Parents

[Philomena]

Hi. I'm considering a vocation to the religious life, but my parents have told me that I am not allowed to contact any religious orders. If, in the rare event that they never give me their permission to correspond with a religious order when I am older, at what age would I not be committing a sin of disobedience if I did write/email some nuns?

Thanks.

[Extra ecclesiam nulla salus]

i would think 18

[philothea]

Someone correct me here... but I don't know if they have any right to object. You're old enough that you are responsible for the state of your own soul. If God has given you a vocation to the religious life, I think you may have an obligation to persue it.

(?)

How old are you now?

[Philomena]

[quote name='philothea' date='Sep 8 2005, 08:54 PM']How old are you now?
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Sixteen.

[MC IMaGiNaZUN]

i would say eighteen. There are a lot of women religious orders that start excepting girls at that young of an age.

SHALOM

[Extra ecclesiam nulla salus]

on second thought. you are old enough to decidede that. you do not have to obey superiors in all things if it comes between you and God.

[jgirl]

I agree and think that it's 18. You are legally an adult at that point. Your parents have less and less of an influence and in some ways, them preventing you is kind of like they are forcing you in their path. You are the one who chooses your vocation, not your parents.

[jezic]

i think that you should try and follow your parents as much as you can until they stop you from doing things like that. if you have a legitimate desire to contact a religious order, i would try to do that.

Maybe talk to your priest about it first and see what he says.

[Dudette]

You should get the book "Peter on the Shore" It explains a lot of the problems (like this for example) that teenagers who are discerning a vocation run into to. It's written by Fr. Bannon, LC, it will help you a ton! God Bless and prayers.

[Philomena]

[quote name='Dudette' date='Sep 9 2005, 09:07 PM']You should get the book "Peter on the Shore" It explains a lot of the problems (like this for example) that teenagers who are discerning a vocation run into to. It's written by Fr. Bannon, LC, it will help you a ton! God Bless and prayers.
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Thanks. I think I may have read that book...Is that the one on the vocations.com website? I'm not sure, the name just seems to ring a bell.

[Dudette]

It probably is yes! It is an excellent vocations book.

[materdei]

I had always heard that parents cannot stand in the way of your vocation. Yes, you need to obey your parents, but the Church teaches, where your vocation is concerned, you can, in a sense, override what they say. I don't believe there is an age restriction on that. Practically speaking though, you cannot enter most communities until after you turn 18, so, if your not even close to that age there is no need to make your day to day life miserable if you can't fully pursue religious life anyway.

[Philomena]

[quote name='materdei' date='Sep 9 2005, 10:12 PM']I had always heard that parents cannot stand in the way of your vocation. Yes, you need to obey your parents, but the Church teaches, where your vocation is concerned, you can, in a sense, override what they say. I don't believe there is an age restriction on that. Practically speaking though, you cannot enter most communities until after you turn 18, so, if your not even close to that age there is no need to make your day to day life miserable if you can't fully pursue religious life anyway.
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That's true. On top of that, all but one of the convents I am discerning only accept girls who are 21 or older. I haven't told my parents outright of my desires (they think it is gone), but I have been dropping not so subtle hints. I don't think they get it though.

Thanks for all the advice guys.

BTW, Does anyone know of a saint who defied his/her parents to enter the religious life? I know St. Clare did and I think St. Francis also did, but I can't seem to think of anyone else. Thanks.

Edited September 10, 2005 by Philomena

[benedictaj]

Philomena....I haven't yet TOLD my parents (I will 18 in December) and I am discerning with a couple of communities as well, all of whom let under 21's enter.

St Thomas Aquinas is a great friend of mine (in a sense lol!) His parents wanted him to become a the Abbot of a Benedictine monastery, when he only wanted to become a Dominican preacher. His parents even hired a woman to seduce him, however, he was granted a spiritual chastity belt, so he could remain chaste. He's pretty cool (and VERY smart) You could look him up for more info.

I personally LOVE St Clare of Assisi though, I feel a really strongconnection with her, for some reason (its my Confirmation, as well!)

I'll keep you and your parents in my prayers. OH! Maybe you could pick a Marian feast day to seriously discuss this all with your parents...thats what I'm doing to do, and I've picked October 7th, Our Lady of the Rosary...

~Emily

[Philomena]

[quote name='memtherose' date='Sep 9 2005, 10:43 PM']Philomena....I haven't yet TOLD my parents (I will 18 in December) and I am discerning with a couple of communities as well, all of whom let under 21's enter.

St Thomas Aquinas is a great friend of mine (in a sense lol!) His parents wanted him to become a the Abbot of a Benedictine monastery, when he only wanted to become a Dominican preacher. His parents even hired a woman to seduce him, however, he was granted a spiritual chastity belt, so he could remain chaste. He's pretty cool (and VERY smart) You could look him up for more info.

I personally LOVE St Clare of Assisi though, I feel a really strongconnection with her, for some reason (its my Confirmation, as well!)

I'll keep you and your parents in my prayers. OH! Maybe you could pick a Marian feast day to seriously discuss this all with your parents...thats what I'm doing to do, and I've picked October 7th, Our Lady of the Rosary...

~Emily
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I remember the story of St. Thomas Aquinas! My religion teacher made us read it last year. I remember thinking it was so funny (in a good way) because he beat that woman back with a fire poker thing.

Anyway, telling them on a Marian feast, that is a great idea.Thanks. I haven't told them yet because I want to be sure of my vocation so that I won't fight with them unecessarily.

Maria