Does anyone know the details on...

[lifeteenchick527]

wowow... thats sooo i'm lovin it : thats pretty sweet :

God Bless
LTC

[Luthien]

[quote name='Laudate_Dominum' date='Aug 27 2005, 03:05 AM']It is a type of engagement. The difference is that a standard engagement is an [i]intention [/i]to marry, whereas a betrothal is a solemn [i]promise[/i], before the Church, and blessed by the Church.

I think that it is fine to be engaged for six months and then get married, but I think if an engaged couple has to wait for a year or two before they can marry (maybe for practical reasons or something), they ought to consider getting betrothed.
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*gasp* Thats perfect! I never felt engagement did the promise of marriage justice.

[Laudate_Dominum]

[quote name='Luthien' date='Aug 27 2005, 10:23 AM']*gasp*  Thats perfect! I never felt engagement did the promise of marriage justice. 
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Isn't it? The ceremony is so ridiculously perfect.. *sigh*

I have this silly day dream regarding my possible future betrothal.

I imagine only the closest friends and family being in attendance. It will take place immediately following the Holy Mass. Before the ceremony I imagine the praying of the Rosary. After this a cantor will lead the chanting of Psalm 126 (beautiful gregorian chant), and the priest will be near the altar and will receieve the couple who will process toward the altar. The couple will kneel and the entire ceremony will take place with the couple kneeling at the threshold of the sanctuary. Immediately following the ceremony I imagine there being Eucharistic exposition and benediction. Finally the couple does a joint consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
A little banquet follows, at which the man will present gifts to his newly betrothed and they will share the traditional glass of wine. : hehe

I haven't decided if the benediction service would be more appropriate before or after the ceremony. Or if its appropriate at all... Oh well, its not like its going to happen any time soon. LOL

[Laudate_Dominum]

Here is the complete betrothal ceremony according to the Roman Rite.

[quote]1. [i]The priest (vested in surplice and white stole) with his assistants (vested in surplice) awaits the couple at the communion table. At hand are the stoup with holy water and the altar missal. As the man and woman come forward with the two witnesses they have chosen, the following antiphon and psalm are sung on the eighth psalm tone: [/i]

[b]Antiphon: [/b]To the Lord I will tender my promise: in the presence of all His people.

[b]Psalm 126 [/b]
Unless the house be of the Lord's building, in vain do the builders labor.
Unless the Lord be the guard of the city, 'tis in vain the guard keeps his sentry.
It is futile that you rise before daybreak, to be astir in the midst of darkness,
Ye that eat the bread of hard labor; for He deals bountifully to His beloved while they are sleeping.
Behold, offspring result from God's giving, a fruitful womb the regard of His blessing.
Like arrows in the hand of the warrior, are children begotten of a youthful father.
Happy the man who has filled therewith his quiver; they shall uphold him in contending at the gate with his rival.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and forever, through endless ages. Amen.

[b]Antiphon:[/b] To the Lord I will tender my promise: in the presence of all His people.

2.[i] The priest now addresses them: [/i]

[b]Allocution [/b]

Beloved of Christ: It is in the dispensation of Divine Providence that you are called to the holy vocation of marriage. For this reason, you present yourselves today before Christ and His Church, before His sacred minister and the devout people of God, to ratify in solemn manner the engagement bespoken between you. At the same time you entreat the blessing of the Church upon your proposal, as well as the earnest supplications of the faithful here present, since you fully realize that what has been inspired and guided by the will of your heavenly Father requires equally His grace to be brought to a happy fulfillment. We are confident that you have given serious and prayerful deliberation to your pledge of wedlock; moreover, that you have sought counsel from the superiors whom God has placed over you. In the time that intervenes, you will prepare for the sacrament of matrimony by a period of virtuous courtship, so that when the happy and blessed day arrives for you to give yourselves irrevocably to each other, you will have laid a sound spiritual foundation for long years of godly prosperity on earth and eventual blessedness together in the life to come. May the union you purpose one day to consummate as man and wife be found worthy to be in all truth a sacramental image and reality of the union of Christ and His beloved Bride, the Church. This grant, thou Who livest and reignest, God, forever and evermore.

