What To Do About My Grandfather?

[Azriel]

Nathan darlin - I think you have a good grasp is what is going to be best for your situation.

My prayers are with you and Grandpa. And, all your family. :wub:

[marielapin]

Nathan darlin - I think you have a good grasp is what is going to be best for your situation. 

My prayers are with you and Grandpa.  And, all your family. :wub:

Ditto. I can understand your situation, it is similar in my family. My only advice is to pray, and try and discern what God is telling you to do.

[_bc]

So your grandfather probably knows you're Catholic or at least in some sort of contact with a Catholic priest. Do you think it's possible he is asking you to come to bible study and church with him because he hopes to turn you away from what he thinks is a heresy? Or is he asking you to come because he thinks your being present will somehow soften the blow from being without his wife?

In the first case, you wouldn't be doing him a favour by going with him, in the second case you should probably postpone telling him you're Catholic.

Just my fifth of a dime.

[hyperdulia again]

donna, i forget that you are a convert. you should write your conversion story, i know some of the basics, but i bet it's amesome, amesome, to-tally, amesome!

[Good Friday]

So your grandfather probably knows you're Catholic or at least in some sort of contact with a Catholic priest. Do you think it's possible he is asking you to come to bible study and church with him because he hopes to turn you away from what he thinks is a heresy? Or is he asking you to come because he thinks your being present will somehow soften the blow from being without his wife?

I think he could have a mixture of reasons, but I don't think his sole purpose is my conversion to the church of Christ.

Just thanking everyone again for adding their advice.

[Good Friday]

So, first of all I missed Mass this morning. I have not actually gone to Mass or Confession since I decided to come back to the Church, probably because I am simply afraid and ashamed to confess almost all of the same things I confessed before my Confirmation in April. Now I will also have to confess missing like five Sunday Masses in a row.

To top that all off, even though I didn't go to Mass this morning -- which I'm obligated to do -- I now have to go to church with my grandfather this evening. Y'know, sometimes I don't know how I'm supposed to be Catholic (not that I'm going to stop, but it's frustrating). My grandfather is a rabid anti-Catholic, my mother is a closet anti-Catholic (meaning that she thinks she's okay with the Catholic Church, but her pro-abortion, pro-euthanasia, pro-homosexuality, pro-contraception, pro-divorce, etc. stances are anti-Catholic), her partner is an atheist, my father (who is absent, so he doesn't really matter) is a Baptist, and the only woman who was ever truly proud of me for becoming a Catholic is dead.

So, naturally, I feel bad for going to my grandfather's heretical church but not meeting my Sunday obligation to go to Mass. Does any of my family care? Of course not. My grandfather doesn't even know I'm Catholic, and God knows my mother doesn't care because she thinks it's stupid that I can't receive communion at his church anyway (she hasn't said that, but she does). If I could just tell him I'm Catholic, this would probably be a moot issue, but how can I tell him when he's already so upset all the time anyway? And she's so upset all the time too. And everyone is so upset, all the time, except me. I'm not allowed to ever be upset. I'm not allowed to say no to these things they ask me to do that are contrary to my faith, because it might upset them. Do you know how tired I am of caring whether or not they get upset because I, unlike them, choose to follow Jesus instead of a pseudo-Christianity that feels good to me?

But it doesn't matter. I'll go to church with him anyway. I'll probably receive communion too, which will be yet another mortal sin. I might as well just tack it on, God knows I've accumulated enough of them over the past two months and not bothered to go to Confession. If I don't receive communion, there will be a big scene, he'll get upset, she'll get upset, I'll be the evil Catholic who actually does what his Church says, etc. So who knows what I'll do. Nobody ever knows what I'll do, do they? Well, y'all have gotten a glimpse today of why it's so hard for me to be faithful. Because my family is so opposed to a faithful Catholic that they make it ten times more difficult for me to be faithful than it is for normal people.

Meanwhile, I can't stand my family (any of them, not even my mother), and I look forward to the day when I can be rid of them.

[hyperdulia again]

I'm still prayin'...

feel better..don't recieve their "communion"...go to confession...

[Good Friday]

I really need the prayers. I want to do everything you said in your post, Hyper, but today I can't do anything alone. I'm in no spiritual position to do anything remotely good on my own today. I've skipped one too many Masses, and now I feel the loss of so many graces that I could have had, which I've only brought on myself. But when you are so spiritually screwed that you can't even love your own family, I'd say prayers are needed.

[_bc]

I have not actually gone to Mass or Confession since I decided to come back to the Church, probably because I am simply afraid and ashamed to confess almost all of the same things I confessed before my Confirmation in April.

Nathan,

Remember: You don't have to be worthy, just willing. Anyone who only confesses each type of sin once must be either a living saint or a liar. Which is why I think hearing confessions - always the same ones, over and over again - must be the most boring thing priests have to do. Also, while you, like all of us, may be unique, it's not because of your sins. God knows about them anyway, so there's no need to be afraid of confessing them.

I'll even go so far as to pray that you'll find resolve in your faith.

Edited November 16, 2003 by _bc

[marielapin]

I'm praying for you, buddy.

[jasJis]

Nathan,

Don't lose hope, and don't fool yourself that you have to be perfect. Don't confuse non-catholic with anti-catholic. Do the best you can, even after you fall. It's that uncomplicated, but that tough. You are in my prayers at every mass I attend, before, during the prayers of the faithful, and after communion. You aren't all alone. Lot's of people are praying for you. Get to confession. Tell the priests your problems. It's hard to do, I know. But the spiritual strrength is worth it. At least you lighten your burden.

May Christ's strength and peace be with you,

jasJis

[Good Friday]

Regretfully, I received communion at the church of Christ. The pressure not to hurt my grandfather was just too much, and I caved. But I know it was a sin. Unlike with some other sins, I could feel the sinfulness of it as I was doing it. I know now, perhaps better than before, why it's such a serious sin. It's a sin against authentic Christian unity, because receiving communion with them and saying that you're unified with them is a lie.

I'm happy to say that I won't be going back. The pastor railed against Catholics (and other Protestants, but mostly Catholics), and when I came home so upset and angry my mom told me that she didn't want me to go anymore and that she would go with him from now on. The whole sermon was railing against Catholics or those of other Protestant denominations for their beliefs in infant Baptism and sprinkling/pouring vs. immersion. It had nothing positive in it whatsoever. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life.

But I won't have to go back. I don't think I could anyway, because it's obvious that the pressure of the situation is just too much of an occasion of sin for me. I couldn't resist the pressure to receive communion, as much as I wanted to resist it and as much as I hated every minute of it. I think going back would be a sin in and of itself, because I would be throwing myself knowingly into Satan's reach.

Thank you for your prayers. Please continue to pray that I'll be able to make a good Confession. I'll be calling my priest about it tomorrow.

[marielapin]

Let us know how it goes with your priest. I'm sorry it was such a bad experience. You must have been really angry if your mom said she would go with him. Wow.

[Dave]

Nathan, I know how hard it is to confess the same sins over and over. I've done it plenty of times! But you know what? I've been told that if you don't have the same sins to confess over and over, something might be wrong.

[cmotherofpirl]

Nathan its ok.

Remember St Peter denied Jesus 3 times because he was scared, under pressure, and he gave in. He turned out pretty well.

Repent, confess, do penance, and avoid the occasion of sin.

God wants perfection but is happy that we keep trying.

Catholics are permitted to attend non-catholic services as long as they don't recieve communion, participate ( best man in a wedding ,baptism etc) or miss their Sunday obligation.