Results Of A Sex Survey

[jasJis]

We're usually sinners, sometimes are saints.

Even Saints are perfect!

Sincere repentance for sin and asking God for forgiveness seperates us from our sin as East is from West. No mistake has to be lifelong during this lifetime.

[Frankcdnj]

Marielapin, PedroX, Norseman82, Ash Wednesday:

I am getting gray, and before you know it I will have the problems that women mentioned. Then I will not be able to father a child. But at this point I do think being a father is too late.

As far as if the 5% virgin spouse, I meant it was 5% for men and less than 5% for women since they are pressured for sex. I have never been pressured for sex, now maybe that is bad and good. I have definitely been tempted numerous times.

I did recently meet a nice woman, and it is a long story but it was Love At First Sight for the both of us. Believe me LAFS exists and is being recognized more and more by the medical community. She works for a TV station. And I happened to walk in just to check out the studio. The first time I saw her in Sept 03 we had more than normal eye contact. Honestly when I saw her I wrote her off as a dream because she was nice looking. I am attractive but no Brad Pitt. But I still went in for the next 5 weeks to see the live show. Each time I stopped in we made eye contact. Then the 5 week I see her tell one of the hosts on the show that she likes me. I did not do anything. The next week she approaches me and stands there so I would speak with her. We chatted and the smile on her face was like she had hit the lottery. Then I left. It was two weeks before I saw her again and when she saw me she had a disappointed look on her face. She would barely make eye contact. Then her co-worker came and got her and she turned her back to me. I have not gone in since. I really believe I blew it. But I think of her daily maybe twice a day. I have never ever had that feeling like I did when I first saw her, ever.

And I still wonder if she was the answer to my prayers, since I had been praying to St. Raphael for about a month prior to seeing her. Plus, also saying the Blessed Anna Marie Taiga prayer. And I am continuing with the prayers. To this day she never got my name. I know hers and I pray that she will give me another opprtunity if I ever see her again. Honestly, I had more feelings for her than for women after I dated them for months.

Also, I have seen the Revolution of Love website. I tried emailing them about my experience but the feedback form is not working.

As to whether or not she was to be my wife, I do not know. But I honestly feel I could be her husband. Maybe we will have another chance or the Man upstairs will send me another partner.

Yes, chastity does have a glow about it. If she was a virgin I have zero clue but even if she wasn't the way I feel about her would make it fine. And am I lowering my standards overall I will have to give it more thought. I do know I am running out of time. Desperation is starting to set in.

A priest sent me this:

It's always advisable to date only the kind of person that you would want to marry, as they are now, regardless of their past indiscretions and even sin.

Edited December 5, 2003 by Frankcdnj

[Frankcdnj]

Did everyone read my last post in this thread?

[Norseman82]

i don't think the fact that sopmeone isn't a virgin should be reason enough to not date/marry them.

For me its a simple matter.

If I have to be, my wife has to be.

I'm giving 100%; I want 100% in return.

Anything less is an insult to my efforts and long wait.

[Norseman82]

In fact I was discussing this with a Catholic woman and she said "do you have a male problem" meaning I am not able to function sexually. 

I have three (somewhat sarcastic) responses you could use the next time someone says that to you; one each long, medium, and short length:

Long: "What's the matter, am I the first person you've met that's not a fornicating bum?" (indicates not everyone is sexually active)

Medium: "What kind of Catholic attitude is that?" (reminding her of Catholic morality)

Short: "Check please!!"

[Norseman82]

I am getting gray,  and before you know it I will have the problems that women mentioned.  Then I will not be able to father a child.  But at this point I do think being a father is too late. 

?????

Getting gray can happen as early as your 30s and may not happen until after 50, so that doesn't indicate how old you are.

But as far as not being able to father a child, barring a physical problem like prostate cancer whose treatment may leave men impotent, men are not like women where they run out of sperm after a male equivalent of menopause. If anyone doesn't believe me, I just have two words for you: Strom Thurmond (the late South Carolina senator who fathered a child after the age of 70. And NO, that's NOT why he is now deceased!!).

I have another friend who didn't become a father until his mid-40s.

Or is it that you don't think you have the fullness of strength to deal with children?

I did recently meet a nice woman, and it is a long story but it was Love At First Sight for the both of us.  Believe me LAFS exists and is being recognized more and more by the medical community. She works for a TV station. And I happened to walk in just to check out the studio. The first time I saw her in Sept 03 we had more than normal eye contact.  Honestly when I saw her I wrote her off as a dream because she was nice looking.  I am attractive but no Brad Pitt.  But I still went in for the next 5 weeks to see the live show.  Each time I stopped in we made eye contact.  Then the 5 week I see her tell one of the hosts on the show that she likes me.  I did not do anything.  The next week she approaches me and stands there so I would speak with her. We chatted and the smile on her face was like she had hit the lottery.  Then I left.  It was two weeks before I saw her again and when she saw me she had a disappointed look on her face. She would barely make eye contact. Then her co-worker came and got her and she turned her back to me.  I have not gone in since.  I really believe I blew it. But I think of her daily maybe twice a day.  I have never ever had that feeling like I did when I first saw her, ever.

I understand where you are coming from, because I too freeze. Maybe it's because I am too used to being alone that I don't know anything else.

Desperation is starting to set in.

That's a danger sign, as it indicates you may make a rash decision, and that could be the recipe for an unhappy marriage that may not last long. You need to keep your wits about you, as this is the most important decision of your life (after your committment to Christ).

