Pontifex Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 On the Subject of Lust and Thoughts: First of all a distinction must be made between a sexual thought and a lustful thought. Sexual thoughts are natural, and part of being a human being. They come and go frequently, especially in males. Sex is an amazing gift and it is the strongest drive we have, next to the will to survive. A sexual thought becomes lustful when we pull it down into hearts, by willfully dwelling upon it. If at the moment you realize you are thinking something that is not helpful, and you turn from that, there is no matter for sin present. Yet, if you dwell on it, then of course you have sinned. You cannot keep a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep one from building a nest. Think about it. My advice is not to be scared of the thoughts but to turn them into praises. If you are a male, like myself, that finds women attractive, and you happen to see a woman that knocks your socks off, then simply praise God for the beauty of his creation. Say to God, "Man God, you really did well there, I praise you for that." Keeping in mind the need to have a good control your eyes and being vigilant. The worst thing you can do, is repress all sexual emotion as if it is a bad thing. If you try to be a dictator to the passions, they will revolt. I would like to share a prayer that I pray everyday to Our Blessed Mother: Mother Mary, obtain for me a deep sense of modesty, which will be reflected in my external conduct. Protect my eyes the window of my soul from anything that would dim the luster of a heart that must mirror only Christ-Like purity. And when the bread of angels becomes my food in Holy Communion seal my heart forever against the suggestion of sinful pleasures. May I be numbered among those whom Jesus spoke, "Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God." Peace to you all, and keeping fighting the good fight of faith, Fr. Pontifex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkan_hanil Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 If you are a male, like myself, that finds women attractive, and you happen to see a woman that knocks your socks off, then simply praise God for the beauty of his creation. Say to God, "Man God, you really did well there, I praise you for that." Hahaha! I do that all the time! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanmeyersmusic Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 my experience of sexual vs. lustful is when the idea is demeaning the dignity of the person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pontifex Posted November 18, 2003 Author Share Posted November 18, 2003 I guess any thought of sexual activity with someone you are not committed to could be considered demeaning. My point, is that a thought that comes to mind, whether demeaning or not cannot be considered a sin unless a willfull contemplation of that thought takes place. It becomes a scrupulous splitting of hairs otherwise. Peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IXpenguin21 Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 i was actualy just thinking today whether it was wrong to think of sex on my wedding night; whether that was lust, or anticipation of completing the sacrament and how that could be wrong... i also was not aware that there were "ordained clergy" in the PM boards... very cool. very amesome. B) B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 Lust occurs in marriage as well. A sexual thought becomes a lustful thought when you think of the other person in turms of what you can "get" rather and what you can "give". THat is how lust enters a marriage relationship. I think this is one way porn has affected marriage. During the day, when you see an image that is arousing or intended to arouse lust, when you go home to your spouse, you have to try to remove that image and that lust and approach your spouse as gift and not see them as object. Society makes that harder and harder to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pontifex Posted November 18, 2003 Author Share Posted November 18, 2003 I don't think that sums it up Mother of Pearl. Is it wrong to get something from a relationship? I think as with anything, if it is solely motivated by self, than that would be wrong. But I think it would be a real falsehood, to think that couples don't perform the conjugal act hoping to receive something. Peace to all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pontifex Posted November 18, 2003 Author Share Posted November 18, 2003 Furthermore, Just because something causes arousal does not mean that it is lustful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 (edited) I didn't say it did Father. But if you are going into the marital act to get a piece and not give the gift of yourself you have the wrong attitude. Intentions matter. Edited November 18, 2003 by cmotherofpirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pontifex Posted November 18, 2003 Author Share Posted November 18, 2003 "when you see an image that is arousing or intended to arouse lust" This sounds as if you are saying all arousal is an obstacle to giving yourself in marriage. I am totally with you, that the Conjugal Act, must be an act of self giving. I also think that lust is a problem for married couples. The point of my post is to let young people know, that sexual does not equal sinful, i.e. lustful. Sex rocks. Lust reaks. Peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 (edited) Absolutely I was thinking about the cumulative effect of advertising and TV, most of it is intended to deliberately arouse you with words and images. To switch from those images which are never seen in context of marriage between a man and woman, and always as self-gratification and pleasure, to see your spouse as a gift must seem at times to require herculean efforts. The culture works against us at every turn. Edited November 18, 2003 by cmotherofpirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pontifex Posted November 19, 2003 Author Share Posted November 19, 2003 Mother of Pearl, That is a wonderful insight. I agree that the beauty of sex and sexual expression has been perverted into a complete self gratification experience. Peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God Conquers Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Thank you for the insight Father! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 This is the best thread i've ever read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foundsheep Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 I didn't say it did Father. But if you are going into the marital act to get a piece and not give the gift of yourself you have the wrong attitude. Intentions matter. So does this mean if I am sitting here typing and look at my wife and say hey "she really looks good today and become aroused and then we have sex ,am I lusting or enjoying the beautiful creature God has givin me to bond with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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