blovedwolfofgod Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [u][b]Atheist in the woods[/b][/u] "What majestic trees"! "What powerful rivers"! "What beautiful animals"! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!" Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"? The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"? "Very Well," said the voice. The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Didacus Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 (edited) good one! You probably heard this one too: Two men where running away from a bear in the forest, and the man on the right asked the man on the left: Why are we running from the bear, neither of can outrun him? The man on the left replied: I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you! And the two kept on running. Edited March 23, 2006 by Didacus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='Keyser Soze' date='Mar 23 2006, 12:18 AM']No one likes the black jelly beans...they taste awful. [right][snapback]918764[/snapback][/right][/quote]i like the black jelly beans...my mom gets a big bag of them every year for Easter for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luthien Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='Lil Red' date='Mar 23 2006, 10:01 AM']i like the black jelly beans...my mom gets a big bag of them every year for Easter for me [right][snapback]918956[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Weirdo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='Luthien' date='Mar 23 2006, 10:02 AM']Weirdo. [right][snapback]918958[/snapback][/right][/quote] i think it's everyone else that's weird for not liking them! : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luthien Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='Lil Red' date='Mar 23 2006, 10:03 AM'] i think it's everyone else that's weird for not liking them! : [right][snapback]918959[/snapback][/right] [/quote] But they taste funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 I like the Jelly Belly butter flavored popcorn ones. Everyone else I know thinks they're gross. I think they're the bomb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luthien Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Mar 23 2006, 10:18 AM']I like the Jelly Belly butter flavored popcorn ones. Everyone else I know thinks they're gross. I think they're the bomb. [right][snapback]918976[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Mar 23 2006, 10:18 AM']I like the Jelly Belly butter flavored popcorn ones. Everyone else I know thinks they're gross. I think they're the bomb.[right][snapback]918976[/snapback][/right][/quote]nasty, seriously nasty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luthien Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='Lil Red' date='Mar 23 2006, 10:20 AM']nasty, seriously nasty [right][snapback]918981[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I guess we have different jelly bean tastes. j/k. No but seriously, we can't share jelly beans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Didacus Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Anyone recall the flavors that came out in the jelly beans once the first Harry Potter movie came out? They where all sorts and the only thing the 'Harry Potter' jelly beans had in common where that they where twice the price and every kid my son's age wanted them. Personally, I don't like jelly beans period; I think they are simply mouth full of wax. But then again, this is the guy who can't stand the sight of butter because all I see is a stack of lard.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote] j/k. No but seriously, we can't share jelly beans[/quote] Yeah, dude.... Lil Red's Jelly Bean Ghetto Pass should be revoked. I can't trust the jelly bean credibility of someone that actually *likes* the black ones... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='Luthien' date='Mar 23 2006, 10:22 AM']No but seriously, we can't share jelly beans. [right][snapback]918983[/snapback][/right][/quote]you are darn right i don't want to share jelly beans with you! [quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Mar 23 2006, 10:30 AM']Yeah, dude.... Lil Red's Jelly Bean Ghetto Pass should be revoked. I can't trust the jelly bean credibility of someone that actually *likes* the black ones... [right][snapback]918995[/snapback][/right][/quote]i think i'm the only one here who actually has a ghetto pass, unlike [i][b]some[/b][/i] people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 [quote name='Lil Red' date='Mar 23 2006, 12:46 PM']i think i'm the only one here who actually has a ghetto pass, unlike [i][b]some[/b][/i] people [right][snapback]919008[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I'm pretty sure I have a ghetto pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 What You've been to Lincoln NE? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now