[b]R.[/b] Amen.

3. [i]The priest now bids the couple to join their right hands, while they repeat after him the following: [/i]

[b]The man: [/b]
In the name of our Lord, I, N.N., promise that I will one day take thee, N.N., as my wife, according to the ordinances of God and holy Church. I will love thee even as myself. I will keep faith and loyalty to thee, and so in thine necessities aid and comfort thee; which things and all that a man ought to do unto his espoused I promise to do unto thee and to keep by the faith that is in me.

[b]The woman: [/b]
In the name of our Lord, I, N.N., in the form and manner wherein thou hast promised thyself unto me, do declare and affirm that I will one day bind and oblige myself unto thee, and will take thee, N.N„ as my husband. And all that thou hast pledged unto me I promise to do and keep unto thee, by the faith that is in me.

4. [i]Then the priest takes the two ends of his stole and in the form of a cross places them over the clasped hands of the couple. Holding the stole in place with his left hand, he says: I bear witness of your solemn proposal and I declare you betrothed. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. As he pronounces the last words, he sprinkles them with holy water in the form of a cross. [/i]

5. [i]Thereupon he blesses the engagement ring: [/i]

[b]V. [/b]Adjutorium nostrum in nomine Domini.

[b]R.[/b] Qui fecit caelum et terram.

[b]V. [/b]Domine, exaudi orationem meam.

[b]R.[/b] Et clamor meus ad te veniat.

[b]V. [/b]Dominus vobiscum.

[b]R.[/b] Et cum spiritu tuo.

[b]Oremus:[/b] Omnipotent Deus, creator et conservator humani generis, ac largitor aeternae salutis, permitte digneris Spiritum sanctum Paraclitum super hunc annulum. Per Dominum nostrum Jesum Christum, Filium tuum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat in unitate Spiritus Sancti Deus, per omnia saecula saeculorum.

[b]R.[/b] Amen.

Et aspergatur aqua benedicta.

[b]V.[/b] Our help is in the name of the Lord.

[b]R.[/b] Who made heaven and earth.

[b]V. [/b]O Lord, hear my prayer.

[b]R.[/b] And let my cry come unto thee.

[b]V.[/b] The Lord be with you.

[b]R.[/b] And with thy spirit.

[b]Let us pray: [/b]

O God Almighty, Creator and preserver of the human race, and the Giver of everlasting salvation, deign to allow the Holy Spirit, the Consoler to come with His blessing upon this ring. Through our Lord, Jesus Christ, thy Son, who liveth and reigneth with thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit God, for endless ages.

[b]R. [/b]Amen.

[i]The ring is sprinkled with holy water. [/i]

6. [b]The man takes the ring and places it first on the index finger of the left hand of the woman, saying:[/b] In the name of the Father, [i](then on the middle finger, adding): [/i]and of the Son;[i] (finally placing and leaving it on the ring finger, he concludes): [/i]and of the Holy Spirit.

7. [i]The priest opens the missal at the beginning of the Canon, and presents the page imprinted with the crucifixion to be kissed first by the man and then by the woman. [/i]

8. [i]If Mass does not follow (or even if Mass is to follow, if he deems it opportune), the priest may read the following passages from Sacred Scripture: [/i]

[b]Tobias 7:8 [/b]
Tobias said: I will not eat nor drink here this day, unless thou first grant me my petition, and promise to give me Sara thy daughter… The angel said to Raguel: Be not afraid to give her to this man, for to him who feareth God, is thy daughter due to be his wife; therefore another could not have her… And Raguel taking the right hand of his daughter, he gave it unto the right hand of Tobias, saying: The God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob be with you, and may He join you together, and fulfill His blessing in you. And taking paper they made a writing of the marriage. And afterwards they made merry, blessing God… Then Tobias exhorted the virgin, and said to her: Sara, arise, and let us pray to God today, and tomorrow, and the next day; because for these three nights we are joined to God; and when the third night is over, we will be in our own wedlock. For we are children of saints, and must not be joined together like heathens that know not God. So they both arose, and prayed earnestly both together that health might be given them.

