How bad a mother am I

[homeschoolmom]

I'm going to place my money on choice 2.

[Aloysius]

perhaps she could do well with a brisk walk? haha... or if not how about she starts saving up her money for a new bike? :

anyway, yeah I was on the Passion of the Christ forums quite a long time ago. same avatar, i think same name (unless I was in the mood at that time to make some slight variation to Aluigi (italian form) or Alaois (gaelic form))

glad I could help :

[Totus Tuus]

[quote name='annie' date='Nov 16 2005, 09:58 AM']jasjis--I am also older than you

Thanks for the advice, and I am thinking with her propensity to flippancy, I will not say a word about this morning to her, let the consequence do the talking, and just love her in the moment so to speak.  If she brings it up, though, I will definitely say how great it is that she got herself to school.  Of course, the plot will thicken when after school time arrives:

1. Will she ride the bike home in the cold?

2. Will she call from school AFTER missing the bus on purpose, saying 'Can you pick me up because I have my bike?"

3. Will she ride the warm bus home, only to say, "My bike is at school, can you drive me to pick it up?  You WANTED me to take the bus, right?"
Hmm, what to do in situation 2?  Tell her to ride the bike home is my bet.

                                    Situation 3?  Anyone?  Anyone?
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Let her ride her bike home. If she doesn't, tell her she has to ride it home tomorrow, and hope that it doesn't get stolen tonight.

[annie]

EVERYONE PLACE YOUR BETS!!!

I will report after school today (3:00 CST) what the answer is!

Place your bets---homeschool mom is first with #2--call from school!

[annie]

Totus Tuus--- EXCELLENT answer to #3---If she arrives home, will tell her that. Bike was a gift,and if she needs to replace it, SHE can do that. And guaranteed it will have been stolen if left overnight.....muhahahaha!

Life's lessons are never easy.

[Theoketos]

I am 23 year old father. I would have done the same thing. Though when she gets home cookies would be awesome.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='annie' date='Nov 16 2005, 11:14 AM']Totus Tuus--- EXCELLENT answer to #3---If she arrives home, will tell her that.  Bike was a gift,and if she needs to replace it, SHE can do that.  And guaranteed it will have been stolen if left overnight.....muhahahaha!

Life's lessons are never easy.
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Wow...I wish my mom was as cool as you.

She would have just driven me to school calling me names the whole way...and she would have been the reason we were late...almost always was...

[Didacus]

To all those Mean Moms....







Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you
enough . . to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you go pay for the
bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I
stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room, a job that should have
taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you
will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a
Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you
can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She
had to know who our friends were, and what we were
doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an
hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We
had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really
tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them. While everyone else could
date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until
we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all
her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

[jasJis]

My vote would be #1, she rides it home and be mad at you. Expect that and have hot chocolate or a hot snack waiting (along with a compliment on her maturity). If she comes home on the bus, question her why she didn't bring her bike home and what should be done about the bike. Keep asking questions like how is the bike supposed to get home? Why should we pick it up in the car and wast gas because you decided to ride it. Don't accept the 'wrong' clock as an excuse. You woke her and she could have just gotten up or asked what time it is, she owns her decision. If you have to go get it in the car, dump the snack since she doesn't need it, and just comment on the way that you were impressed with the maturity of her decision to ride to school and the mature second half would ge to have ridden it back. She takes care of her business, and you support her when she does.

Now if she does ride it back, hit while the iron is hot. Tell her you are impressed with her maturity and ask her if she is ready to be responsible for getting herself up and you will no longer 'nag' her but she is responsible to get to school if she misses the bus (despite the weather). It's her decision, but I would make it clear that she has demonstrated enough maturity to not be told more than twice to get up.

Edited November 16, 2005 by jasJis

[annie]

Love the mean mom thing--thanks!

I like the idea of cookies! It is snowing harder here now, maybe hot chocolate too!

[rckllnknny]

my mom used to slap me and cuss me out and scream at me and call me names to wake us up right before we were running out the door. with no wishes of "good luck"" before dropping us off at school.
and once in junior high my dad slammed on the brakes on a busy street skidded off the road. jumped out of the car and chased us why we took off running away from him to go to school.
so..no..you probably shouldnt question whether or not youre a good mom. i dont think my parents ever "questioned" themselves..they already KNEW they were horrible.

kids understand things better when theyre older. shell thank you...i promise.

Edited November 16, 2005 by rckllnknny

[megrc]

My mom used to do the same thing to me, we lived 30 miles from my high school and 15 from my junior high. If I didn't get up in time for her to take me, I had to find my own way, and sometimes that meant walking.

[annie]

rck---I am so sorry to hear your story--what an amazing person you must be to have overcome such hateful dealings. You poor thing! Wish I could give you some hot chocolate and cookies and tell you what a great kid you are!

Thank you for sharing. I must say, it is tempting to yell and belittle, and in the past I have done that on occasion--for sure more than I should have. The frustration just builds so much! I also had a rather poor example with my own parents, but for some reason I was not as obstinate as my younger sister, who clashed with them much more often than I did. It is tough to break the cycle. Thankfully we have an awesome, merciful God who will show us the way if we only listen. (which I still have trouble doing, too)

[homeschoolmom]

I'm inspired. Tomorrow, if my children aren't ready for school on time, by golly, they'll have to ride their bikes down the stairs to school!!

Who am I kidding. They're up waaaay too early as it is.

[rckllnknny]

i think we all get frustrated as parents. i know ive raised my voice more than i should and ignored my son because i was too upset in fear i might lose my temper.



just do me a favor...
just always let your kids know that they are good kids.
okay??
even if you have to wait until youre settled down..
please?

thnx.