Domestic Violence

[Jaime]

nope

Don't hit women.

[scardella]

Ok, since none of you have apparently watched McClintock... here's what happens...

It's set circa 1890 in the western territories. GW McClintock was a cattle baron and owned much of the town of McClintock. His wife had been for the past 2 years separated from her husband. She's been a prima donna out east, but when she is around, she browbeats everyone, particularly Mr. McClintock. In the course of the film, it shows that she sees GW in what she assumes is an amorous relationship, but it isn't. Her self-righteousness is shown to be hollow when it reveals that she's actually having some sort of relationship w/ another man (the governor ot the territory). After McClintock learns of it, he winds up chasing her through town and spanking her publicly. The sentiment was that order in the relationship was restored as well as the relationship itself.

Comments?

BTW, I think we need a clearer understanding of what y'all mean by "domestic violence." Are we talking about beating your wife b/c she complains about something (bruises, broken bones, bloody)? Any sort of physical correction (ie slap on wrist, spanking)? Does self-defense count? It seems like you might include any or all in the understanding of "domestic violence."

Edited October 25, 2005 by scardella

[ofpheritup]

[quote name='Myles' date='Oct 24 2005, 03:02 PM']If the chances of proportionate force are nil then either get out of the way or take it like a man--indeed the former would be my advice even if she were coming at you with a kitchen knife.
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My friend tried that, he tried getting out of the way,
so she stabbed him in the back. He is dead and she is in prison.
The children are now living with their grandparents.

Forgive me I need to ask, any other bright ideas?

Take it like a man? What the CENSORED does that mean?

Violence is Violence....Hello are we on here?

Men can and do die as easily as women. Why is it that we seem to value (protect) women more? We are a nation of hypocrites. This is why society is as screwed up as it is, there are two sets of rules. Men don't seem to stand a chance.

Edited October 25, 2005 by ofpheritup

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='scardella' date='Oct 25 2005, 11:04 AM']Ok, since none of you have apparently watched McClintock... here's what happens...

It's set circa 1890 in the western territories.  GW McClintock was a cattle baron and owned much of the town of McClintock.  His wife had been for the past 2 years separated from her husband.  She's been a prima donna out east, but when she is around, she browbeats everyone, particularly Mr. McClintock.  In the course of the film, it shows that she sees GW in what she assumes is an amorous relationship, but it isn't.  Her self-righteousness is shown to be hollow when it reveals that she's actually having some sort of relationship w/ another man (the governor ot the territory).  After McClintock learns of it, he winds up chasing her through town and spanking her publicly.  The sentiment was that order in the relationship was restored as well as the relationship itself.

Comments?
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several different comments.
-I love that movie.
-there is a line between rough play and violence in a relationship. the line must be well defined.
-some women [and some men] deliberately provoke a fight which results in a physical altercation, then play victim.
-My ex-husband tried to hit me. twice. Both times I put him into a wall. we were not playing and it was a breaking point in our relationship.

Edited October 25, 2005 by cmotherofpirl

[toledo_jesus]

[quote name='ofpheritup' date='Oct 25 2005, 12:58 PM']My friend tried that, he tried getting out of the way,
so she stabbed him in the back. He is dead and she is in prison.
The children are now living with their grandparents.

Forgive me I need  to ask, any other bright ideas?

Take it like a man? What the CENSORED  does that mean?

Violence is Violence....Hello are we on here?

Men can and do die as easily as women. Why is it that we seem to value (protect)  women more?  We are a nation of hypocrites.  This is why society is as screwed up as it is, there are two sets of rules.  Men don't seem to stand a chance.
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exactly. Women can use deadly force.

In fact, female police shoot more often than male. Wanna know why? there is something called intermediate force, and women are less able to use it. It is harder for a woman to subdue a 200 pound man, and so she is more apt to use her gun. go figure.

If a woman is coming at you with a knife, you don't "take it like a man." That's suicide, in my opinion. You hit her in her face until she goes down or until she gets you.

That being said, I do think that women need to be protected. However, if a woman is a danger to you, then you don't need to protect her...protect yourself.

Do we need to talk about Lorena Bobbitt?