[b]R. [/b]Thanks be to God.

[b]John 15:4-12 [/b]
At that time, Jesus said to His disciples: Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abide in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same beareth much fruit; for without me you can do nothing. If any one abide not in me, he shall be cast forth as a branch, and shall wither, and they shall gather him up, and cast him into the fire, and he burneth. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, you shall ask whatever you will, and it shall be done unto you. In this is my Father glorified; that you bring forth very much fruit, and become my disciples. As the Father hath loved me, I also have loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you shall abide in my love; as I also have kept my Father's commandments, and do abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy be in you, and your joy may be filled. This is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you.

[b]R.[/b] Praise be to thee, O Christ!

9. [i]Lastly, the priest extends his hands over the heads of the couple and says: [/i]

May God bless your bodies and your souls. May He shed His blessing upon you as He blessed Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. May the hand of the Lord be upon you, may He send His holy Angel to guard you all the days of your life. Amen. Go in peace! [/quote]

This ceremony is taken from [i]The Roman Ritual[/i], translated by Philip T. Weller. (Amazon.com has one copy of this book listed but it costs 100 bucks)

[Laudate_Dominum]

Something else cool is that St. Thomas Aquinas calls the state of betrothal in the Church "[i]quasi-sacramental[/i]". Tell me that doesn't totally rock!

And don't forget what the Roman Ritual says:
[quote]It is praiseworthy and in accord with ancient ecclesiastical custom for a Catholic young man and young woman who become engaged to have the engagement solemnized and blessed by the Church. For detailed discussion of a betrothal and its consequences one may consult Canon Law (canon 1017) and a commentary.[/quote]

[Laudate_Dominum]

phatcatholic:

Here are some links for you:
[url="http://www.catholicculture.org/docs/doc_view.cfm?recnum=2978"]http://www.catholicculture.org/docs/doc_view.cfm?recnum=2978[/url]
[url="http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02537c.htm"]http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02537c.htm[/url]
[url="http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09703b.htm"]http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09703b.htm[/url]

Here is the Roman Ritual online: [url="http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Oracle/6782/ritrom1.htm#mat5"]http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Oracle/6782/ritrom1.htm#mat5[/url]

Here is an Eastern Orthodox betrothal ceremony:
[url="http://www.reu.org/public/liturgys/WEDDINGMS.pdf"]http://www.reu.org/public/liturgys/WEDDINGMS.pdf[/url] (It's a PDF file by the way)

Here are some books to lookup at the library if anyone is that curious:
[i]De Benedictionibus[/i] (Libreria Editirice Vaticana, Vatican, 1993, page 79, n. 195)
[i]Book of Blessings[/i], (Liturgical Press, 1989)
Harper Collins Encyclopedia of Catholicism
[i]Preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage[/i], by the Pontifical Council for the Family
[i]The Betrothal Contract in the Code of Canon Law[/i], Chester Wrzaszczak (Washington, D. C.: CUA Press)
[i]The Roman Ritual[/i], Philip T. Weller
[i]Your Engagement Should be in Church[/i], Chester Wrzaszczak (St Louis: The Queen's Work)


I think it would also be cool to bring back the custom of having the wedding bed blessed.
[img]http://www.forest.gen.nz/Medieval/articles/wedding/bedding.jpg[/img]

Actually, if anyone can find an official prayer of blessing for the marital bed I will be in your debt. I've found blessings for everything from butter and lard, to beer and church bells. You would think it wouldn't be hard to find since it used to be a common thing.
[quote]BLESSING OF MOLTEN METAL FOR A BELL
BLESSING OF MOBILE FILM UNITS FOR ROAD SAFETY
BLESSING OF A FIRE-ENGINE
BLESSING OF AN ELECTRIC DYNAMO
BLESSING OF A SEISMOGRAPH
BLESSING OF TOOLS FOR SCALING MOUNTAINS
SOLEMN BLESSING OF A FISHING-BOAT
BLESSING OF SALT OR OATS FOR ANIMALS
BLESSING OF coagulated milk OR BUTTER
BLESSING OF BEER
BLESSING OF GRAPES
BLESSING OF PASTRIES
BLESSING OF LILIES[/quote]

[Laudate_Dominum]

A detail of Canon Law that should be known by those interested in betrothal:

"Except for the 'local ordinary' (the bishop and the vicar-general), only the pastor is officially competent to witness a betrothal contract. Delegation to another priest, even the assistant in the parish, is disallowed in canon law."

