Norseman82 Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 I have even begun to lower my standards, thinking well no more than 5 sexual partners is ok. DON'T LOWER YOUR STANDARDS!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER IF WE ARE GOING TO RIGHT THIS ROTTEN SITUATION!!! I, for one, need as much backup as I can. marielapin, Thanks for your encouraging words to back us up when many others won't!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PedroX Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 What he tells me is so discouraging it makes me wonder how he has the drive to continue. The prevalence of adultery and fornication is just hard to comprehend according to him. Plus, he stated that the percentage of virgin spouses is under 5% and that a virgin groom is more common. His reason for this is that the women are pressured into sex. Look, situation is bleak, and we do need to do all we can about this, but are you telling me that 95% of all people who get married are not virgins? I have been a social worker for 8 years, have specialized in children and families and I find this number to be against every major study of sexuality out there. As I've said, we have a lot of work to do, but there is no need ot pull a chicken little here and start screaming "the sky is falling". Responsible research is important, hyterics are not. peace... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 and I'm sure contraceptive companies have a BIG problem with abstinence education -- it would put a dent in their profit! I just thought of something..... You know how it is reported how much money politicians receive from the tobacco industry? How can we find out how much money a politician or candidate receives from the contraceptive producers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLAZEr Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 i don't think the fact that sopmeone isn't a virgin should be reason enough to not date/marry them. I don't think anyone is saying that. But I do think many are saying that virginity is a selling point. Kinda like good job, nice teeth, not going bald, devout catholic, never been to prison . . . each of those carries different weight, but Virginity is big on a lot of my friends (guys and girls) list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 I think hyper has a point -- though someone may technically not be a virgin, that does not mean they wouldn't make a suitable spouse. If they regret their past and wish to make a new start and have a "new virginity", we should forgive them "seventy times seven" and praise God for their decision. Virginity is just as much a state of the mind, if not more so than merely being a virgin "technically" by body... I known people though technically were virgins, their purity in mind and habits were highly questionable. Some have that "how much can you get away with" mentality. But don't get discouraged -- there are virtuous people out there. Pray and keep the faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 (edited) I don't think anyone is saying that. But I do think many are saying that virginity is a selling point. Kinda like good job, nice teeth, not going bald, devout catholic, never been to prison . . . each of those carries different weight, but Virginity is big on a lot of my friends (guys and girls) list. and to extrapolate from that, blonde or brunette or redhead tall or short fat or thin established in career or just starting out completed college or completed high school glasses or no glasses And on and on and on. I don't mean to sound bad, but if you have your ideal of the "perfect" mate then you're going to miss out on some cool people. I think Hyper and Ash Wednesday have it right. If you automatically discount someone because they are not a virgin, you are not getting to really know them, and could be missing out on something very special. That being said, there are virtuous people out there. And if that's what you want, well then, go for it. Edited December 5, 2003 by Lil Red Devil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullnaChinaShop Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 Look, situation is bleak, and we do need to do all we can about this, but are you telling me that 95% of all people who get married are not virgins? I have been a social worker for 8 years, have specialized in children and families and I find this number to be against every major study of sexuality out there. As I've said, we have a lot of work to do, but there is no need ot pull a chicken little here and start screaming "the sky is falling". Responsible research is important, hyterics are not. peace... I am not sure but that number may have been referring to marriages where both partners are virgins. Some clarification on what that number is referring to would be nice. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marielapin Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 Just be wary about the virginity being a state of mind thing. A friend of mine just got out of a relationship where his girlfriend told him she was a virgin. So he thought he was her first. Then he finds out that her next boyfriend was told that she was a virgin....long story short, she has been a "virgin" 8 times already, and my friend was either number 3 or 4. If you really get to know the person, you will find out whether they are virgin in their state of mind as well. But only time can tell this. I've also known guys who were virgins but were desperatley trying to un-become one. But they told girls they were in order to attract them. The real way to find out is to ask them why they are a virgin, and if they think it is important to wait until marriage (not engagement) to have sex. I've known several couples that had sex once they were engaged. But this doesn't make sense, because an engagement isn't marriage. My poor friend I mentioned earlier was one of these folks and since he broke off the engagement he is having a hard time getting over her, for he now has a close, personal relationship with her that is difficult for him to break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLAZEr Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 That being said, there are virtuous people out there. And if that's what you want, well then, go for it. Of course you can also go for un-virtuos people, yes liars, thieves, and murderers. Seriously, who in their right mind says "I don't really want a virtuous husband/wife." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 'Seriously, who in their right mind says "I don't really want a virtuous husband/wife."' i do, i think being married to a saint would be hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marielapin Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 'Seriously, who in their right mind says "I don't really want a virtuous husband/wife."' i do, i think being married to a saint would be hell. why would it be hell? sounds like heaven on earth to me. saints are still human you know. they are fun loving, not walking around like they have a rod stuck up their rear end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 Of course you can also go for un-virtuos people, yes liars, thieves, and murderers. Seriously, who in their right mind says "I don't really want a virtuous husband/wife." oops, sorry, Blazer. What I wrote and how you took it are two different things. I meant if he really wants a wife that is a virgin, then he shouldn't give up his standards. That's my bad I didn't write that the right way. My humblest apologies to anyone who took my statement incorrectly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 i am a horrible sinner, i'd start to feel resentment towards my saint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marielapin Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 i am a horrible sinner, i'd start to feel resentment towards my saint. even saints sin. just look at st paul and st augustine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 but i like sinning, the saint would feel revulsion towards sin, and sorrow at having offended god, i feel terror at the idea of going to hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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