Funny scriptures

[Dreamweaver]

Here's one I've always found to be written weird, even within the context it was written. Psalm 137

8: O daughter of Babylon, you devastator! Happy shall he be who requites you with what you have done to us!
9: Happy shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock!

[PadrePioOfPietrelcino]

here's somemore,

These are all Proverbs

11:22 Like a golden ring in a swine's snout is a beautiful woem with a rebellious disposition

19:13 The folloish son is ruin to his father, and the nagging wife is a persistent leak

20:29 The glory of young men is their strength, and the dignity of old men is gray hair. ( I found a gray hair the other day )

21:9 and 25:24 same verse
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than in a roomy house with a quarlesome woman.

26:16 The sluggard imagines himself wiser than seven men who answer with good sense.


OK, good for now, maybe more later.

Peace,
Ben

[DAF]

The passages where Jesus is just walking around and people just drop what they're doing to follow him always get a laugh out of me. Like where Jesus is walking through the crowd, and the posessed woman grabs his robe, and he just stops like "what the he...?" and turns around to tlak to her. And then he's like "who touched my robe?" Like a mobster. Haha.

Or in Acts when they heal the paralytic on the stairs, a friend and i joke about it (perhaps it is sacrilage... :dunno: ) that when the she's jumping around, she trips and falls down the staris and becomes paralyzed again, and the apostles are like "we can do it once...but i don't know about twice..."
haha

[TheOliverOrder88]

The President at our school has this verse from kings on his Signature.

Just the verse heading, not the actually verse...

He's bald and fat so its funnier.

The verse actually says something like "And the bald fat man appears out of the woods and kills the disobedient children..."

Gave me a chuckle.

[PadrePioOfPietrelcino]

LOL oliver

[Totus Tuus]

[quote name='VoloHumilisEsse' date='Nov 22 2005, 11:20 PM']anytime Jesus says "amen, amen i say to you......."

i always feel like he is saying "YO STUPID...LISTEN!!!"
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He was.

In my Bible, I highlighted all the Scripture passages following those words (amen, amen I say to you) because I came to learn that Jesus meant business when He said that).

Edited November 24, 2005 by Totus Tuus

[Fidei Defensor]

Revelation 2:13 - "I know where you live.."

[Church Punk]

A preist I know has a good story like this. When they were about to be ordained out of the seminary the took a class photo and they were trying to decided on a verse,

They asked one of the professor what he thought, so he simply wrote the book chapter and verse for them to look up.

When they finally looked it up, it was the verse of

"And then Jesus Wept"

LOL

[Old_Joe]

If only you would put up with a little foolishness from me! Please put up with me.
- 2 Corinthians 11:1-2

[homeschoolmom]

Back in the day when I wrote letters, I would PS with:

Galatians 6:11 See what large letters I use as I write to you with my own hand!

[Laudate_Dominum]

once I was praying evening prayer with a bunch of seminarian type dudes and there was a line in one of the psalms that nearly put me into a laughing fit.

That was embarassing.

[homeschoolmom]

[betinabean]

Jesus found an ass and sat upon it, as is written:
~ John 12:14

[Snarf]

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.
(2 Kings 2:23-25)

[God Conquers]

[quote name='Snarf' date='Nov 28 2005, 08:48 PM']From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.
(2 Kings 2:23-25)
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This is without a doubt the greatest of all time... oh how many people have laughed at my "serious scripture study".