This is talking about the witnessing of the betrothal contract. Any priest can do the actual liturgical ceremony, so long as the witnessing of the contract is done by the local ordinary or pastor of the parish. I'll have to look at the Canon Law in more detail, but I assume a deacon could also legitimately preside over the ceremony.

[Laudate_Dominum]

Here is an Eastern betrothal ceremony.
[quote][b]THE BETROTHAL LITURGY[/b]

[[i]After the Divine Liturgy, the Priest being in the Temple, those who desire to be joined together take their stand before the Holy Door. The two rings lie on he right hand side of the Holy Altar. The Priest three times makes the Sign of the Cross over the heads of the bridal pair, then gives them lighted tapers[/i].]

DEACON/COUPLE:
Bless, Father.
P: Blessed is our God always,now, and ever, and unto ages of ages.
R: Amen.

P/D: In peace let us pray to the Lord,
R: Lord, have mercy

P/D: For the peace that is from above, and for the salvation of our souls, let us pray to the Lord,
R: Lord, have mercy.

P/D: For the servant of God, (N), and the handmaid of God (N), who now plight each other their troth and for their salvation, let us pray to the Lord,
R: Lord, have mercy.

P/D: That there may be granted unto them children for the continuation of their race, and all their petitions which are unto salvation, let us pray to the Lord,
R: Lord, have mercy.

P/D: That He will send down upon them perfect and peaceful love and succor, let us pray to the Lord,
R: Lord, have mercy.

P/D: That He will preserve them in oneness of mind, and in steadfastness of faith, let us pray to the Lord,
R: Lord, have mercy.

P/D: That He will bless them with a blameless life, let us pray to the Lord,
R: Lord, have mercy.

P/D: That He will grant unto them an honorable marriage and a bed undefiled, let us pray to the Lord,
R: Lord, have mercy.

P/D: That He will deliver us from all tribulation, wrath, and necessity, let us pray to the Lord,
R: Lord, have mercy.

P: Succor us, save us, have mercy upon us, and keep us, O God, by Thy Grace,
R: Lord Have mercy.

P: Calling to remembrance our most holy, all-undefiled, most blessed and glorious Lady, the Birth-Giver of God and ever virgin Mary, with all the Saints, let us commend ourselves, and each other, and all our life unto Christ our God,
R: To Thee, O Lord.

P: For unto Thee are due all glory, honor and worship, to the Father +, and to the Son +, and to the Holy Spirit +, now and ever, and unto all ages of ages,
R: Amen.

P: (Blessing those to be Betrothed)
O eternal God, who has brought into unity those who were sundered, and has ordained for them an indissoluble bond of love; who did bless Isaac and Rebecca, and did make them heirs of thy promise; bless also these thy servants, N. and N., guiding them unto every good work. For thou art a merciful God, who loves mankind, and unto thee do we ascribe glory, to the Father +, and to the Son +, and to the Holy Spirit +, now, and ever, and unto all ages of ages.
R: Amen.

P: Peace be with you all.
R: And with your spirit.

P/D: Bow your heads unto the Lord,
R: To Thee, O Lord,

P: O Lord our God, who has expoused the Church as a pure Virgin from among the Gentiles, Bless this Betrothal, and unite and maintain these thy servants in peace and oneness of mind. For unto thee are due all glory, honor and worship, to the Father and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.
R: Amen.

