bunches of guts to step up and open yourself up. The pham here has been a bastion of support for me and many others, and I agree with dUSt that you can be confident that we'll be there for you too. God Bless and Mary Keep... Az Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilroy the Ninja Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Welcome to Phatmass! and we are here for ya anytime. Really. Just about anytime of day someone is here. Don't be afraid to ask if you have any questions 'cause that's why we're here. And there's a bunch of us (as you've probably noticed) from all different backgrounds and all different ages, so chances are someone here has either gone through what you're going through, is going through it themselves, or is close to someone who is. Keep your chin up and Via con Dios! :ph34r: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozencell Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I understand how you feel and I want to let you know that you're not the only one who is in such a situation. I am in the Air Force and work in a hangar. I am around mechanics and the like for at least 10 hours a day. It is a very ungodly environment and I have started posting on here also for support and guidance in my renewed walk with God. What strikes me as strange is that there are so many things that people are not ashamed of that not everyone like (i.e. music, entertainment, etc.), but when it comes to God it seems that most people brush over the subject or just stay completely silent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marielapin Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 That was a great post. You have come to the right place. Many of us are going/or have gone through very similar situations. I'm married right now and even still its not easy to be Catholic. I must admit though it was a lot harder when I was in school, and I went to a school in the "bible-belt". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God Conquers Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Wow, can I ever relate to this post! Hey, Welcome home. I'm a college student as well and know how hard it is to avoid temptation when your friends have no idea that it's even there. I just had a major conversion about 2 years ago from the lifestyle that you were talking about to one of trying to be faithful (in fact our situations were pretty much the same). Post here. Try to find some Catholic friends or a christian group on Campus, even if it's Campus Crusade. Posting regularly on phatmass has been a HUGE help for me in my faith life. Not only do I grow and learn about my faith here by debating and sharing with others, but it is a great reminder of what is important to me in this life and an easy refuge from sin and temptation. Hang in there, the Lord will pull you through! Glad that you're gonna be posting now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Trying2BFaithful, Welcome!! Phatmass has personally supplied me with support and a hunger for knowledge of what Catholicism is all about. And Phatmass has given me the guts to live out my faith. Just wait. It'll happen. Welcome to the phamily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nippy316 Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Wow....that was a great testimony. And as the others have said...welcome, you'll love it here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeraMaria Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 welcome!!! believe me, soon phatmass will have you praying novenas and rosaries and promising to pray for people at Mass !!!! :D :wave: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 I know I'm only echoing the words of everyone else who's posted before me, but amesome testimony! We'll be praying for you, and we definately will do our best to be a strong Catholic moral support for you! You're part of our phamily now, so we're behind you all the way! Also, if you're looking into Catholic law schools I STRONGLY suggest and encourage you to try Ave Maria Law School in Michigan. Its an excellent school, I know several people who have gone/are going there, are graduating soon, or are already graduated and working for law firms. There is an incredible Catholic community there, and I am sure that the people you'd meet there would be a great help in supporting and helping you on your faith journey. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Praise God! We're proud of you, my friend. In a faith journey, sometimes the road does feel very lonely. But the road is not being travelled alone -- and to me, it brings me more peace to be heading along the hard but TRUE road, even when seems like a dark tunnel. Even if I decided to "take it easy" and go along with the ways of the world, it's not worth it and brings no peace when you know you're going against what is right. Welcome!!!!!!!!! :halo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LTNgurl Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 i know what you mean! i was the same way! i was bad too, and it was mostly b/c of peer pressure...anyway...this is a great place to be...WELCOME TO PHATMASS. (i'm kind of new too) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsFrozen Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 I just wanted you to know that I think it's so great that your faith is so important to you. A lot of people our age don't seem to struggle about these things very much. I know how it feels to be cool and want people to like you, but (and I know this sounds cheesy) remember that God is so much more important than they are! Anyhow, I totally understand how you feel! I will be praying for you. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying2BFaithful Posted December 12, 2003 Author Share Posted December 12, 2003 Well, looks like I'll be holding my breath on ND for a few more months. I just got a letter from ND informing me that I have been deferred from the early decision applicant pool to the regular decision pool which won't inform me of an acceptance decision until March 1. ARGH! Oh well. IcePrincess: I already applied to Ave Maria School of Law. If I don't get into ND, I'll most likely go there. I'm hopeful for a substantial scholarship from them. And thanks to everyone for the prayer and support. I appreciate and reciprocate it. -Patrick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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