PadrePioOfPietrelcino Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 I'm a fan of scriptures, that when taken a out of context (ussually) are quite funny, or have funny implications. I just found a new favorite. Does anyone else have any favorites, or am I just wierd like that? "If he does not wash or does not bathe his body, he shall have the guilt to bear." Leviticus 17:16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
argent_paladin Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 When I was a Dominican, we had a guy who was great at this. We each were assigned a week to read a verse or two from scripture before dinner to the entire community. These are some of the verses he chose: Gen. 27:11 my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man Song of Songs 1 I am black but lovely. (paraphrased as "I am black and beautiful.") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totus Tuus Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 That verse from the Canticle of Canticles is really beautiful if you read it in context and pretend it's not written in English : haha. St. Paul: [i]Knowledge puffeth up...[/i] And once during Lectio Divina I accidentally read: "Oh ye little men of faith..." Instead of "oh ye men of little faith". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philothea Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 I don't have the chapter and verse now, but that Old Testament story about the trees deciding who will be king of the trees. We heard it at a daily mass not long ago, and my husband and I were like... . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old_Joe Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 There was one from either Sirach, Ecclesiasties, or Proverbs and it goes something like: "It is better for a man to stand on the corner of the roof of his house than to be in a room of dangerous women." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 1 Corintians 15:51 "We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed." (This hung on the door of the nursery of our old church) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Didacus Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 I like that last one... LOL. Sorry though, no contribution of my own. I'll try to find something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
argent_paladin Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 Compline reading has "Be angry, but do not sin." but our reader said "Be hungry, but do not sin." If he didn't correct himself, we probably wouldn't have noticed, but then we started laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Extra ecclesiam nulla salus Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 i don't know who says it but its an old testament prophet and he says "You have duped me o Lord!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PadrePioOfPietrelcino Posted November 22, 2005 Author Share Posted November 22, 2005 [quote name='Old_Joe' date='Nov 22 2005, 01:25 PM']There was one from either Sirach, Ecclesiasties, or Proverbs and it goes something like:Â "It is better for a man to stand on the corner of the roof of his house than to be in a room of dangerous women." [right][snapback]797835[/snapback][/right] [/quote] It's proverbs, I have it highlighted in one of my Bibles. I'll look it up later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 The very last verses of Jonah. [quote]But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philothea Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 [quote name='missionseeker' date='Nov 22 2005, 11:10 PM']The very last verses of Jonah. [quote]But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well.[/quote] [right][snapback]798237[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I always thought that verse was very sweet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeTeamFamily Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 anytime Jesus says "amen, amen i say to you......." i always feel like he is saying "YO STUPID...LISTEN!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 [quote name='philothea' date='Nov 23 2005, 12:14 AM'] [right][snapback]798237[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I always thought that verse was very sweet. [right][snapback]798242[/snapback][/right] [/quote] If your mother reads it right it sounds very funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 My brother and I used to giggle during Mass when they read Genesis 3:10 -- "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked." Or: "A certain young man was following Jesus, wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They caught hold of him, but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked" (Mark 14:51). A friend and I were laughing about that in college because we didn't quite understand it's significance. And we thought it was funny -- like the "holy streaker" and John 6:43 -- "Jesus therefore answered and said unto them, Murmur not among yourselves." (His polite way of telling them to shut up) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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