[[i]Then, taking the rings, the Priest blesses the bridal pair with the rings, making the sign of the cross with the ring of the Bride over the Bridegroom, and with that of the Bridegroom over the Bride, saying three times to the Man[/i]:]
P: The servant of God, N., is betrothed to the handmaid of God, N.: In the Name of the Father +, and of the Son +, and of the Holy Spirit
Man: Amen.
P: The servant of God, N., is betrothed to the handmaid of God, N.: in the Name of the Father +, and of the Son +, and of the Holy Spirit
Man: Amen.
P: The servant of God, N., is betrothed to the handmaid of God, N.: in the Name of the Father +, and of the Son +, and of the Holy Spirit
Man: Amen.

[[i]And to the Woman three times[/i]]
P: The handmaid of God, N., is betrothed to the servant of God, N.: In the Name of the Father +, and of the Son +, and of the Holy Spirit
Woman: Amen.
P: The handmaid of God, N., is betrothed to the servant of God, N.: In the Name of the Father +, and of the Son +, and of the Holy Spirit
Woman: Amen.
P: The handmaid of God, N., is betrothed to the servant of God, N.: In the Name of the Father +, and of the Son +, and of the Holy Spirit
Woman: Amen.

[[i]The Priest then places their rings in their right hands, and the bridal pair exchanges the rings while the Priest says[/i]:]
P: Let us pray to the Lord,
R: Lord, have mercy.
P: O Lord our God, who did accompany the servant of the patriarch, Abraham, into Mesopotamia, when he was sent to expouse a wife for his lord Isaac, and, who, by means of the drawing of water, did reveal unto him that he should betroth Rebecca, do thou, the same Lord, bless also the betrothal of these thy servants, N., and N., and confirm the word which they have spoken. Establish them in the holy union which is from thee, for thou, in the beginning, did make them male and female, and by thee is the woman joined unto the man as a helpmate, and for the procreation of the human race. Wherefore, O Lord our God, who has sent forth thine truth upon thine inheritance, and thy covenant unto thy servants our fathers, even thine elect, from generation to generation, look thou upon thy servant N., and upon thy handmaid N., and establish and make stable their betrothal in faith, and in oneness of mind, in truth and love. Thou O Lord has declared that a pledge should be given and confirmed in all things. By a ring was power given unto Joseph in Egypt; by a ring was Daniel glorified in the land of Babylon; by a ring was the uprightness of Tamar revealed; by a ring did our heavenly Father show forth His bounty upon His Son; for he said, put a ring upon his hand, and bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it, and eat, and make merry. By thine own right hand, O Lord, thou did arm Moses in the Red Sea; by the word of thy truth were the heavens established, and the foundations of the earth were made firm; and the right hands of thy servants shall be blessed also by thy mighty word, and by thine upraised arm. Wherefore, O Lord, do thou now bless this putting on of rings with thy heavenly benediction, and let thine Angel go before them all the days of their life. For thou are He who blesses and sanctifies all things, and unto thee do we ascribe glory, to the Father +, and to the Son +, and to the Holy Spirit +, now, and ever, and unto ages of ages.
R: Amen.[/quote]

[Laudate_Dominum]

The 1983 Code of Canon Law says the following regarding betrothal, or solemn engagement:

[quote]Can. 1062 ß1 A promise of marriage, whether unilateral or bilateral, called an engagement, is governed by the particular law which the Episcopal Conference has enacted, after consideration of such customs and civil laws as may exist. [/quote]

My reading is that the 1983 code basically leaves the particulars of the matter in the hands of the regional Episcopal Conferences.

Well, this is the only thing regarding Canon 1062 that I could find:

[quote]On November 18, 1998, the Latin Rite [i]de iure [/i]members of the National Conference of Catholic Bishops approved complementary legislation for canon 1062§1 of the Code of Canon Law for the Latin Rite dioceses of the United States.

The action was granted [i]recognitio [/i]by the Congregation for Bishops in accord with article 82 of the Apostolic Constitution [i]Pastor Bonus [/i]and issued by decree of the Congregation for Bishops signed by His Eminence Lucas Cardinal Moreira Neves, Prefect, and His Excellency Most Reverend Franciscus Monterisi, Secretary, and dated September 29, 1999.