What part of the country do you live in? (maybe hopeful1 or one of the other Phatmass virgin females lives near you and the two of you might hit it off). (As for me, I live in Chicago).

Edited December 6, 2003 by Norseman82

[Frankcdnj]

I live right outside of Philadelphia, PA. I know I cannot make a rash decision regarding marriage. But if the feeling is there I should at least give her and the feeling the benefit of the doubt.

Also, I liked your suggestions for the woman who said I could not function sexually. But when we have politicians that cannot keep their pantaloons on it does make it more difficult for the sensible people to get their point across.

Oh, I will not give up hope in finding someone since it is always darkest before the dawn.

Btw, we are to get upwards of a foot of snow today, maybe I will befriend a nice woman while I am shoveling.

Here is the link for the Love at First Sight article:

http://www.newsmax.com/archives/articles/2.../14/83612.shtml

Edited December 6, 2003 by Frankcdnj

[hopeful1]

What part of the country do you live in? (maybe hopeful1 or one of the other Phatmass virgin females lives near you and the two of you might hit it off).  (As for me, I live in Chicago).

WHOAAA! I don't know how old Frankcdnj is, but I'm only 19 and i live on the opposite side of the border. I'm not really looking to get married right now as i am trying to figure out what to do with myself now that i'm in college. that alone probably doesn't make me very good marriage material at the moment, I do wish you the best of luck in trying to find a mate though. I'll pray for you :)

[hopeful1]

i do understand how you feel Frankcdnj, although i'm obiously much younger, sometimes i feel like i have to lower my standards too. I seem to be running into more and more idiots everyday, but then again i live in hick country ( no offense to any of you southerners on phatmass). i especially got discouraged in hs, (and ok i'd be lying if i said don't now) and i didn't know a lot of people who were virgins ( and this was a catholic school). right now my standards are about the same as yours- i hope to someday marry a virgin, especially today where it seems like a miracle in itself, but i'm also willing to date some one thats made a few mistakes. It really just depends on their attitudes and values on sex. i think i mentioned earlier that a friend of mine made a few mistakes when he was younger but he feels guilty about them and wants to save himself now for his wife. that itself was like an epiphany to me cuz i was like "oh my goodness (don't blasphemy) THEY EXIST!!!!" I think i could date someone like that. but if i meet a sex crazed horny guy i'd want to stay far away. I've never been in a relationship, but a big part of that is forgiveness too.

[Frankcdnj]

I like your reply Hopeful1 and I am sure you will meet your prince at the right time. But remember this will be done in God's time. And we have to perservere in our prayer life and also have trust that the Lord will answer our petiotions.

I asked my friend a priest about my situation and this is what he wrote back. See I am looking for a better job as well.

God does answer your prayers, though the response may be wrapped in mystery. Eventually God will fulfill all your needs whether satisfying employment or close companionship. In fact God's final purpose in you is the removal of all unsatisfied needs through a perfect union of love. Remember that prayer is for the person who prays. It cannot change God.

True, you may not receive what you specifically asked for in the way you

expect. Does that mean God is acting cruelly? No, for it may be in all the

complex and interactive chain of specific cause and effect, the particular

thing you desire though seemingly worthy and good, may interfere with God's

final purpose of happiness for you and others. The purest prayer is the one

which seeks God's will for you and that will make you happy. So persevere in

your prayer and trust God!

[God Conquers]

Don't lower your standards. There are amazing guys out there who have waited for you. (well, at least one)

[Norseman82]

Don't lower your standards. There are amazing guys out there who have waited for you. (well, at least one)

I really hope you're directing that to hopeful1 and not Frankcdnj!! :lol:

[God Conquers]

yes, I was.

[hopeful1]

Thanks God Conquers and i haven't given up hope either, i HAVE met amazing guys that are choosing to wait. Theres one in particular that comes ot mind but thats a post fo another day....I also know that there are amesome guys that have seen there mistakes and are choosing to wait for marriage now too. I'm willing to at least forgive them and give them a chance too.

[Norseman82]

God does answer your prayers, though the response may be wrapped in mystery. Eventually God will fulfill all your needs whether satisfying employment or close companionship. In fact God's final purpose in you is the removal of all unsatisfied needs through a perfect union of love.  Remember that prayer is for the person who prays.  It cannot change God.

True, you may not receive what you specifically asked for in the way you

expect.  Does that mean God is acting cruelly?  No, for it may be in all the

complex and interactive chain of specific cause and effect, the particular

thing you desire though seemingly worthy and good, may interfere with God's

final purpose of happiness for you and others.  The purest prayer is the one

which seeks God's will for you and that will make you happy. So persevere in

your prayer and trust God!

The priest is not entirely accurate regarding prayer not changing God. Think of the story of how Abraham asked God to spare the city for the sake of 5 rightuos peopel n Genesis. Also look in a concordance for the word "relent" and find instances of God relenting.

Also, I wonder if the priest is just too lazy and gutless to speak out on the injustices of the dating world. I mean, priests were speaking out in homilies against Timothy McVeigh's execution, so why not some justice for the decent people in the world for a change?

Another thing I wonder regarding this being part of "God's will". What if God's will is for us to gripe about this situation and be a pain in the butt to everybody specifically so that the Church will finally address this situation (like the woman who kept on knocking on the door in the middle of the night in the Gospel story).

What if God plans for one of the current Phatmass members to be Pope someday and he is using this "gripe and moan" session to plant a seed in his heart and mind so that when he does become Pope he will outlaw mixed marriages between virgins and non-virgins?