Marieteresa Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Hey folks, I am just wondering is it a good idea to date while discerning? I have heard mix views of this and was just wondering what you guys thought about it. In Jesus, Our Blesed Mother and St. Teresa? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laudate_Dominum Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 if you are really discerning a vocation it is best to be of one mind and heart. In my experience it is best to pursue one path until you get the answer, otherwise you'll be asking for a rollercoaster ride. there is nothing wrong with befriending nice young men, but if you are discerning religious life it isn't right to get in a relationship with someone. Its a case of, "I'm with you [the b/f] right now, but I also want to be a nun so watch out", it would sound worse if you thought of it like this, "I'm with you, but I'm quite seriously interested in leaving you for Jimmy at some point", where Jimmy is an analogy for religious life. hehe And its quite possible to jeopardize your vocation by dabbling in romance. I would say the way to do it, when your ready, is to get a good spiritual director and start pursuing religious life, and see how it goes. Date God for a while and be committed. Visit an order or two, pray about it, pray about marriage, etc.. no need to rush, but if you really think you might be called that is a gift that should not be taken for granted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avemaria40 Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 (edited) yeah, i think I'm discerning, so i've sworn off boys for awhile, (not hard b/c i've never had a boyfriend, but still hard b/c i've always wanted one and i've had guys interested in me) I think i won't date till i get an answer from God on whether i might become a nun or get married b/c i dont' want to jeopordize(sp?) my vocation, or give in completely to feelings. So it would probably be wise not to date while your still discerning prayers for ur vocation! Edited November 6, 2005 by avemaria40 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForHimAlone Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 I would say dating is probably not a good idea, especially when seriously discerning a life of celibacy. Our hearts are so frail that we could become very easily confused if we start a relationship with someone while still discerning the religious life. Besides, discernment really is a very special time where you need to focus in on your Beloved and on Him alone and offer Him a full and undivided heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totus Tuus Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 I totally agree with L_D. Those are my views. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zabbazooey Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 Exactly mine as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marieteresa Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 I am just wondering what if certain religious recommend this? I have heard a few state that Iam too young that I should date and enter later. Just wondering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zabbazooey Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 you're 25 why do they say that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marieteresa Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 [quote name='zabbazooey' date='Nov 6 2005, 06:09 PM']you're 25 why do they say that [right][snapback]780499[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I am guessing they expect you to consider religious life when your 30 or so. A friend of mine whom is in her 20's was told the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dust's Sister Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 [quote name='Marieteresa' date='Nov 6 2005, 06:14 PM']I am guessing they expect you to consider religious life when your 30 or so. A friend of mine whom is in her 20's was told the same thing. [right][snapback]780508[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I'm 23 and I am still waiting on dating (If I date ever again). I dated once with a guy about a year in a half ago, and it didn't go too well. Didn't last that long at all, In fact when I was confessing about that particular thing I think is when the priest told me to go to RCIA classes, in which I am in now, and now that I'm attending the RCIA classes I feel I might be called to be a nun. I never really made dating as a big deal in my life, I could careless if I had a guy in my life, and I havn't really thought that big on being married and having kids. I'm also a very low maitnence (sp?) person. If you feel you think you would do good being married and raising a family then you could go ahead and try dating, but if you feel you are really really really called to be in a religious life, then I would hold off on dating. Like Laudate_Dominum said, date God for a while..........I wouldn't do both at the same time, that would be really hard. Maybe talk to someone at your Church about it, I dunno. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passionheart Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 [quote name='Marieteresa' date='Nov 6 2005, 08:05 PM']I am just wondering what if certain religious recommend this? I have heard a few state that Iam too young that I should date and enter later. Just wondering [right][snapback]780495[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I find that interesting. By the time I was your age, I knew I wouldn't marry. I couldn't give myself to one person but I did experience intimacy in some of the relationships I had. So I knew I wanted to give myself completely at service of others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dust's Sister Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 [quote name='passionheart' date='Nov 6 2005, 09:21 PM']I find that interesting. By the time I was your age, I knew I wouldn't marry. I couldn't give myself to one person but I did experience intimacy in some of the relationships I had. So I knew I wanted to give myself completely at service of others. [right][snapback]780649[/snapback][/right] [/quote] What age did you enter the religious life, and what are you now? (just curious, if you don't mind me asking) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passionheart Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 [quote name='Dust's Sister' date='Nov 6 2005, 11:23 PM']What age did you enter the religious life, and what are you now? (just curious, if you don't mind me asking) [right][snapback]780653[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I haven't entered religious life.................yet. I am 43 old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dust's Sister Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 [quote name='passionheart' date='Nov 6 2005, 09:28 PM']I haven't entered religious life.................yet. I am 43 old. [right][snapback]780667[/snapback][/right] [/quote] cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForHimAlone Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 [quote name='Marieteresa' date='Nov 6 2005, 06:14 PM']I am guessing they expect you to consider religious life when your 30 or so. A friend of mine whom is in her 20's was told the same thing. [right][snapback]780508[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I'm 16, and I was told to avoid any dating relationships. The sister who gave me that advice said that dating would be a large obstacle and may easily confuse me or steer me away from the religious life. I know some sisters will want you to have dating experience, but I really don't find it necessary or beneficial. I would talk to your Spiritual Director (if you have one) and see what he says. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now