children in mass

[mommyof2]

I am in the process of conversion and my 2 children make it nearly impossiable for me or anyone else to pay attention. I am almost to the point that i don't even see the point in going.Do baptized children act this way....and if so what do I do?

[philothea]

I haven't noticed baptized children being especially angelic at mass.

I am sure it's very hard. I guess your parish doesn't have a crying room? Generally, I see families with hard-to-control children sit near an exit, and when they little ones get too distracting, they step out for a bit.

Don't stop going, though. People can put up with a little disturbance. (I assume they're not actually doing any harm, just noisy?) It'll pass in time, and it is good for you all to be there.

to Phatmass!

[homeschoolmom]

How old are they? We had the same trouble a couple of years ago with my then five year old and one year old sons. Our eight year old was pretty good, but the boys!! The more they understand the better. And our youngest... well, we have a nursery-- THANK GOODNESS!

I've found that sitting closer up seems to help. They can see what's going on (and maybe being so close to Father makes them sit a little stiller??)

[Sojourner]

Depending on your children's ages, I've known parents who had "quiet books" -- felt activity books that their kids could play with during church.

[homeschoolmom]

My friend has a daughter the same age as my son (2 yr old). Her daughter (generally) sits on mommy's lap quietly during mass. I have not found my son to be so cooperative. He would prefer to do just about anything else. Fortunately, our parish has a nursery and I make regular use of it. There wasn't nursery on All Saints' Day and it was a reminder to me how thankful I am for that service. If you don't have a nursery, perhaps you could find another couple in a similar situation and do a swap. Walking the halls with two toddlers is just about as easy as one.

[Cre8d4Youth]

I don't think there are many parents out there that have not dealt with this! Personally speaking, we have four children ranging from 8 down to 8 wks. My eight year old behaves for the most part. My biggest issue with him is that he slouches horribly and pays little attention during the Consecration. I don't expect him to fully understand what is going on, and maybe I'm too hard on him, but we "discuss" this wekkly! LOL

My 5 year old has CCD during Mass...blessing!

My two y/o is a completely different story. My daughter has taken on the most stubborn aspects of both parents. Her mother's Polish pride and my Irish arrogence has made for the most pigheaded little girls I've ever dealt with! I tend to enjoy sitting towards the front. No longer. Samantha persists in yelling "HI Dad!" to our priest, at ALL inoppurtune moments. She will attempt to walk the aisles and protest loudly when I stop her. We have a nursery. I am well versed in the "drop em off and let em cry it out" approach. But the times that I've done that, I found my daughter crouched by the door after Mass, tears still flowing freely, and face a complete mess, and two, less than interested HS ladies, chatting it up about the events of the preceding week. I was less than pleased. Their job (and yeah, they get paid) is to not only make sure my kid stays alive, but has a relatively pleasant time in there. I wouldn't want to deal with fussy kids either, but then again, if that's the case, I wouldn't work in the nursery. grrrr.....

So...on to the point...my wife and I split Mass "duty." I take the three boys w/ me to Mass, and then my wife goes to the following service alone. It smells of elderberries royally (especially since I left my former church for the fact that we could not worship together there...) but I figure it will last until this seperation anxiett fades in little Sam. Also, I've been told by persons surrounding us, that Sammie is not nearly as big a distraction as I perceive. That we, as parents catch every little thing, and most ppl, unless your kid is screaming or tearing up the hymnals, aren't nearly as frustrating to everyone else. Indeed a cell phone in the middle of Mass will cause Father to give a displeased glance in the offender's direction, yet I have never seen him give an upleasent glare at an unweildy child or parent of said child.


Maybe it all centers around "Let the little children come unto me."

hmmm...ya think those kids on Christ's lap interrupted Him too? :

[mommyof2]

Thank you all so much for your help!

[Didacus]

[quote name='philothea' date='Nov 2 2005, 08:35 PM']I haven't noticed baptized children being especially angelic at mass. 

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to Phatmass!
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Now that's the truth if ever I heard it.

1. sitting near na exit is something I did often with my oldest.

2. Don't stop going on their childish account - or they'll win and think they're the boss instead of you. That goes for anywhere else, not just church.

