Catholic Man, Catholic Woman?

[DannyBoy]

Is it an injustice to firmly believe in my heart that should I not meet a Catholic woman...marriage will have to go by the wayside? What do you all think? Can a guy not (L)ove so much as to not (l)ove? Vocations and faith aside...really? I have great faith and continue to descern my true vocation though I nevertheless long for something of a loving relationship with a woman of the Faith...come on...I know there are mor eof you out there just like me. Shout Out!

[Nicole8223]

Well, I personally couldn't imagine being with someone who wasn't just Catholic, but orthodox and fired up about the Church. On the other hand, plenty of people are married to non-Catholics and feel satisfaction in their marriage.

Keep in prayer, talk to a spiritual director if you have one, and let God guide you. There's no clear cut answer.

Your intentions are awesome, and I think if you are called to marriage, God will bring you to a beautiful Catholic women. If you feel called to marriage already, then start praying for her now, that she will stay on the right path.

[avemaria40]

itz ok to want to get married inside the faith. I have decided that the guy i marry should be Catholic or at least Christian, that way, when i have kids, w/out a doubt, they will be Catholic. but i don't think its mean, after all, my Jewish friends aren't prejudiced at all but some of them only want to marry someone who's Jewish, and some of my Christian friends will only date other Christians, but they are the nicest ppl i no, its just they want to share their faith w/the person they love.

[sweetpea316]

I totally understand. However, in my case, it's good to keep an open mind and heart. I always thought I'd meet a nice Lutheran guy and I'd live happily ever after...but then I fell for a guy who is a very strong Catholic. At first things were kinda rough, and I knew that he wanted to be with a girl who was a faithful Catholic herself...but he's been so great with everything and now I'm falling in love with Catholicism and him at the same time... :wub:

[Jaime]

That's a great story Sweetpea!!

It was similar with my father. After my parents divorced, my mother converted to Catholicism. After a long while, my father remarried a Catholic. He spent 20 years being married to a Catholic, having his children be Catholic and going to mass. He'd tithe. Out of respect he wouldn't go up for communion. But he refused to join the Church.

After one very moving experience for him, he went through RCIA and now is more active in the Church than most.

True love will always make our lives better. Sometimes that love leads us to the Church!

[Norseman82]

[quote name='DannyBoy' date='Jul 19 2005, 01:23 PM'] Is it an injustice to firmly believe in my heart that should I not meet a Catholic woman...marriage will have to go by the wayside? What do you all think? Can a guy not (L)ove so much as to not (l)ove? Vocations and faith aside...really? I have great faith and continue to descern my true vocation though I nevertheless long for something of a loving relationship with a woman of the Faith...come on...I know there are mor eof you out there just like me. Shout Out!
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As I am in the same boat, I can say that no, it is not an injustice.

Your first duty is to the faith. Women are secondary. If a non-Catholic (or heterodox or non-practicing Catholic) potential spouse comes between you and your Catholic faith, you must jettison her, as she is an occasion of sin.

Besides, there might be a woman out there in the same position as you and you could be the answer to her prayers. Letting her down would be an even bigger injustice, IMHO.

[Luthien]

*Shouts out* :wavey:Hey...over here.

We're around, don't lose hope.

[DannyBoy]

[quote name='Luthien' date='Jul 19 2005, 08:07 PM']*Shouts out* :wavey:Hey...over here.

We're around, don't lose hope.
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Oh...I won't. And, I'll pray for the lot of us. He will provide.

[jmjtina]

Well, Dannyboy (dude, I want to sing the song) you aren't the only one, but personally I'm leaving it in God's Hands. I've seen so much good happen, even when both parties aren't Catholic, but I've also seen not so good stuff come out when the parties were of different religions.

I'm trusting Him completely. He knows exactly what I need and want in a husband.

But Novena's to my patron saints and asking for intercession from Our Lady sure helps!!!!

[DannyBoy]

[quote name='jmjtina' date='Jul 19 2005, 11:31 PM']Well, Dannyboy (dude, I want to sing the song) you aren't the only one, but personally I'm leaving it in God's Hands. I've seen so much good happen, even when both parties aren't Catholic, but I've also seen not so good stuff come out when the parties were of different religions.

I'm trusting Him completely.  He knows exactly what I need and want in a husband.

But Novena's to my patron saints and asking for intercession from Our Lady sure helps!!!! 
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I appreciate your thoughts...sing away, the pipes are calling!

Say an Ave for me if you could please? I shall do the same for you.

