argent_paladin Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 I posted this on amazon a while back but I thought phatmassers might get a kick out of reading it. Here it is: 7 of 7 people found the following review helpful: Do not buy, unless you want a good laugh!, April 19, 2004 Reviewer: Zachary Foreman (Oakand, California) - Between the red and gold covers of this innocuous-looking book there awaits at once horror and joy. These prayers are so poorly written as to be (unintentionally) comical. This is the epitome of history passing a book by. In its defense, it was written (by committee) in 1977. To say that this year was not the high point in liturgical history is an understatement. The prayers shove an ideological cocktail of anti-capitalism, identity politics, environmental radicalism and feeble theology down the throats of an unwilling congregation. Also, one of the most insidious things about it is that it mixes in some pretty decent prayers with some spectacularly awful ones. But why should I try to condemn it, when it does such a good job of condemning itself? The prayers run the gamut from insipid to earnest from too-clever-by-half to stupid-beyond-belief. Here are the standards that the authors set for themselves, be the judge of their success: "They should be fresh, clear, varied and of immediate concern, yet not overly dramatic, or, what is worse, coy, cute or obviously clever.... Petitions should not be didactic, and should not be used as a sledgehammer to force upon the people a series of merely personal petitions. The prayers should not be used to manipulate the faithful." (Preface) Here are some of the "best" petitions: "For employers whose primary interest is in efficiency, self-confidence, and good appearance, that they will also hire the ugly, create a demand for the unwanted, and support those who are new on the job..." (Immaculate Conception) "For the homely, that their hearts may be beautiful enough to show through..." (Assumption) "For activists who spend lonely days fighting strip mining companies, water and air polluters, and others who ravage this world..." "For a frost that will tarnish the value of gold and put sparkle into the dullness of life..." "For a society where we don't have t make a million dollars, run the 100 in 10 seconds, invent a laser or die, in order to be believed..." "That we will reverence the mystery of other people's lives and of our own life when we use words like negro, middle-class, culturally-deprived, and PhD." "For soldiers who don't get mail, children who flunk, showgirls who grow old, for all who suffer, that they will know there is no suffering unnoticed by God..." "That those who collect bottle for recycling, and plant trees, and cover up strip mines, will show us how to care for the creation we have been given..." "For people who are happy, that they may make others happy..." "For the younger generations that will not accept old ways and values, that they may move us to repentance and renewal..." "For put-down, stepped on, squelched children exiled to live in dark caverns, that they will survive..." " For all who choke on the poisoned water, food or air, that they may receive the gifts of time and courage to work for a restored planet..." And the best one of them all: "For the smell of new rain, for pumpkins and Snoopy, for the aroma of homemade bread, for cotton candy, for funny looking animals like giraffes and koalas and human beings... For the smell of fall in the air, for pay checks, and smoked ribs, for the intricate designs of window frost, and for ice cubes and ice cream... For clean sheets and peanut butter, and perma-press, and stereo-headphones, for vacations and seat belts, for escalators, and for views from tall buildings, and for red balloons... For first romances and second romances, for eyes to see colors and ears to hear music and feet to dance, for dissenters and the right to dissent, for black and red and brown power, for pine trees and daises, for newspapers and sandals and frogs... For parks and woodsmoke and snow, for the smell of leather, for funny buttons and powerful posters, for pecan pies and long hear and french fries and re-cycling centers, for jet planes and for finding a nearby parking space, for zoos and splashing fountains and rock music and Bach music..." --From Thanksgiving Day This book is a failure, yes, but in a greater way, it is a success. First, it offers a fascinating snapshot of a particularly turbulent time in the life of the Church and the country-1977; second, it is the funniest book I have read in a long time. At some points I was laughing so much that I couldn't breathe. If you want good liturgy, stay away from this book. If you want to cringe at the inanities of the seventies or need a good laugh (or want to play a practical joke on your lector), buy this book! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilesChristi Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 [quote]"For put-down, stepped on, squelched children exiled to live in dark caverns, that they will survive..."[/quote] ^^^ That one's my favorite. How very absurd... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 [quote name='argent_paladin' date='Sep 7 2005, 06:46 PM']"For soldiers who don't get mail, children who flunk, showgirls who grow old, for all who suffer, that they will know there is no suffering unnoticed by God..." [right][snapback]714730[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Showgirls who grow old?! I think they forgot one: "...for axe murderers whose blades grow dull, we pray to the Lord..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Those are so ridiculous. I'm a little confused here, though. Perhaps someone can help me try to understand this. Some of the prayers talk about wanting to get rid of the evils of money, such as: [quote]"For a frost that will tarnish the value of gold and put sparkle into the dullness of life..."[/quote] [quote]"For a society where we don't have t make a million dollars, run the 100 in 10 seconds, invent a laser or die, in order to be believed..."[/quote] But then they pray: [quote]"For the smell of fall in the air, [b]for pay checks[/b], and smoked ribs, for the intricate designs of window frost, and for ice cubes and ice cream..."[/quote] It just doesn't make sense to me. Where are their pay checks going to come from if they don't want other people to make money (and pay them their salaries)? I guess it's okay to criticize others, but not ourselves? And the placement of it in that context is just plain weird. [quote]"For the smell of new rain, for pumpkins and Snoopy, for the aroma of homemade bread, for cotton candy, [b]for funny looking animals like giraffes and koalas and [i]human beings[/i][/b]...[/quote] Is it just me, or is that kinda mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zunshynn Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 (edited) How could those POSSIBLY be unintentional!!?? [quote]"For the smell of new rain, for pumpkins and Snoopy, for the aroma of homemade bread, for cotton candy, for funny looking animals like giraffes and koalas and human beings...[/quote] [quote]For clean sheets and peanut butter, and perma-press, and stereo-headphones, for vacations and seat belts, for escalators, and for views from tall buildings, and for red balloons...[/quote] Yes. Let us pray to the Lord. For the extermination of books like these. Edited September 8, 2005 by zunshynn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kateri05 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 (edited) what is this book CALLED? this is hysterical!!! Edited September 8, 2005 by kateri05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
argent_paladin Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 The funniest thing is that our liturgist (at a quite orthodox Dominican house of study) ordered this book for the sacristy, not knowing its contents, which are not apparent from the conservative cover. The acolyte actually read the petitions at mass. It was the funniest thing ever. That day we returned the book and I wrote my review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
argent_paladin Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 [quote name='kateri05' date='Sep 7 2005, 07:45 PM'] what is this book CALLED? this is hysterical!!! [right][snapback]714813[/snapback][/right] [/quote] That's the scary thing. Type in "prayers of the faithful" in the Amazon search engine and it is the first book that comes up. It has a nice, normal cover and says that it was published in 1997 (even though it was just reprinted then). So, I really think a lot of people buy these things not knowing what's in them. That's why I *had* to write a review. See: [url="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0814660290/qid=1126140483/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-6841703-7795346?v=glance&s=books&n=507846"]Prayers of the Faithful[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philippe Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 thats the best thing ever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piccoli Fiori JMJ Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 apparently it is a popular book... there is only one left in stock on amazon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 (edited) For employers whose primary interest is in efficiency, self-confidence, and good appearance, that they will also hire the ugly, create a demand for the unwanted, and support those who are new on the job..." (Immaculate Conception) They forgot For all who have facial blemishes that their hearts may be clean Edited September 8, 2005 by missionseeker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laudate_Dominum Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old_Joe Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 [quote]"For the homely, that their hearts may be beautiful enough to show through..." (Assumption)[/quote] Well, it's nice to know that someone is praying for us homely people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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