[scardella]

First, some defining of terms (as I see them)
hurt - cause minor pain, but not permanent/severe damage; example: slap on wrist, spanking, paper cut, stub toe, etc.
injure - permanent or severe damage; example: break bones, bruising, bleeding, etc.
violence - deliberate acts causing or intending to cause injury or death. example: Real punching/kicking, stabbing, shooting, etc.

Is this accurate for our discussion?

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Oct 25 2005, 03:49 PM']several different comments.
-I love that movie.[/quote]

Agreed. John Wayne is better than Superman.

[quote]-there is a  line between rough play and violence in a relationship.  the line must be  well defined.
-some women [and some men] deliberately provoke a fight which results in a physical altercation, then play victim.
-My ex-husband tried to hit me. twice. Both times I put him into a wall. we were not playing and it was a breaking point in our relationship.
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I'm sorry about the way your ex-husband treated you

It would seem more like his actions were disciplinary in addition to any sort of "rough play" that was intended.

[toledo_jesus]

[quote name='scardella' date='Oct 25 2005, 05:57 PM']It would seem more like his actions were disciplinary in addition to any sort of "rough play" that was intended.
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probably not.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='scardella' date='Oct 25 2005, 05:57 PM']First, some defining of terms (as I see them)
hurt - cause minor pain, but not permanent/severe damage; example: slap on wrist, spanking, paper cut, stub toe, etc.
injure -  permanent or severe damage; example: break bones, bruising, bleeding, etc.
violence - deliberate acts causing or intending to cause injury or death.  example: Real punching/kicking, stabbing, shooting, etc.

Is this accurate for our discussion?
Agreed.  John Wayne is better than Superman.
I'm sorry about the way your ex-husband treated you

It would seem more like his actions were disciplinary in addition to any sort of "rough play" that was intended.
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Yes, John Wayne was making a point, cause Maureen O'Hara was pushing to get a response. It cleared the air and restored the balance in their relationship.

My ex-husband was sorry as well, because I flipped him into the wall.
He never tried that again.

Edited October 25, 2005 by cmotherofpirl

[scardella]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Oct 25 2005, 06:32 PM']My ex-husband was sorry as well, because I flipped him into the wall.
He never tried that again.
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Maybe you should be the ninja, not Kilroy...

[Dreamweaver]

I voted no, thinking in terms of domestic abuse and such. If things went crazy and a spouse had hit or otherwise restrain their partner for self defense, they'd be justified, but I'd consider that a different category, not merely "hitting".

Here's another situation. What if the hitting is consentual and thats how the couple gets "their kicks"? There are some odd people out there. If its consentual, is it justified?

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Dreamweaver' date='Oct 26 2005, 11:37 AM']I voted no, thinking in terms of domestic abuse and such. If things went crazy and a spouse had hit or otherwise restrain their partner for self defense, they'd be justified, but I'd consider that a different category, not merely "hitting".

Here's another situation. What if the hitting is consentual and thats how the couple gets "their kicks"?  There are some odd people out there. If its consentual, is it justified?
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Some people do indulgence in 'rough play'. As long as its consenual, and not actually injurying each other, AND they have a safe word, its up to them.

[scardella]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Oct 27 2005, 09:00 AM']AND they have a safe word, its up to them.
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What's a safe word?

[cmotherofpirl]

A SAFE word means take me seriously immediately. So if your boyfriends [ or girlfriend or spouse ] is tickling you, teasing you etc and you have reached your limit or something hurts etc you say the safe word [ whatever word you have previously chosen and agreed upon] and the action stops immediately. Its not something to tease with, if you seriously don't want them to stop, you don't use it.
its an emergency word.
Its also useful with children who tussle and wrestle etc, its like saying [i]uncle!![/i]

[scardella]

Does it have to be capitalized?

Thanks for the info, though. *takes notes* *decides it's a good idea* *wonders when he'll be in a situation that needs a SAFE word*

Edited October 27, 2005 by scardella

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='scardella' date='Oct 27 2005, 12:06 PM']Does it have to be capitalized?

Thanks for the info, though.  *takes notes* *decides it's a good idea*  *wonders when he'll be in a situation that needs a SAFE word*
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nope it doesn't have to be capitalized