How do you know

[bookwyrm]

*sigh*
Unrequited love stinks.

[Scofizzle]

use your feelings

[Q the Ninja]

[quote name='Birgitta Noel' date='May 19 2005, 11:24 AM'] Cam, being in love with a person should be the same kind of love. We are called to love our spouses as Christ loved the Church. To lay our lives down for them and to guide them to heaven! [/quote]
Married couples are called to love in the same way, but there is an extra grace (needed) for loving the Church the way the Priest does...it's a higher calling, so you can't really say they're they same.

As for falling in love online, I don't think you can be in love until you have met in person...Plato says in his [i]Symposium[/i] that you actually begin at the physical level and move up from there...Also, there is the idea that the person is soul AND body. You cann't separate the two.

[Jaime]

Yes but Plato was rather bitter about the fact that he never did well in online dating!!

[Q the Ninja]

You know what's funny about Plato...he considered the soul trapped by the body.

Plato and Online dating do mix...just oppositely. DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY MAJOR!
















J/K.

[melporcristo]

I really like what everyone has said about this; sorry if I sounded a little pessamistic about whether or not you will be able to love someone else again, because it is really hard. With my ex, I broke up with him because I realized the very thing many have mentioned: I wasn't loving Christ first. So after, I started discerning whether I am called to the religious life ... well it's been almost a year, and I just still miss my ex and pray about him a lot. We had a lot of good laughs together, but we also made a lot of mistakes in our relationship when it came to purity. I really think it's hard to "start over" with him even though I see the bike he rebuilt for me for my b-day, which I ride as much as I can, and I also think about if I was to get married and how my husband would feel if I still had that bike. I dont know ... right now I am just worrying too much! But the best thing for now is to hope, pray and not to worry as Padre Pio said

As for what love is, I have a true example of what love is that I witnessed tonight: It was like 10:30 in the evening and my little bro was hungry and wanted cereal. My dad was getting ready to go to bed, but heard my bro complain there was no milk. A little annoyed, my dad got up and put on his jacket and told us he'd be back. 15 min. later, he came in with a carton of milk.

It's all about those acts of kindness that continue to show me what love really is.

[iggy]

[quote name='Raphael' date='May 19 2005, 11:58 AM'] Delphia-this is brotherly love. It's what allows us to live in societal structure, to have manners and social mores, and to will good for others, based on empathy.
[/quote]
Micah, Isn't it Philios or something like that? I don't mind if I am wrong, but I read that, and it doesn't sit right with me.

[Andrea348]

[quote name='iggy' date='May 20 2005, 12:52 AM'] Micah, Isn't it Philios or something like that? I don't mind if I am wrong, but I read that, and it doesn't sit right with me. [/quote]
yeah....i thought it was philia

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='iggy' date='May 18 2005, 03:36 PM'] When you wake up in the morning and pray that they have a good and holy day, and then miss them all day, and pray for them again when you go to bed at night.
When they go on a retreat and you spend the whole weekend praying that God works for him while he is gone.
When you find out he skipped out on daily mass and call him as soon as you get home to make sure he is okay.
When you can come to him and ask him to pray for your random cousins.
When something bad happends and he does everything he can to make things okay for you, even when it makes things worse for him, and you do the reverse.
When you know eachother so well, you can tell when the other is up to something. [/quote]
sounds like a good friend to me. *is confused*

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='AngelofJesus' date='May 18 2005, 05:38 PM'] JMJ

If God wants you together, not only will it feel right, but you will also find that everytime you are with that person it will feel like it was blessed. Like He is permitting that relationship. The devil will not attack to destroy or seperate the relationship, rather he will attack your actions inside that relationship.

I have been married for 10 years and before I met my wife, I had 3 other relationships which lasted for a few months. None of my previous relationships felt right, like there were obstacles (i.e., character, situations, distance). Like I was pushing it. When my wife came along, there was nothing that kept us from saying yes to each other. The only obstacle we had was the timing of the wedding.

