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Discernment


willguy

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Okay, I know there are several guys here who are either seminarians or considering entering the priesthood. I've found its nice to talk with other guys who are discerning, and I really don't have anyone in my area. So, I'm starting a thread for guys in this situation to talk.

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Sweet . . . I'm thinking Domincan lately . . . but I'm so unsure . . . Please God!!

Which reminds me, if you are one of our sisters out there reading this thread, I sure hope you're praying for us. Especially if you are thinking about a veil for yourself. Start a thread of your own, we'll pray for you!!!

Jesus is Phat!

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i'm dicerning, and i'm in a long-term with a girl who understnads that.

to me, i'm in a longer-term relationship with Christ and i try to keep both relationships as holy as possible.

thats the only way i can give them both a fair chance and fair consideration.

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i'm dicerning, and i'm in a long-term with a girl who understnads that.

to me, i'm in a longer-term relationship with Christ and i try to keep both relationships as holy as possible.

thats the only way i can give them both a fair chance and fair consideration.

Please change that avatar, man. It's freaking me out... -_-;

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Definitly discerning, leaning diocesan.

I got a question. There's this girl who likes me, and I like her. The problem is that I plan on entering the seminary next fall, and I don't want to start dating here because of that. I don't want to get a relationship going only to have to kill it. I couldn't stand hurting her like that. The problem is that its hurting both of us to play these games, and I need to just go up to her and lay it out. Any advice (besides to just grow some balls and tell her)?

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Sounds to me like you have da balls will guy. Thats just a really tough situation. Are you afraid the relationship would go farther than you want?

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I'm not sure what you mean. I just want to be friends. I don't want to date, because its just setting it up to fail. Either that or I'll let it get in the way of me pursuing the seminary. I don't want either to happen, and I've met guys in both situations. It's just hard because she's had trouble with men in her past, and she's not entirely emotionally stable. I don't want to hurt her, but I need to make it clear that all this flirting isn't going to get her anywhere.

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I think you have to make sure to see each other only in larger groups. And never when the others in the group are all couples. Also, don't spend long hours with her on the phone. Treat her like you treat your other friends who are girls, and talk about your discernment a lot in her presence. Don't confide in her about all the questions and doubts you might have, because this confidence does two things, it either will re-enfoce the "We have a special bond" mentatility or it will make her think "Hmmm, maybe we have a chance."

My mom used to make it very clear to me growing up that a girl wants to be pursued. If the girl pursues the guy its a relationship that will set itself up for failure. Guys need to feel like they won a girls heart, otherwise they take it for granted. (I could go into this more, but its the wrong thread for that). Suffice to say that, the less you pursue her, or the less it looks like you're pursuing her, the sooner she will allow her heart to move on.

I don't think its good to head off to the seminary in a relationship. But it is okay to head off with her fonldy on your heart. Take that to Christ, pray for her, and ask him to teach you to love her the way he wants you to love her.

I was in love (but not in a relationship) when I entered teh seminary. My spiritual director taught me to offer that love to God in order to know my vocation. It worked. She's very happy now in DC and we're still good friends. We pray for each other still and we get together now and then and discuss religion (one day she'll be Catholic, I just know it!)

So, that's my experience and advice. Let's hope others offer something too.

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Small problem with not seeing her...

She lives in my dorm. We run in a small group usually, about 5-10 of us (we call ourselves the posse). So I see her a lot. But I know what you mean about not being alone. I think I just need to have a conversation with her and lay it out. Thanx for the help guys.

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I am a seminarian attending Saint John Vianney Minor College Seminary in St. Paul, Minnesota at the University of St. Thomas. I would say that if you are really serious about entering the seminary and you know it will prolly happen stay away from dating relationships. I didnt do that and it ended up getting nasty and hurting both of us and while I was at the sem it was hard to break off the communication with her it was like I was living in two diff worlds. You cant discern propereley if you are thinking about another girl.

You should check out the seminary we would love to have you guys here. It is mainly for diocesean preists. Very orthodox and in line and it has a great program and great guys. Ask your diocese about it.

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Seatbelt Blue

Has anyong heard anything about the Conventual Franciscans? I'm really leaning in that direction.

As for the relationship thingy -

I have an on-and-off relationship with a girl named Erin. She's probably going to go down in history as the lady of my life, because I can't see myself not entering the priesthood. I love her, I really do (on-and-off because her father doesnt approve of interracial relationships; she's black, I'm white), but there is so much I feel God is calling me to do, and I need to be a priest. I haven't spoken to her in some time since I went off to college, and I miss her like all.

Edited by Seatbelt Blue
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