Complementary Norm: [b]The National Conference of Catholic Bishops intends to issue no norms regarding the promise of marriage as mentioned in canon 1062§1[/b], without prejudice, however, to the prescriptions of canon 1062§2 regarding an action for reparation of damages.

As President of the National Conference of Catholic Bishops, I hereby decree that the effective date of this decree for all the Latin Rite dioceses in the United States will be December 1, 1999.

Given at the offices of the National Conference of Catholic Bishops in Washington, DC, on November 1, 1999.


Most Reverend Joseph A. Fiorenza
Bishop of Galveston-Houston
President, NCCB
Reverend Monsignor Dennis M. Schnurr
General Secretary [/quote]
Essentially the USCCB has no legislation regarding betrothal. The second part of Canon 1062 that is mentioned is simply:
[quote]ß2 No right of action to request the celebration of marriage arises from a promise of marriage, but there does arise an action for such reparation of damages as may be due.[/quote]
This is hardly sufficient guidance for the matter of betrothal. My question is, since the 1983 code really doesn't legislate betrothal but passes the buck to the Bishops conferences, and since the USCCB has no legislation on the matter, is it licit to refer to the prior code of canon law for norms?

In other words, what is the status of norms pertaining to betrothal (solemn engagement) prior to the 1983 code?

[Fides_et_Ratio]

*adds another stipulation to future husband/marriage plans.*

way, way, waaaaaaaaaaaay awesome. SO romantic and holy... it's perfect!

...How tall are you L_D? j/k!

[Laudate_Dominum]

Spread the word Fides. I'm sure most people don't even know about betrothal.

The Byzantine betrothal liturgy is so cool. This is one of my favorite parts:
[quote]Wherefore, O Lord our God, who has sent forth thine truth upon thine inheritance, and thy covenant unto thy servants our fathers, even thine elect, from generation to generation, look thou upon thy servant N., and upon thy handmaid N., and establish and make stable their betrothal in faith, and in oneness of mind, in truth and love. Thou O Lord has declared that a pledge should be given and confirmed in all things. By a ring was power given unto Joseph in Egypt; by a ring was Daniel glorified in the land of Babylon; by a ring was the uprightness of Tamar revealed; by a ring did our heavenly Father show forth His bounty upon His Son; for he said, put a ring upon his hand, and bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it, and eat, and make merry. By thine own right hand, O Lord, thou did arm Moses in the Red Sea; by the word of thy truth were the heavens established, and the foundations of the earth were made firm; and the right hands of thy servants shall be blessed also by thy mighty word, and by thine upraised arm. Wherefore, O Lord, do thou now bless this putting on of rings with thy heavenly benediction, and let thine Angel go before them all the days of their life.[/quote]

But for me the Roman ceremony is almost too perfect to be true.

[Laudate_Dominum]

I'm actually thinking that after I complete my research I will write a booklet about betrothal to distribute on campus.

I've been thinking of so many reasons why it is a the best thing for Catholic couples to do (when their relationship matures to that level of course).. *sigh*

And I might just slip in the blessing of the marriage bed thing too.

[Fides_et_Ratio]

yeah, it's a completely awesome idea L_D... and I can't believe I'd never heard of it before--or that it's not talked about very much today.

If you make a booklet, I'd pass one around my theology classes at ODU.

[Laudate_Dominum]

[quote name='Fides_et_Ratio' date='Aug 28 2005, 03:25 PM']yeah, it's a completely awesome idea L_D... and I can't believe I'd never heard of it before--or that it's not talked about very much today.

If you make a booklet, I'd pass one around my theology classes at ODU.
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[/quote]
Alright! Thank you so much!

I feel like ranting about betrothal.. I spent the drive home from Mass thinking of reasons why it is so awesome, but I should save it for the booklet. When I have an outline put together I'll post it with some notes and things.. Maybe Phatmass can critique and edit the thing and get credit!

Written by: L_D & Phamily.

[Laudate_Dominum]