3. Don't let people surrounding make you feel uncomfortable. i was told several unpleasant comments at the end of church at times because of my children, and they hurt but that won't stop me from getting close to the altar of the Lord!

4. Don't punish them... this is just na opinioin, and may not be the best advice. But if you punish them, they may get the wrong message. Take them aside, talk to them and make them understand that this is more than just listening like at listening at school. if you punish them, they will get angry, not just towards you, but maybe towards the church, the priest and maybe God?


OK, that's all I have. As you can see, I've had my share of troubles, but we 9me and my chick) are pushing forward and things are getting better as the children grow older. And since we always pushed it, as they get older they tend to believe the importance behind it all and it gets much much easier after that.


didcaus corp. admires your determination and gives all the best wishes along with a genuine free T-shirt!

[homeschoolmom]

My 6 year old has CCD during mass, too. Yep, that's a blessing.

I agree about the punishing... I wouldn't do it. Nothing like sitting in the car on the way to worship Jesus thinking, "If I screw up, I'm getting it..."

[Dreamweaver]

I've heard a few priests thanking the parents if they have noisy kids during Mass, since those are children that haven't been aborted. Children are a blessing.

Maybe you could pick up some childrens books at a local Catholic bookstore? Even simple picture books on Jesus or the Mass may help the child keep their interest better.

[homeschoolmom]

I've always thought that a sort of "find it" kind of game would be effective. If you went to the church when it was empty and took photos of various items: the ambo, the stained glass, statues, even the priests. Ask if you could take pictures of the various vessels up close. Put them together in a book for your child to look at. I know there are books like this, but I think it would be cool to have the exact things from your parish.

[PedroX]

I don't have kids, so maybe I shouldn't answer, but...

I don't usually find kids distracting. Most kids will blurt out words from time to time, or drop books, or stand on pews and fall off them...Thats fine. The only time it distracts and then irritates me is when the kid has a prolonged crying fit and the parents seem to just sit there.

All that being said, I am a big believer in having kids in Mass with us. Christ said "Let the little children come unto me", and the Bible is full of refrences to the church as Family. How can we be family if we are constantly segregating ourselves according to age?

Bring your kids to Mass. Pray for the strength to be a good parent, and Take them out for a few minutes if they scream non-stop. Look for me. I'll be the one standing on the porch smoking and making faces at the kids.

peace...

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='PedroX' date='Nov 5 2005, 09:18 AM']Bring your kids to Mass.  Pray for the strength to be a good parent, and Take them out for a few minutes if they scream non-stop.  Look for me.  I'll be the one standing on the porch smoking and making faces at the kids.[right][snapback]779482[/snapback][/right]
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Yes, you would be... I can just hear it someday "Mommy, why is Fr. PedroX doing... DRUGS!!"

(When we went to visit Sojourner and PedroX a couple of years ago, my daughter asked me that... she must have thought Pedro was smoking a joint... 'cept she called him "that man")

Thanks for your imput, Pedro. I agree that crying and other loud noises need to evacuate. Even happy noises. Hstot has taken to shouting "La-lay-loo-la!!" but not during mass yet....

[ofpheritup]

Sorry I don't have any advice. But this is "new" to me.
In our family there were 8 children we never misbehaved in church.
It was not tolerated. Our church had a nursery my mother refused to use it. I nerver used it for my daughter. PERSONALLY I DON'T BELIEVE IN THEM. Your children won't learn to behave in Mass if they are not there.

Wait a minute I may have some help.

Depending on how many you have and how old they are.....
my mom "sandwiched" the older in with the younger. So that we
each had one we were "responsible" for.

I think also what might have helped is that we sat in the FRONT of the church. There is some psychology to not wanting to act up in front of an audience. At least there was with us.

I think church is a great place to learn manners. Our parents had the expectation that "God gave you life, you can give Him an hour."

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='ofpheritup' date='Nov 6 2005, 11:48 AM']Sorry I don't have any advice. But this is "new" to me.
In our family there were 8 children we never misbehaved in church.
It was not tolerated.  Our church had a nursery my mother refused to use it.  I nerver used it for my daughter. PERSONALLY I DON'T BELIEVE IN THEM. Your children won't learn to behave in Mass if they are not there.
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Are you aware that capital letters is considered shouting and considered rude?