I hate the holidays.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='susanbailey' date='Nov 23 2005, 01:13 PM']Tradition has it that more souls make it out of purgatory during the Christmas season than at any time during the year. I don't know about that, but I do know that I feel a strong sense that he is in heaven with Jesus and Mary. Maybe I'm deluding myself on that regard, who knows? I'm a very practical person and not one who sees lots of visions and miracles. Even the "visit" that I described to you was not what I would call a vision, just a picture in my mind, and a strong sense of peace.

All I know is that it gives me peace.

Peter loved Jesus and Mary. He was praying the rosary when he died. Be assured that he is either with them now, or will be with them soon once his purification in purgatory is complete. But even if he is in purgatory, it is with the hope and assurance that he will be with them. And he will know you when he sees you again. I really believe that.

Susan
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that's a really amazing story! I'm glad God gave you peace about this. Isn't Our Lady wonderful?

I am pretty sure that he is either in heaven or getting there... Now I have to work on getting there too!

Our priest from back home (the one who baptised him and helped him prepare for death) actually wants to put a cause out for canonization.

[quote name='susanbailey' date='Nov 23 2005, 02:31 PM']Being proactive means stepping out of the boat, so to speak. Scary! But it breathes new life into us. Perhaps there was something Peter wanted you to accomplish. It's perfectly okay to ask for his intercession. Ask him to suggest something proactive you can do to move into a better area of your life.

You won't be leaving him behind either if you move on. You will be bringing him with you to new and happier times.
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I can definitely relate to that! Peter said he always wanted me to finish school because he would never be able to finish school with his illness. He took a few classes at Rutgers but he eventually got too sick. He wanted to be an English teacher. He always called me at college and would ask about EVERY detail... the dorms, the classes, my major, etc. When he was dying, he would say "I don't want this to get in the way of your schoolwork." Well, it did. I ended up withdrawing from most of the classes and i am graduating a semester late. But I am graduating finally in about 3 weeks! provided that I get everything done...

I do get afraid of leaving him behind. I feel guilty whenever I go on a date with another man, or think about marrying anyone else... no one would ever be the same.

Edited November 24, 2005 by photosynthesis

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='philothea' date='Nov 23 2005, 01:34 PM'](Checking brain... nope, still can't think of anything remotely useful to say.  Stupid brain.)



I'll be thinking about you as I sit around with annoying, superficial faux/lapsed Catholics and eat food I don't want.  I'd rather hang with you and acknowledge the truth, even if the truth is sad right now.

Prayers that St. Michael whaps your relatives with a big clue stick, and maybe they have some consideration for a change.
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I hope so... at least my cousins will be there. My cousins are like my best friends. some of them know about the relationship I had with Peter, some don't. I am beginning to realize that denial has worked for me for the past 10 years and it's going to work now.

well, actually denial never works but i'm going to tell myself it works anyway.

[Socrates]

The ghost of Peter just popped out of my beer bottle and told me to tell you to snap out of it!

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Nov 23 2005, 02:22 PM']Photo, your priest might be correct about scrupulosity. Mortal sin is willfully done and deliberate. You might want to get treatment like grief counseling or for depression -- when I had depression unchecked I thought I was going to hell -- but I couldn't really pin it down as to what specificially I had done. We all know the devil is the prince of lies, and depression also says some really dirty lies to our minds as well -- that there is an punitive God that wants us to suffer, that we deserve every bit suffering we get, that it's ALL your fault.

I don't think God likes to see us suffer. We are so united with Jesus that we actually suffer with him.  I think God brings gifted people in this world around us to help us along the way when we do suffer. People to help ease the weight of our cross some.

If it turns out you have depression and your relatives give you flack for seeking help, that's their problem. You have the right to do what you need to do to SURVIVE. Don't let anyone convince you that you have to go through this alone.
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I will try to remember that... i guess I'm not all alone if Jesus is suffering with me. I am thinking about going back to counseling, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to do it yet. I have a LOT of issues with counseling and therapists. They're not my favorite people. I always say, "you can't spell therapist without the word 'rapist.'" That tends to annoy my Psy.D candidate friends, but some people are just too easily offended. i was mentally and physically raped by psychology and i do get worried that it would happen again if I try to get helped. my family would like it if I sought counsling, because I was raised to believe that counseling is the savior of the world and the solution to man's problems. for me, it's the cause of my problems...

I've never tried a Catholic therapist before, though. I don't think I would benefit from secular therapy at all, but if it's in line with the Gospel then it can't be bad.

I have a spiritual director, though. He is a priest and he is wonderful! I am going to miss him when I have to move.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Socrates' date='Nov 23 2005, 08:27 PM']The ghost of Peter just popped out of my beer bottle and told me to tell you to snap out of it!
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I am not amused.

plus, Peter never liked beer...he was always a whiskey-drinking kind of guy.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Socrates' date='Nov 23 2005, 08:27 PM']The ghost of Peter just popped out of my beer bottle and told me to tell you to snap out of it!
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you are insensitive and unkind.

[Socrates]

[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Nov 23 2005, 08:45 PM']you are insensitive and unkind.
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Sorry, just felt some levity was needed here - this was getting dreary and depressing. (And I'm sure Peter feels the same way.)

[Extra ecclesiam nulla salus]

i can't tell you i know what it feels like to be in your situation because its never happened to me. But i Will pray for you.


sam

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Socrates' date='Nov 23 2005, 08:53 PM']Sorry, just felt some levity was needed here - this was getting dreary and depressing.  (And I'm sure Peter feels the same way.)
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what were you expecting, show tunes? If I were able to snap out of it, I would.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Extra ecclesiam nulla salus' date='Nov 23 2005, 09:01 PM']i can't tell you i know what it feels like to be in your situation because its never happened to me. But i Will pray for you.
sam
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thank you!

[Extra ecclesiam nulla salus]

your most welcome!

I will pray a decade on my rosary for you tonight.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Extra ecclesiam nulla salus' date='Nov 23 2005, 09:05 PM']your most welcome!

I will pray a decade on my rosary for you tonight.
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i appreciate it so much!

i have decided i am going to TRY to be happy and thankful even though it is hard.

but i need prayers!

[philothea]

I will be praying for you!

[photosynthesis]

thanks to all who prayed for me...

today was a lot more bearable than I thought it would be. I even found stuff to laugh about.

my family isn't very Christian... everyone is secular except my grandma who calls herself Catholic but she's a member of a dissident group called Voice of the Faithful, my aunt and uncle (episcopal) and myself (orthodox catholic). Usually we just say the normal "bless us o lord for these thy gifts" grace before thanksgiving dinner, but my aunt and uncle burst out singing 'PRAISE GOD FOR WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLLLOOOOOOOOWWWWW" and I burst out laughing... It was such a surprise to see my family doing anything traditional or Christian. But it was funny, my aunt and uncle were singing, my grandma and I didn't know the words to the hymn because we're Catholics and everyone else had this bewildered look on their faces. I could barely contain myself!

[missionseeker]

Yay!! I love unexpected laughs and when things turn out better than expected (but who doesn't)
Any way, I extend the same offer of PMing if you ever want to to you that you did to me. I can listen.(and talk) And my typos often end up very funny.