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Honest personal question about dating


Anastasia13

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Why is it that I am almost 22 and have never been asked out on a date in my life? I know I was homeschooled and didn't really have the breadth of social life/interaction where such might occur in high school, but I am in my fourth year in college. (I'm not necessarily looking for just some reassuring guys I know probably just don't get it type of reply.) Any thoughts?

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Laudate_Dominum

[quote name='Light and Truth' date='Oct 16 2005, 02:14 AM']Why is it that I am almost 22 and have never been asked out on a date in my life?  I know I was homeschooled and didn't really have the breadth of social life/interaction where such might occur in high school, but I am in my fourth year in college.  (I'm not necessarily looking for just some reassuring guys I know probably just don't get it type of reply.)  Any thoughts?
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"Someday your prince will come.." :hehehe:

I mean it. You seem like a really good and admirable person and so many guys out there are pigs and probably intuit their unworthiness to ask you out. But one of these days you will encounter someone who is worthy of you and man enough to pursue you.
I've noticed that the young ladies of the greatest quality generally tend to be asked out less than those of poor quality (there are exceptions, no offense to the exceptions out there).
I went to school at FUS, where there is a remarkable concentration of amazing young women, and this was a common complaint (never being asked out). I think you would find this less in a collection of loose women. I don't see it as a bad thing. But there are amazing and holy young ladies who happen to have been asked out a lot. I'm not saying that this means anything bad. I just speculate that really good young women are perhaps more unapproachable by young men of lower character and given the state of our society it makes sense that they would statistically have been asked out less.
And this is in my mind a blessing rather than a curse because you may end up only having given your heart to your future husband, which is a beautiful thing.

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[quote name='Laudate_Dominum' date='Oct 16 2005, 04:31 AM']And this is in my mind a blessing rather than a curse because you may end up only having given your heart to your future husband, which is a beautiful thing.
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amen

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^ What they said. It definitely rings true with my experience. I've had multiple guys tell me they haven't asked me on a date because I'm "a step above in the morals department." I would guess it is the same type of thing for you. Don't worry, God has someone in mind for you! :)

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I'm 16 and I've never had a boyfriend or anything either. guys who have asked me out were only joking. My younger sister had a boyfriend before I did and the guys I like never like me back. I know, I'm a bit younger than you are, but in my town, a lot of girls have boyfriends and I felt left out, like I was the ugly duckling among beautiful swans But what keeps me going is that God has a bigger plan for me so I'm going to follow it, and one day I know my handsome prince will come. I don't know you that well but you seem really cool, and I bet that one day, a guy's going to see that and not only ask you out, but want to ask you to marry him :)

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Two reasons.
'Approachability' and 'evident joy'. My wife and I both weren't 'date material' in high-school. We got together in the 'bar scene' when we both just wanted uncomplicated friends of the other sex. As we matured and aged we saw it was people who seemed approachable and/or joyful in their status in life who got dates. Sure, your moral standards will make you unapproachable to sleaze-bags, but you want to be exude happines to make yourself approachable to others who will value your standards. It easier to build a wall, brick by brick, then to tear it down. Work on showing you are happy with yourself and you will get requests for dates. Stick with who you are and date only those you want to date. It's quality, not quantity.

Evident joy is why married people get flirted with. Heck, I got flirted with yesterday and my wife was with me. We were out with friends 'junk-shopping/antiqueing' and had a wonderful day. We were all happy and happy with each other. Stuff like that never happend to us in highschool because we weren't happy because we were afraid we shouldn't be happy.

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[quote name='Light and Truth' date='Oct 16 2005, 02:14 AM']Why is it that I am almost 22 and have never been asked out on a date in my life?  I know I was homeschooled and didn't really have the breadth of social life/interaction where such might occur in high school, but I am in my fourth year in college.  (I'm not necessarily looking for just some reassuring guys I know probably just don't get it type of reply.)  Any thoughts?
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Dating is way overrated, Im 27 I almost got married a few years ago. She left town all of a sudden, so I been single for almost 3 years, I've been on a couple of dates but, I would like to marry someone that can be my best friend outside of romance. But thats just me cuz Im not a romantic dude, id much rather hangout and do something fun. So I spend alot of my time with my single church friends.

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theculturewarrior

try talking to people. If you "click" he might just ask you out!

That said, don't pay attention to anything people tell you. If somebody says "he likes you," or "he's flirting with you," ignore them. There are a lot of busybodies in the dating game and they're wrong about 99.9% of the time. :)

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[quote name='Light and Truth' date='Oct 16 2005, 03:14 AM']Why is it that I am almost 22 and have never been asked out on a date in my life?  I know I was homeschooled and didn't really have the breadth of social life/interaction where such might occur in high school, but I am in my fourth year in college.  (I'm not necessarily looking for just some reassuring guys I know probably just don't get it type of reply.)  Any thoughts?
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i think about this a lot too. i am 22...just graduated from college back in may. in grade school i always thought i'll find someone in high school....problem being that i went to an all girls schools. in high school i thought college will be my answer.....then in college i was convinced it'll be after i graduate....i just keep waiting and waiting. i can definately relate to you. it's frustrating especially now that i'm done school...went to the wedding of my college roomate this summer....and i bunch of people i went to school with are engaged to be married next summer.

i just keep trying to tell myself to be patient. it's the only thing that helps honestly. i'm hoping that once i finish my first year of teaching i'll have more time to get involved in stuff where i'll meet people..

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I decided my freshman year that I wouldn't date anyone unless I felt I could possibly spend the rest of my life with them and that we would have lots in common and really care for each other. I went all through high school and my freshman year of college without a boyfriend because I figured unless they're really worth my time I'm not going to waste my time on a stupid "reationship". It's funny how I found the guy who fits all those criteria and so much more in my best friend. We've been dating for almost a month and I'm so happy I waited, I love being able to say he was my first kiss.

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There are a lot of jerks in today's world, you don't want to have your heart broken repeatedly, desperately searching for the "one". Usually, people will not feel comfortable dating someone who's really devout to Christ and His Church, because they lack the same devotion themselves (and don't want to change). I've been homeschooled all my life, and I never dated either (I'm 18, out of HS).

A door will open for you, just gotta hang on and keep on praying!

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It means nothing, necessarily. I'm much older than you and still single (though I'm a guy).

People are basically shallow. Guys are interested in looks and "hot babes," while women are interested in guys mainly for money and social status. Most women have no interest in an "outsider" who doesn't play by everyone else's rules. They like comformist sheep.

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Forgot, you're not Catholic. :blush:

But still, a devotion to Christ will push [b]some[/b] people away, it's the way things are.

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