Edited July 20, 2005 by DannyBoy

[ironmonk]

[quote name='DannyBoy' date='Jul 19 2005, 03:23 PM'] Is it an injustice to firmly believe in my heart that should I not meet a Catholic woman...marriage will have to go by the wayside? What do you all think? Can a guy not (L)ove so much as to not (l)ove? Vocations and faith aside...really? I have great faith and continue to descern my true vocation though I nevertheless long for something of a loving relationship with a woman of the Faith...come on...I know there are mor eof you out there just like me. Shout Out!
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Catholic Catholic Catholic....

Do you want your children to think that any other church is ok?

Of course there are those who are Catholic and will say that their marriage is great... but misery loves company... to marry outside one's faith, when one's faith is strong, is not the wisest thing to do. I can understand why nominal Catholics would marry outside the faith, and then they get on fire for the Lord and help convert their spouse.

The most important thing in this life is salvation. Do you want your kids to be confused from the beginning?

Couples who pray together stay together.... will a non-Catholic pray with you a Rosary? Will they go to Mass with you?

Will they tell your kids that you are wrong about God? - They do simply by not being Catholic.

Here is what the Catechism says:

[quote]Mixed marriages and disparity of cult


[b]1633 [/b]
In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.


[b]1634 [/b]
Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.


[b]1635 [/b]
According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139


[b]1636 [/b]
Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.


[b]1637 [/b]
In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."140 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

[/quote]


When I dated, I wanted a Catholic girl, but the girl had to be at least Christian.... but I was a dumb Catholic at the time and did not have the fire that I do now. Then, thank God, I realized that I could not marry a non-Catholic.

I married a Catholic.

If I could do it again, I would only date Catholics that knew their faith and loved it.

I suggest this website....

[url="http://www.StRaphael.net/"]http://www.StRaphael.net/[/url]

[quote]StRaphael.net was launched in June of 1999 with a mission of providing a safe online enviroment in which Catholic singles could meet for the purpose of friendship, dating, marriage and religious vocations. Four years, thousands of members, many engagements and marriages later, StRaphael.net continues to bring faithful Catholics together.

In an effort to spread devotion to this miraculous saint (Raphael) we have launched StRaphael.net with a focus on prayers, devotions, photos, Catholic singles and other things related to Saint Raphael the Archangel. StRaphael.net is loyal to the Holy Father Benedict XVI and the 2000 years of Catholic Church Teaching. We encourage singles to pray to St. Raphael for his intercession in finding a spouse. [/quote]



God Bless!
ironmonk

Edited July 20, 2005 by ironmonk

[MissScripture]

There is always the chance that should you marry someone who is not Catholic they could convert. I've seen 2 cases where that worked out quite well. In fact, the 2 people who converted are now stronger Catholics than most I've seen. On the otherhand, they might not, and could you live knowing that there was that barrier between you and your spouse? At any rate, before I'd marry anyone, I'd make it clear that you intend to remain a faithful Catholic and intend to raise your children in the Catholic church (which I assuming you would...). But then again, you should make that clear to anyone you'd marry. I'd say, leave it in God's hands. He knows what He's doing. (or else we're in BIG TROUBLE!)

[morostheos]

I don't think there are any clear-cut answers. The Catechism doesn't say yes or no absolutely, but that there should be reservations. I used to think I definitely only wanted to marry a Catholic, and I didn't want to date anyone who wasn't Catholic, but then I realized I was saying that, not God. I think what's most important is to follow God's will for you. It may be God's will that you find a Catholic, or maybe that you find someone that's not even Christian, who needs your prayer and sacrifice to become Catholic.

Personally, I've just left it in God's hands. I don't rule anyone out automatically, but I also seriously pray and seek the Holy Spirit's guidance before making any decisions.

[scardella]

[quote name='MissScripture' date='Jul 25 2005, 10:52 PM']At any rate, before I'd marry anyone, I'd make it clear that you intend to remain a faithful Catholic.
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I agree with this approach. It almost requires that the girl I marry be a Catholic, but not quite. I know I'd drive most non-Catholics up the wall with my Catholicness, but I'd be willing to marry one should she know that I'm not going to become non-Catholic, she's supportive (not just ok with) of raising the kids Catholic, and that she has a strong desire for Truth. (Oh, and, btw, she has to like to dance, or else at least one of us would be miserable all the time! )

I think the big thing is discernment. You have to ask God for the graces to see things clearly. Christ embraces the Cross for His Bride, the Church. When you see something that could be problematic, it is either a discouragement or a cross to embrace. Discernment and submission to the Will of God is the Light that will show the difference. If a potential spouse's non-Catholicness would tear down your faith, then run away and don't look back. However, if that same spouse's non-Catholicness would inspire you to greater or even heroic faith, like the road to Calvary, then embrace the Cross, my friend.