marielapin Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 Actually, I thought married couples have more sex than unmarried couples. I have a friend that co-habitates, but I really don't know why. She is clearly being used, her boyfriend has no real commitment, they plan on getting married "someday". I personally don't see what will be any different when they are married. This person thinks its ok because her parents did it, not only that but they snuck around and did it. So they are openly living together because they know their parents would be hypocrites if they said it was wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 i dunno... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 Actually, I thought married couples have more sex than unmarried couples. I have a friend that co-habitates, but I really don't know why. She is clearly being used, her boyfriend has no real commitment, they plan on getting married "someday". I personally don't see what will be any different when they are married. This person thinks its ok because her parents did it, not only that but they snuck around and did it. So they are openly living together because they know their parents would be hypocrites if they said it was wrong. I'm sure people thought the same of my husband and I. That we had no "real" commitment to each other, that we would never get married, blah blah blah. I'm sure my parents thought he was just using me. We lived together for 3 years before we got married. Do I wish, now, that we hadn't? Yeah. But what are ya gonna do? Live and learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 i guess that's what i wanted to say lil' red. living together b4 marraige is bad, but i'm not ready to say that it's impossible for people who do so to stay together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicAndFanatical Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 I've been there done that..I was with my kids mom for 7 years, why I never married her is beyond me..kick myself everyday for it. Had I of been Catholic at the time of meeting her I dont think I would of, but in my case there was nothing wrong with it in my mind because I had no one telling me it was wrong, course she was Catholic but had kinda fallen away..weee my life is screwy. But anyway, I had no point to this..well I kinda did, but lost it after the 'weee' part of the post. So, God bless everyone. CatholicAndFanatical Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 i guess that's what i wanted to say lil' red. living together b4 marraige is bad, but i'm not ready to say that it's impossible for people who do so to stay together. exactly! We don't know if people are going to get married or not. Maybe they think living together is the best thing for them to do. We don't know their hearts. I'm just trying to say that marriage is hard enough as it is. I didn't really want to read that article (after I found out what was about) because, you know, marriage is hard enough without all the statistics. And we can't tell someone that they are doomed to fail just because they did something they shouldn't have. All of us have made mistakes, and I'm sure that my parents' prayers for us had a lot to do with my hubby and I finally making a commitment to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankcdnj Posted December 6, 2003 Author Share Posted December 6, 2003 Here is the link that states cohabitating couples have more sex than married. It is the last point Cohabitant Vs. Married http://216.239.41.104/search?q=cache:n2NQZ...&hl=en&ie=UTF-8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 Living in sin ( what we used to call it) simply means I will have sex with you exclusively until I find somebody else to have sex with exclusively. Without a commitment, there is simply sin. People have had successful marriages after living in sin, but it is much harder. Relationship patterns are set up without committment do not easily turn into relationship patterns OF committment. If you are having sex with someone before marriage , chances are you are not paying attention to all the other things that are needed in a good relationship. You are probably also using contraception which is a basic denial of the marriage act, although sex is probably the reasoning you are living together in the first place. Contraception teaches men to treat women as objects of pleasure, rather than a partner given to them by God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankcdnj Posted December 6, 2003 Author Share Posted December 6, 2003 (edited) Very well put! I do believe that people who are having sex outside of marriage are blinded by the physical pleasure rather than using there intellect. We have to accept the ideal that sex is a beautiful gift from the Lord to show your love for your SPOUSE but it has to be done in the right context. Personally, I think sex in a dating relationship cheapens/lessens the commitment between the two. I myself would have to wonder if I was in that situation, if I loved her or what she is giving me. Like everything else in life you have to follow the proper path to attain the goal. Edited December 6, 2003 by Frankcdnj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilroy the Ninja Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 Lil Red - I believe that a marriage can work after cohabitation - particularly if that marriage is in the Church. Frank was just pointing out the statics he found and my situation happened to agree with those statistics. It's wonderful that your situation has turned into the real deal. Please don't take offense at his post as I'm sure it was not directed at you personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankcdnj Posted December 6, 2003 Author Share Posted December 6, 2003 Lil Red, I did not start this thread to offend anyone. I wanted to show some of the younger forum members that it may not be a good idea. And as the statistics show the overwhelming majority of cohabitant relationships do not end in marriage. I have to nieces who lived with there boyfriends and they never married those they lived with. Be grateful that you are an exception to the norm and be happy! So, do not take offense to this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankcdnj Posted December 6, 2003 Author Share Posted December 6, 2003 More stats: Eight years. If you do manage to marry somebody, close your eyes, shut your mouth, and hang around for eight years. Statistically, marriages that last eight years have a terrific chance of lasting a lifetime. Two parents. . . marriages with children have a much higher success rate than childless ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 not everyone who isn't lucky enough to be heterosexual, married, and catholic is necessarily running around mindlessly mounting things/people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God Conquers Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 Here is the link that states cohabitating couples have more sex than married. It is the last point Cohabitant Vs. Married http://216.239.41.104/search?q=cache:n2NQZ...&hl=en&ie=UTF-8 I can't take seriously a website with such enormous multicolored fonts and no footnotes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmjtina Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 Living in sin ( what we used to call it) simply means I will have sex with you exclusively until I find somebody else to have sex with exclusively. Without a commitment, there is simply sin. People have had successful marriages after living in sin, but it is much harder. Relationship patterns are set up without committment do not easily turn into relationship patterns OF committment. If you are having sex with someone before marriage , chances are you are not paying attention to all the other things that are needed in a good relationship. You are probably also using contraception which is a basic denial of the marriage act, although sex is probably the reasoning you are living together in the first place. Contraception teaches men to treat women as objects of pleasure, rather than a partner given to them by God. Living in sin is still what it is. I have friends who are now getting married in the Church now and that is much prayer that has been answered. We are not judging them, but making them aware that by living in sin is wrong. I love my friends so much and at first they took a HUGE offense. Now, they are getting married in the Church. They will have the blessings and graces from the Church. God is good and merciful but hurt feelings will not stop me from helping my friends get to heaven. and it's a two way street, we help each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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