Fed Up!

[the_rev]

I am sick of life.

No one cares about me, not even my family.

My mother calls me a dumb bas.... She says to me she doesn't know what she did to deserve a child like me, she tells me that she can't wait til I move out, and that it will be heaven (if only she believed in heaven.)

My grandmother, the reason why I am catholic, go to daily mass, etc. today called me a gungho religious freak that thinks everything should be catholic and can't adjust to the modern world.

My father didn't get a monkey's rear end about me. He's dead anyways, so why does it matter.

My co workers tell me I'm gay, they I have sex with guys everynight, they harrass me the entire time I work, from 5-9. They tell me I'm a loser, that i"m no good, that I'm never going to get married, and that I will be gay because I'm gay now.

I am not gay, I have an attraction to women. I would love to join that special person in marriage one day.

My mother has now forbidden me to go to church except in my home town, and to only talk to my parish priest.

My parish priest thinks I am an neo-natzi traditionalist, who likes to get people in trouble, who is to Catholic, and to involved in the faith and has no life.

That is right phamily, I have no life but the Church, however am I called to be in union with the church as a holy minister of the faith. Who knows.

My faith has been dwindling for the longest time, when I first began to go to the Latin Mass my faith came back, but now it is at an all time low.

I think I am in a state of depression.

I wonder what it would be like if I was not here.

People wouldn't have anyone to pick on. People wouldn't have someone to call a child molester and gay. My mother wouldn't have to put up with me.

However I live for God. God has a reason why he has so many people hate me. I don't know though.

I try to live for God, but does God live for me.

Please pray for me phamily, I don't know what is wrong with me.

Please pray, I am absolutly fed up with my life, my life of neglect, abuse, and a life of people hating me.

Yours in Christ,

Eddie Lee

[the_rev]

I only have one friend at school, and really you can't call him a firend. we don't do much outside of school, we went to a haunted trail in our town one day and he cleaned out my car once because he told me that he thought it was messy.

I really have no good friends because who would want to be a friend with me. I'm just a loser. A loser who lives for one he doesn't know.

[the_rev]

Continuing to rant....

My liberal pastor continues to have any good thing in my life come to an end. The Legion was a postitive influence in my life. Now I can't even see Fr. Robert because Fr. Dave told me mother that the Legion was to conservative and they'd brainwash to become a priest for their order.

He also hates the latin mass, and seems he put an end to that too. Since my mother said that since I've been going to that mass I have become more spiritual and she hates that and told me she doesn't think i should go down anymore.

However she doesn't really love me, so I should be able to go if she's off because why would she want me around the house.

[Christie_M]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time.
I hope things will get better.
much prayers.

[hopeful1]

*hugs for eddie*

[the_rev]

I was beginning to make friends at the Latin Mass too. One family invited me over for dinner three times.

FuturSoror's brother and I went to a haunted house, i guess you could say we're friends.

My mother told me that the Latin Mass people (along with myself) thing we're better than everybody else or something. Because that is what Fr. Dave told them.

[blovedwolfofgod]

harsh life man. but im kinda jealous of you. look at the beatitudes. you get all that. you are persecuted for Christ. man, you have been honored.

but i will pray that things get better for you.

[Theoketos]

You are such an amazing person. God is really purifing your soul. I could not do what you do.

[morostheos]

Some things to keep in mind:

"In tribulation immediately draw near to God with confidence, and you will receive strength, enlightenment, and instruction." - St. John of the Cross

"Christians are no diferent from the rest in their nationality, language or customs. ... They live in their own countries, but as sojourners. They fulfill all their duties as citizens, but they suffer as foreigners. They find their homeland wherever they are, but their homeland is not in any one place... They are in the flesh, but do not live according to the flesh. They live on earth, but are citizens of heaven. They obey all laws, but they live at a level higher than required by law. They love all, but all persecute them." ~ Letter to Diognetus (sorry I forget who wrote the letter...)

[Cow of Shame]

[quote name='the_rev' date='Oct 30 2005, 10:32 PM']My co workers tell me I'm gay, they I have sex with guys everynight, they harrass me the entire time I work, from 5-9. 
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Where do you work? Can you take this up with management? Regardless of the content of the harassment, no one deserves such treatment from coworkers.

[the_rev]

the harrassment comes directly from the manager and assitant manager along with employees.

[Proud2BCatholic139]

Remember, God is with you!!!
Think of Jesus being persecuted. That's what I do, when carp happens to me.
Offer up to the poor souls in purgatory, your reward will be great in Heaven.
God loves you, and you are loved.

[Cow of Shame]

[quote name='the_rev' date='Oct 31 2005, 07:19 AM']the harrassment comes directly from the manager and assitant manager along with employees.
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work your way up the food chain, then. Document things, write down what is said & when...and go above their heads. Is there a human resource department?

Plus, I would start shopping around for a different job & quit asap. I don't think running away from your problems is typically a good solution, but it also doesn't sound like you need the additional stress.

[Nathan]

Great things await you, Eddie. I can tell. I only wish I had your mind when I was 16.

If things are really as bad as they sound, remember that you only have a couple more years to go before you're an adult. And then you can do whatever you want, on your own, regardless of what anyone around you thinks -- this includes jumping on a bus, train, or plane and joining an Order.

You're so young, with such a bright future ahead of you. Keep your head up.

[doc]

[quote name='the_rev' date='Oct 31 2005, 01:01 AM']I was beginning to make friends at the Latin Mass too.  One family invited me over for dinner three times.

FuturSoror's brother and I went to a haunted house, i guess you could say we're friends.

My mother told me that the Latin Mass people (along with myself) thing we're better than everybody else or something.  Because that is what Fr. Dave told them.
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Hey Rev!!

Jesus said "let the childrem come to me!" but i have been noticing that they are not encouraging you at all, but you know what. Jesus is, He is right there with you. He will never leave you, He will never forget you, He is always right there where you go. You should read this scripture in the bible if you can and its in Joshua 1: 5 - "No one can withstand you while you live. I will be with you as I was with Moses: I will not leave you nor forsake you. " Ant to tell you the truth, about the Priest telling you not to go to latin mass, is terrible, in reality the mass in all the same in all laguages, and i believe if you go to mass is to get together with Living Jesus! So dont let that hold you back, if you want to get closer to God, you do it, because all what I have read are indications that you keep going for GOD, not for people. So dont give up, pray with your heart. Imitate Jesus, He was spit upon, He was whipped, He was crucified, and He did it for you! So dont worry at all, the high tide will pass. :