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chivalry?


daugher-of-Mary

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[quote name='Church Punk' date='Dec 21 2005, 08:19 AM']Mind you it seems to work out I pay for all the expensive stuff!
HAHAHA!
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as it should be!

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argent_paladin

[quote name='Church Punk' date='Dec 21 2005, 08:19 AM']I encounter this all the time! It is almost as if the other party can not accept that you are being genuinely sincere in your action to pick up the tab.

As for my girl friend and I we split on things. We have been dating for 2.5 years now and it would seem to be lop sided to have her not pay for anything and I would be broke.

I think that who ever invited the other one should pick up the tab. Like I got tickets to Paul McCartney 2 months ago and paided. But when she wanted to see Brooks & Dunn she paid.
Mind you it seems to work out I pay for all the expensive stuff!
HAHAHA!
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I agree that the invite rule is a good one among friends. And it is usually the case that the man invites the woman. You might want to invite your friend over for dinner (and you can cook). That is a very womanly, friendly thing to do and a way to reciprocate, without dueling over who pays. Also, brownies, cookies, etc are a good way to go. There are plenty of other ways to show your friendship other than paying for dinner.

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[quote name='argent_paladin' date='Dec 21 2005, 11:10 AM']You might want to invite your friend over for dinner (and you can cook). That is a very womanly, friendly thing to do and a way to reciprocate, without dueling over who pays. Also, brownies, cookies, etc are a good way to go.[/quote]

:drool:

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Laudate_Dominum

[quote name='argent_paladin' date='Dec 21 2005, 11:10 AM']I agree that the invite rule is a good one among friends. And it is usually the case that the man invites the woman. You might want to invite your friend over for dinner (and you can cook). That is a very womanly, friendly thing to do and a way to reciprocate, without dueling over who pays. Also, brownies, cookies, etc are a good way to go. There are plenty of other ways to show your friendship other than paying for dinner.
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Dueling over who pays, in the context of dating or courtship, is gross to me. It's in the same category as when the lady feels like she needs to hold the door sometimes to make it "fair" (eww). Our culture has become metrosexual.
With my g/f, I always pay for dinner when we go on dates, but then she's cooked meals. I think it's really romantic and gorgeous. It's actually really unattractive when women feel like they have to take a male role, or put the man in a feminine role.

When the man pays, it shows that he has what it takes to provide for a family, and when a woman cooks, it shows that she has what it takes to make a good home for a family. I'm not into all this gay feminist stuff where men and women are supposed to be the same. I think it's creepy actually.

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Extra ecclesiam nulla salus

whenever i go out with a lady this scenario seems to happen:
Me: here i'll pick this up
girl: thanks
Me: oops i seem to have forgotten my wallet again! Can you get this for me?
Girl: sure
Me: thanks

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:hehe: Poor Sam.

When I was getting acquainted with my (future) husband we often wound up going out to restaurants with our group of mutual friends. Now, I never had any money, and all my friends knew I never had money. I just didn't order anything to eat -- I was happy to hang out and have company.

Future husband kept offering to pay for my meal. This was great! Everytime he showed up he did this. :drool: (And I already thought he was cute...)

Much later, out of the blue, he apologized. He'd thought I was a mooch and kept not ordering food to get him to buy it for me! :lol: Only after he saw where I lived did he realize I really was unable-to-buy-food poor.

I thought it was amusing. Now he buys me stuff all the time... and complains (not very seriously) about how expensive I am to maintain. Hee.
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I would feel uncomfortable about it. If it was me, I would try to invite them out somewhere as my treat or something like that (I just don't do cooking). I don't think that makes me a feminazi. It's always nice to reciprocate kindness.

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I look at it like this, if I gave my sister (I don't have a boyfriend so she's my example) a present and she refused to keep it, it would really make me sad. I think that sometimes the best gift you can give someone is the gift of receiving. Not to say that I'm doing guys a favor by letting them be chivalrous to me but that they are giving me a gift and I'm happy to receive it :D:

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When a guy displays chivalry, it's the coolest thing in the world. This one guy gave me a ride home after the Steubenville conference, and whenever we stopped, he made it a point to open my car door for me when we got back to it. I never experienced that before, and it made me feel like I was special. My college friends and I at Steubenville joked that we never had to open the doors because guys would do it for us, but that was nice, too.

Then again, for my senior prom, I asked my date and paid for his ticket, but that was because he didn't go to my school, so it wouldn't have been practical for him to ask me or pay for me. He bought the dinner, though.

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