Christie_M Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Hey, I just want to hear a funny story that happened, or your favorite jokes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1337 k4th0l1x0r Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 How do you turn regular water into holy water? Boil the hell out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Knight Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 This joke I heard back in October 2001 "Hey ever wonder why there aren't any 'Walmarts' in the middle east? because there all 'Targets.'" I know itsb ad, I changed the joke slightly, its not my favorite but its a okay one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cappie Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Little Mary listened intently in Sunday school while the teacher explained the parable of the “treasure” and “pearl” and gave a detailed description of eternal bliss in heaven. She concluded her class asking the question, “All those who are ready to go to heaven, raise your hands.” Every hand went up except one. “Why, don’t you want to go to heaven, Mary,?” asked the teacher. “Well,” Mary replied, “Mom was baking apple pie when I left home!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cappie Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 The new pastor told the parish council, ' I will work hard to bring us into the 20th century." Someone spoke up, " Uh, Preacher, don't you mean the 21st century?" The pastor replied, " Let's take it one century at a time." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 lol those are good ones cappie! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old_Joe Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 The old pastor, Monsignor Dawson, at my parent's parish had a funny story. Once while he was saying Mass, he started to have problems with the microphone. fortunately, there was a guy in the front row who was an electrician and could help. Monsignor Dawson says to him out loud, "I think there's something wrong with the microphone." to which the entire congregation replies, "And also with you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea316 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Why does Mr. Grape want to leave Mrs. Grape? -Because he's tired of raisen kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Didacus Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Father Les Costello joke: Father Les was a hockey player, and after one of the games he stepped into the shower wearing his underwear. One of his teammates asked why he was taking his shower wihtout removing his underwear. Father Les told him: "I don't like looking down on the unemployed." *LOL* Father Les... he was one of the good ones! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theologian in Training Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 I may have told you this before, but ah well.... So, I was teaching third grade and it just so happened that one of teachers called in and I wound up teaching both third grade classes. Things were going fairly well, and I came to realize that the class I was subbing for were a little more informed than my class. So, I spoke about Adam and Eve and the garden. I asked the class what happened and what the big deal was about Adam and Eve and the garden. A girl from the other class, shot up her hand, and said "They were our first parents and they ate the apple and they were naked." Thinking I may try to draw out the last part, I asked her how they knew they were naked. I was expecting something along the lines that it was the result of their sin or God told them...anything! No, she simply replies, "The wind?" I gave her partial credit God Bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea316 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christie_M Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 good one! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St. Gregory the Great Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 What did the Pope's cook ask him the morning after he became pope? Eggs Benedict?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old_Joe Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 This woman calls up her parish priest and says, "Father, my husband has just died." "Oh no. Did he have any last requests?" "Yes he did. Just before he died, he said, 'Put the gun down, honey'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cappie Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 After Mass a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had." A very innovative liturgy director, a religious sister, danced the offerotry procession in 'attracttive' costumes and playing the banjo. The bishop was presiding on this occasion of the pastor's golden jubilee. As the "dancer" approached the altar the bishop whispered to the pastor: "If she asked for your head on a platter, she'd have it!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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