Socrates Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 (edited) [quote name='photosynthesis' date='Oct 17 2005, 09:29 PM']what's that supposed to mean? does being raped make you ill-prepared for marriage? [right][snapback]761898[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Sorry, that's not what I meant to imply. I was merely saying that going through a lot of bad experiences with the opposite sex is not necessarily going to make for a healthier marriage, than if one is "naive." I honestly have no idea what this is like, but I imagine going through that would make relating to the male sex in a postive way somewhat more difficult. Edited October 18, 2005 by Socrates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photosynthesis Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 [quote name='Socrates' date='Oct 17 2005, 10:33 PM']Sorry, that's not what I meant to imply. [right][snapback]761905[/snapback][/right] [/quote] OK, good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God Conquers Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 haha... thing is, I never said it was a typical thing. I don't even think it's common. ANyways... I don't know where this is going. I just guess I see so many youngin's getting married and wonder wether it's always a good thing... even if they're good Catholics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photosynthesis Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 if it were 100 years ago, people wouldn't even have threads debating this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photosynthesis Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 well, I guess they wouldn't have internet message boards either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aloysius Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 I suppose not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
termitescoming4u! Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 well, I'm not an expert on this. but I will suggest that you shouldn't get married while still in College so that you have ample time to figure out who you really want to marry, so that the marriage will last long and you won't have a need to divorce your spouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aloysius Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 that stems from the eroneous view that there is only one person out there who is the best for you... if that were really true, I wouldn't get married until I had tried all 3 billion of the opposite sex on this world out first. it is not true. any man and woman can make it in this crazy mixed up world. love is an act of the will. the reason it is such a difficult act of the will is because it is where human beings make a sort of angelic decision. our bodies are clearly designed for young marriage. so long as you believe sex is for marriage, you have to notice how early we are ready for sex and figure that (while it shouldn't be immediate) natural law would indicate the most natural state of man would be to get married as soon as possible after that readiness for sex. God didn't create us to have a large gap of 10 to 20 years between when we are ready for sex and when we can morally have it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photosynthesis Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 The minimum age for a guy to get married in the Church is 16, and for a woman, 14. In the U.S. it varies from state to state. but for most people it's 18. Plus, as Al said, our bodies ARE designed to marry young. Many couples in their 30's and above have trouble producing children! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortnun Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 [quote name='Aloysius' date='Oct 22 2005, 03:02 AM']our bodies are clearly designed for young marriage. so long as you believe sex is for marriage, you have to notice how early we are ready for sex and figure that (while it shouldn't be immediate) natural law would indicate the most natural state of man would be to get married as soon as possible after that readiness for sex. God didn't create us to have a large gap of 10 to 20 years between when we are ready for sex and when we can morally have it. [right][snapback]767074[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Yes, but please recall that early sexual maturity was necessary in human history when 14 was considered MIDDLE AGE. I consider the longjevity of human life today to be a blessing (in most cases anyway). And I agree with you that sexual maturity doesn't imply that we are meant to have sex right away. But also take into consideration that our brain matures until we're in our 30s!!!! This is a wonderful indicator of the cognitive capacity of human beings. But I think it could also easy support an arguement that places getting married in the mid-20s or 30s to be a wise and intelligent decision. I'm certainly not advocating having multiple (unhealthy) sexual relationships. The time we spend knowing our selves, and developing a deeper love of Christ would certainly help us discern the Divine Plan for our lives, and the person we can spend the rest of our life with. What I am trying to highlight are the benefits that further brain development (and consequential knowledge of self and Creator) can bring to a marriage and (God willing) the children that will come from that union). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aloysius Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 no matter how long we are going to live, our bodies are designed to be ready for sex early. prolonging the time between when your body is ready for sex and when it can morally have sex is dangerous and has been a major factor in destroying our society's sexual maturity. I don't understand this mid-30's concept of when the brain stops developing. you continue to learn your whole life. you shouldn't prolong marraige until you have some 'concret view of yourself' or whatever other mumbo-jumbo you call it, because that's not gonna happen really until heaven. moreover, it is best that you grow together with a person. the two become one flesh, once you are married in a mystical sense you are not individuals from each other, you are ONE. getting a 'cognitive knowledge of individual self' can actually make it harder for you to grow together with your spouse as one. I really don't buy the brain-developement or the life-span arguments. they're both poor excuses for why we are ready for sex mid-teens latest but we need to wait 15 years or more until we have it. the reason it is so prolonged is because of certain unjust economic conditions that come with modernism and it has ultimately undermined the institution of marriage as it has existed through time. sexual maturity implies that we should be given the oppurtunity to have sex morally with a proper understanding of it as soon as that is all possible. for someone who is raised properly, that should be somewhere between 16 and 20 depending on the person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancesforLove Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 I think it depends from person to person and on the degree the two people are pursuing. I think it is a personal decision and there is no right/wrong line with it. Some people, can handle being married in college and it wouldn't be a problem. Others, couldn't handle it and it would put a strain on the marriage and should wait until they graduate. It really depends on the people and how they feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeds Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 [quote name='Aloysius' date='Oct 24 2005, 01:09 AM']sexual maturity implies that we should be given the oppurtunity to have sex morally with a proper understanding of it as soon as that is all possible. for someone who is raised properly, that should be somewhere between 16 and 20 depending on the person. [right][snapback]768509[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Surely it's wise to be financially independent when getting married? Most people aged 16-20 are still in full time education. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aloysius Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 [quote name='Deeds' date='Oct 24 2005, 05:13 PM']Surely it's wise to be financially independent when getting married? Most people aged 16-20 are still in full time education. [right][snapback]769384[/snapback][/right] [/quote] precisely where our society transgresses the natural law. it should be possible to be financially independent much sooner. it is not. that is sad and wrong. if you are, because of the society you live in, unable to support getting married and having a family early in life, then you should not. but the ideal situation based on the natural law is marriage around 16 to 20 years old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photosynthesis Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 [quote name='DancesforLove' date='Oct 23 2005, 11:13 PM']I think it depends from person to person and on the degree the two people are pursuing. I think it is a personal decision and there is no right/wrong line with it. Some people, can handle being married in college and it wouldn't be a problem. Others, couldn't handle it and it would put a strain on the marriage and should wait until they graduate. It really depends on the people and how they feel. [right][snapback]768689[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I don't think feelings are the best guage of morality. Often, people do things and it "feels" right to them, but it can still be morally wrong. To me, the idea of waiting until a person is done with school is absurd. What is it about school that is more stressful than working full time? What is it about school that is an impediment to marriage. I can see financial independence being an issue, but there are college students out there who are financially independent. I know couples who say they're not getting married until they finish grad school, so they go through long engagements. One of my friends is a junior in college, and she and her boyfriend aren't getting married until he has his Ph.D. They're going to be engaged for 5 years, if not longer! [quote name='Aloysius' date='Oct 25 2005, 01:42 PM']but the ideal situation based on the natural law is marriage around 16 to 20 years old. [right][snapback]770049[/snapback][/right] [/quote] So, you say that 16-20 years old is around the age where youths are sexually mature. What does sexual maturity mean to you? And what about early puberty? Girls now are beginning menstruation as young as 8 years old. That's barely above the age of reason! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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