Heart Torn In Two

[Parishner]

I am undergoing a problem in my discenment.

I absolutley love the idea of being called to be a priest. I love my Bishop and I would love to serve him one day as a priest.

However I also am in "love" per se with my girlfriend.

I want to be married and have many children and at the same time I want to be a priest, consecrating the Eucharist for the faithful. My heart is torn in two ways and I just don't know which way to follow.

It's so hard to comprehend.

Any advice?

Thanks,

Parishner

[onathing1]

The only advice I can give you is to pray about it.

[zabbazooey]

It's really difficult to discern religious life with romantic involvement (speaking from experience)

[friarMatt]

[quote name='zabbazooey' date='Dec 4 2005, 04:50 PM']It's really difficult to discern religious life with romantic involvement (speaking from experience)
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I disagree....the best thing that happened for me while discerning was dating my ex-gf. We had a wonderful, holy and prayerful relationship. I easily could have married her and raised a family, but I still had the tug of a Franciscan vocation. It was then I decided that I really needed to pursue it and see what happened. 5 years later, I am in vows, in my 2nd year of theology and loving my life more and more each day!

God is so good!

I hope that may help, even a little bit.

in Christ and Mary,
fr. Matt

[Laudate_Dominum]

I would say be decisive and discern one or the other.

You won't be at peace with either one until you've given one or the other a sincere chance.

If possible, go on an extended retreat, clear your mind and "search your feelings". Don't expect an absolute answer (although you could get one), just focus on the present moment and make a real decision. Things of such high importance deserve decisiveness.

You don't need to make a final decision about your vocation, just a decision to pursue one or the other for now.
This is assuming you are even ready to seriously entertain either choice.

God reveals His will through our actions, discernment is not a totally passive state, it is active and docile.

If you are already involved with a young lady this could complicate things, but be fair to her.
You don't want to toy with her emotions or mess her up by being half assed. It can almost be like trying to date two people at the same time. Like always talking about how you might want to date Peggy while you are with Martha.

If you really believe you might be called, respond. Or give it a chance. But I personally cannot recommend casual or frivolous dating. I don't think it accords well with Catholic values. You will find people who disagree, but I'm pretty convinced.

You said that you love the "idea" of being called to be a priest. Who doesn't? It's an utterly amazing vocation. And these are noble desires. But there is a difference between liking the idea of being called, and actually being called. You may never know until you give it a try. I'm not suggesting you enter seminary on a whim, but it can be good to go on vocation weekends and all that, with an undivided heart and see what doors open and where you find the peace of Christ.

You may be called to holiness and service of others through the vocation of marriage and through loving a wife and children, etc. The problem is, in my opinion, unless you have a clear trajectory in your life right now, you can end up spinning your wheels.

Make a decision and discern that path. And don't be overly preoccupied with taking the wrong path. Trust in God to guide you and just focus on remaining docile and open to His will. Be generous, open and sincere.
That's my take on the subject anyway. For what its worth. But I'm no expert... A wise spiritual director can be invaluable for discernment.

I hope these ramblings help. hehe

[jezic]

i think it is more important to realize that it is not so much what you want, but what God is calling you to do.

[zabbazooey]

When I said romantic involvement, I mean casual dating

[morostheos]

I would say the best advice is lots of prayer and to be open to the will of God. Try your best not to focus on what you'd like to do but rather what God wants. If after deciding to date you continue to feel you may have a call to the priesthood, I would say it's important that you discern that for sure. If you discern the priesthood and find out for sure it's not your vocation you will be that much more at peace as a married person who is confident they are following God's plan.

my .02 - hope it helps! you're in my prayers!

[Philosopher]

Just a question, how old are you? (Just because it is important in what to do)

The reason I as is that I myself was torn when I met my first girlfriend at 15. I did decide to go on to date (especially since I was only into 1 year of high school anyway) and loved every minute of it. Now, I am entering seminary, even though we dated for 3 years and it had to end neither of us regret it. Pray and do your best to follow God's will. Find where your heart rests. Time is the best discernment helper.

Remember, as Saint Theresa said; "O Jesus, my Love, my vocation, at last I have found it ... my vocation is Love! Yes, I have found my place in the Church and it is You, O my God. who have given me this place; in the heart of the Church, my Mother, I SHALL BE LOVE."

As said before, choose one or the either now and stick with it until your next move comes up. Neither are permanant, but you need to devote yourself to one at a time for now.

[Era Might]

I would just add that you should be open and honest with your girlfriend about your discernment (if you're not already, that is). It wouldn't be very considerate, to say the least, to lead her on the path to marriage, and just dash her hopes one day and enter Seminary.

[uruviel]

try going on retreats if you can, explore if you can, and most def. ask God and PRAY

[be_thou_my_vision]

I'm in the same position, only I'm female!!!
I have a wonderful boyfriend of 2 years, but may be called to religious life... it hurts!
Jenny