I hope this helps or contributes to your wealth of wisdom in discerning your vocation.

If you have anymore questions or if you are curious about something, please feel free to ask away.

Your Brother in Christ,
Angelo [/quote]
I don't consider distance to be an obstacle. Maybe that is a little bit harder but I do not find this to be something that should keep people away from each other in the marriage sense.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='geetarplayer' date='May 18 2005, 10:06 PM'] As compared to face-to-face conversations and phone calls, the internet lacks the body language in face-to-face conversations and the voice inflections in both. Also, "lol" is no substitute for human laughter. E-mails don't have eyes, and you can't touch an instant messanger. There isn't even a guarantee that you have their complete attention for the duration of the conversation. [/quote]
what about phone calls mixed with internet?

[Nicole8223]

[quote]sounds like a good friend to me. *is confused* [/quote]

Good point...

Actually, the best compliment my boyfriend and I ever got was that we really seemed like best friends. I think it is so important to love one another as friends and see each other as people, instead of a love interest when you begin to develop strong feelings for someone.

So what's the difference between being in love and being close friends?
I think there are tons of similarities. But being in love involves more self-sacrifice. I love the way Theology of the Body describes it (marital love, at least): TRUE, TOTAL, FAITHFUL, AND FRUITFUL. Being in love has to have those things too. Not in the same way as it will be in marriage, but there is an element of true, real commitment, and the fruits of virtue and prayer. The commitment part is important. Someone you are in love with may take precedence over your friends (which doesn't mean dis your friends for your new hunny, but you get the point). They have a higher place in your thoughts and priorities than a friend. Plus, with someone you are in love with, there is atttraction and feelings that run deeper than they do for friends.

I don't know if this helps or makes sense...I am trying to think as I type, but it's hard to come up with a lot of differences between being in love and being a friend. There's a definite difference, but it's hard to pinpoint.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='argent_paladin' date='May 19 2005, 12:30 AM'] If your family and her family are happy about you two being together. [/quote]
i disagree

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='Nicole8223' date='May 20 2005, 09:28 AM']
Good point...

Actually, the best compliment my boyfriend and I ever got was that we really seemed like best friends. I think it is so important to love one another as friends and see each other as people, instead of a love interest when you begin to develop strong feelings for someone.

So what's the difference between being in love and being close friends?
I think there are tons of similarities. But being in love involves more self-sacrifice. I love the way Theology of the Body describes it (marital love, at least): TRUE, TOTAL, FAITHFUL, AND FRUITFUL. Being in love has to have those things too. Not in the same way as it will be in marriage, but there is an element of true, real commitment, and the fruits of virtue and prayer. The commitment part is important. Someone you are in love with may take precedence over your friends (which doesn't mean dis your friends for your new hunny, but you get the point). They have a higher place in your thoughts and priorities than a friend. Plus, with someone you are in love with, there is atttraction and feelings that run deeper than they do for friends.

I don't know if this helps or makes sense...I am trying to think as I type, but it's hard to come up with a lot of differences between being in love and being a friend. There's a definite difference, but it's hard to pinpoint. [/quote]
I know what you mean. I guess it was because for a while I struggled with knowing if I was [i]in[/i] love with a good friend of mine. So when I see descriptions like that one then I wonder again. I think I'll just leave my decision where it was.

[Mrs. Bro. Adam]

[quote name='hot stuff' date='May 18 2005, 02:44 PM'] This is a spinoff of the thread "Men, Where are all the good ones?"

So how do you know when you've found the one you're in love with? How would you describe that relationship? What's it going to look like? How do you interact differently with your true love than with someone you've only dated?


I'm curious to hear what folks think! [/quote]
You're not gonig to like my answer, but here goes anyways........







Answer: You......just......know...


Yep, that's it. You just know. There are no signs, there are no feelings, you just know.