Old_Joe Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 It's simple. Just like the "Favorite Simpsons Quotes" thread you post your favorite quotes from Monty Python. It can be from the TV series or from the movies. Just be careful language, content, etc. King Arthur: "Good idea, O Lord!" God: "Of course it's a good idea!" ----------------------------------------------------------- Brian (to crowd): "You are all individuals!" Crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!" Brian: "You are all different!" Crowd: Yes! We are all different! Man in back: "I'm not." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old_Joe Posted August 31, 2005 Author Share Posted August 31, 2005 And now for something completely different... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 It has been done before... about five or six times... Now go away or I will taunt you a second time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old_Joe Posted August 31, 2005 Author Share Posted August 31, 2005 Really? I couldn't find any thread specifically devoted to this. There were several where it turned into Monty python quotes. oh well. It's always good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 It's always good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamthor Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azaelia Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 She turned me into a newt! - A newt? ...I got better. What? Ridden on a horse? - Yes! You're using coconuts! - What? You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together. - So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through... Where'd you get the coconuts? - We found them. Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical! - What do you mean? Well, this is a temperate zone - The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land? Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? - Not at all. They could be carried. What? A swallow carrying a coconut? - It could grip it by the husk! It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut. Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed! And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessalonian Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 (edited) FRENCH GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt! GALAHAD: What a strange person. ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man-- FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I ***** in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Edited August 31, 2005 by thessalonian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stargirl3:16 Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 SIR BEDEVERE: And that, my liege, is how we know the earth to be banana-shaped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stargirl3:16 Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours! PRINCE HERBERT: What, the curtains? (I love having the script.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyLikeABird Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear. Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right. Man (to Waitress): Morning! Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning! Man: Well, what've you got? Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam; Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam... Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam... Vikings (singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam. Wife: Have you got anything without spam? Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it. Wife: I don't want ANY spam! Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage? Wife: THAT'S got spam in it! Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it? Vikings: Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines) Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then? Waitress: Urgghh! Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam! Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!) Waitress: Shut up! Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam. Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam! Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam! Vikings (singing): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off. Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words) Vikings (singing elaborately): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyLikeABird Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 Go boil your bottoms! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avemaria40 Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 "What-- is the wing velocity of an unladen swallow?" "An African swallow, or a European swallow?" "I don't know that--AHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessalonian Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 This cracks me up the most I think. MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence. DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! MORTICIAN: What? CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence. DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead! CUSTOMER: Yes, he is. DEAD PERSON: I'm not! MORTICIAN: He isn't. CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill. DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better! CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment. MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations. DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go on the cart! CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby. MORTICIAN: I can't take him... DEAD PERSON: I feel fine! CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor... MORTICIAN: I can't. CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long. MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today. CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round? MORTICIAN: Thursday. DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk. CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do? DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop] CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much. MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday. CUSTOMER: Right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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