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Interfaith dating


avemaria40

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[quote name='robguitar' date='Nov 6 2005, 05:34 PM']I was raised Methodist and my wife is Catholic. Within a year of our son being born I went through the RCIA program and converted. I'm really glad I did and it has certainly made raising our children a lot easier.
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Rob, that's great! Welcome to the church!

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photosynthesis

[quote name='Socrates' date='Nov 6 2005, 12:15 AM']Do you consider your Catholic Faith to be the most important thing in life, or just one of many "qualities"?
Do you (addressing the ladies generically here) overlook good Catholic men in favor of non-Christian types you consider "sexier"?
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1. of course it's the most important thing in life!
2. nope! but then again, i don't date non-Christian men.

-see my "guys with marian devotion are hott" thread :)

[quote name='son_of_angels' date='Nov 6 2005, 10:47 AM']Actually, its the number of heterodox/uncommitted Catholic WOMEN that is rising, not men. 
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where'd you get that statistic?

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One quick observation/reflection.

As I've given this some thought, I realize it's not fair of me to blame my lackluster dating life on the paucity of eligible men in Mass. I'm a firm believer in applying personal responsibility where it's due, and frankly I've made the choice to pursue other things than marriage. If I'd made that pursuit the end all and be all of my life, I'm sure I'd be toting little Johnny on my hip right now and telling Susie to brush her teeth and get into her pajamas. Instead, I've chosen a different path.

Of course, now that I'm actually ready to settle, I find that my choices up to this point have seriously limited the available field from which to choose. At the same time, I've found my standards are now higher than ever. That's not the fault of those left in the field ... it's more a product of who I've become. I know myself better, which means better knowing what I want. And all in all, that's not a bad thing.

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I would find a nice Catholic guy to date, but I'm discerning so I don't think I'll date for awhile, and the sad thing is I don't find a lot of strong Catholic guys. One I do know who is a strong Catholic is only a friend, I would date him if we were attracted to each other, and if I wasnt' discerning, and the guys I end up attracted to, ironically, are Jewish, atheist, or agnostic, or they're Catholic, but not that strong in the Faith, so I wouldn't date them, not trying to be mean, but I'm trying to get stronger in the Faith, and I don't want to have another obstacle in my way. Also, it's annoying, b/c there are those who will occasionally give me a hard time about the Catholic Church, and even if i really liked the guy, i couldn't date him if he's going to criticize my religion all the time .

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[quote name='avemaria40' date='Nov 6 2005, 09:40 PM']I would find a nice Catholic guy to date, but I'm discerning so I don't think I'll date for awhile, and the sad thing is I don't find a lot of strong Catholic guys.  One I do know who is a strong Catholic is only a friend, I would date him if we were attracted to each other, and if I wasnt' discerning, and the guys I end up attracted to, ironically, are Jewish, atheist, or agnostic, or they're Catholic, but not that strong in the Faith, so I wouldn't date them, not trying to be mean, but I'm trying to get stronger in the Faith, and I don't want to have another obstacle in my way.  Also, it's annoying, b/c there are those who will occasionally give me a hard time about the Catholic Church, and even if i really liked the guy, i couldn't date him if he's going to criticize my religion all the time  .
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how seriously are you discerning religious life? There's a difference between between merely being open to where the Holy Spirit leads, and visiting communities, telling your parents + friends that you're called to religious life, and talking to vocation directresses.

You are young, give it time! I know I hear this all the time from people, since I am young too. Sometimes we spend so much time thinking about the future, that we don't focus on living a life of virtue in the present.

Also, remember... if a dating relationship isn't helping you grow in holiness and virtue, it can't be good.

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Proud2BCatholic139

If I dated a Christian, non-catholic, who was religious, and who would convert to Catholicism, I'm all up for it. But, if not, it would be extremely hard.

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it's a negative... even more, the Church still prefers that Her children not marry outside of the Faith -- contrary to common belief.

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After 18 yrs of Marriage I can safely say that were it not for sharing the same Faith, we would probably not be together to this day. When the caca hits the fan...... and it willl; a shared Faith, even though not mature or particularly strong can be the only thread that binds. To count on a conversion of a spouse at a later time is .......... well, ludicrous.

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Why does it seem like more women who are into their faith seem more willing to date lax/nonCatholics than guys who are into their faith?

Anyway, I'd love to date/marry a good Catholic girl. I think that I'd have a hard time dating a non-Catholic unless she were on the cusp of converting. If for no other reason, it would be because I would feel like we wouldn't be providing a consistent message to our children in raising them Catholic if I were Catholic and she were <insert something else here>.

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[quote name='Sinner' date='Nov 7 2005, 10:53 PM']After 18 yrs of Marriage I can safely say that were it not for sharing the same Faith, we would probably not be together to this day.  When the caca hits the fan...... and it willl; a shared Faith, even though not mature or particularly strong can be the only thread that binds.  To count on a conversion of a spouse at a later time is .......... well, ludicrous.
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this is very true... a lot of my friends who are dating outside their faith simply say, "It's not an issue in our relationship. We appreciate each other's religion, and agree to disagree." But at some point, it eventually becomes an issue... it's better to deal with it BEFORE you make a commitment to be with that person for the rest of your life.

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[quote name='scardella' date='Nov 7 2005, 11:51 PM']Why does it seem like more women who are into their faith seem more willing to date lax/nonCatholics than guys who are into their faith?
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I think a lot of that depends on what you've been exposed to.

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When I was Protestant, I was taught and firmly believed that it was decided;y wrong to date someone you shouldn't marry, and that we shouldn't date anyone whose various doctrinal views and moral standards weren't very similar to ours (translation: better hope there's someone for you in your local congregation). I wouldn't have dated a Catholic then. Or an Orthodox, Episcopalian, or Lutheran. And it was doubtful I'd ever date a Presbyterian or a Methodist. Basically, any pedobaptists (baby baptizers) were off my list. Goodness, most Baptists and Pentecostals wouldn't have made my cut either.

Anyways, now I cannot imagine dating anyone who isn't seriously, faithfully Catholic. God may direct some people to date other sorts of Christians, it's not forbidden, but it makes me uncomfortable.....


And btw, I know a lot of great Catholic guys, and very few of them have girlfriends, there's no justice in the dating world.

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photosynthesis

[quote name='tomasio127' date='Nov 8 2005, 01:00 AM']And btw, I know a lot of great Catholic guys, and very few of them have girlfriends, there's no justice in the dating world.
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Most of the great Catholic guys around here are discerning the priesthood... and that's great! we need more priests!

but the older you get the smaller the dating pool gets. :mellow: About 5 of my friends are already engaged, and a lot of them have already gotten married, and most of us are fresh out of college (well, except me--i finish college in 5 weeks).

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[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Nov 8 2005, 01:18 AM']Most of the great Catholic guys around here are discerning the priesthood...  and that's great!  we need more priests!

but the older you get the smaller the dating pool gets.  :mellow:  About 5 of my friends are already engaged, and a lot of them have already gotten married, and most of us are fresh out of college (well, except me--i finish college in 5 weeks).
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True, age is a factor. The guys I'm referring to are in college now. That's why I know them... since I am too.

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[quote name='tomasio127' date='Nov 8 2005, 01:00 AM']When I was Protestant, I was taught and firmly believed that it was decided;y wrong to date someone you shouldn't marry.
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Isn't it still true that you really shouldn't be dating someone seriously that you [b]know[/b] wouldn't be a possible marriage candidate?

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