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BLAZEr

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Just got home from CL (ya I'm young but I do what I want). It was a cool night, but I think a lot of people walked away confused. Phil decided we needed homework so here it is: Everyday strive to live in reality and not the reality you choose to see.

I love that assignment. I know it will be hard and I won't want to sometimes, but I think it is so important. My experience has taught me that the reality I am shown/ the reality I choose to see is not always the true reality. I am working on seeing things for what they really are, and in doing that I find it much easier to see Christ all around me. He is at the origin of everything, so he is intrinsic to the reality which lies around us.

Other stuff was discussed, but that is the part I'm stuck on. Other people need to put their $.02 in to get a full picture of the night.

Edited by track2004
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Can I just say. I have such fond memories of you kat, and brooke, and julie, and emily and all of you . . .

Seriously, I wish we weren't so far apart.

Schnikeys! Oh well, that's life.

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can you explain more of what the difference between reality, and the reality we choose to see?? I'm not sure I'm really understanding.

Ok, I'm going to try to explain. You know what reality is, the whole picture, the under lying truth (other stuff but I'm pretty sure that's the part you get). The reality you choose to see is different because of things like denial or overly optimistic/ pesimistic veiws. I'm trying to think of a good example... <thinks and thinks and thinks (because track is slow (hehe that's funny))>. Ok let's say you're going with a guy and he sees you more of a status symbol rather than a person he honestly cares about. You of course thinks his feelings are sincere even though all of your friends are telling you otherwise. That is not living in reality, because you choose to ignore what every sign points to.

I don't know if that is a good enough example, maybe one of the other CLers can do better...

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Desiringmore and Schmandi....Do you ask me my truth because you want to know or do you ask me this truth so that I will KNOW?

Both:)

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I think...I think that I am sacared to share the truth. Until I am fully aware of this truth and accept that it is the truth I don't know if I can share. When i say what I feel it is like it becomes concrete or real...I don't want to share what I think is the truth before I KNOW it is the truth.

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I think I'm beginning to understand what you are talking about, Track.

I think we often times want to live in the reality we choose to see, especially when it comes to dealing with people and relationships. We often don't recognize what is really there in a person, we see what we want to be there. But this can be both good and bad. It is bad when we see what is not there because we are clouded with emotions and we allow ourselves to overlook things that can be potentially harmful to us or to other people, like in the example you gave.

However, it is not necessarily bad, because often times we see potential in people. We see what is not quite there, but could be. And while this isn't exactly living in reality, it allows the other person to discover themselves and their humanity. Often times, I am amazed by what others see in me that I fail to see in myself, and it's through these people looking through me, through my failings, through my sometimes rough exterior, that I discover who I really am. I discover what my fullest human self is, even if I don't live that fullest human self every day (though I'm trying to). I'm not sure if this is what you guys were talking about, or if this makes any sense, but there's my 2 cents

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Often times, I am amazed by what others see in me that I fail to see in myself, and it's through these people looking through me, through my failings, through my sometimes rough exterior, that I discover who I really am.  I discover what my fullest human self is, even if I don't live that fullest human self every day (though I'm trying to). 

Actually SallyCat and I were talking about this today during Current Events. A lot of the time other people can see you better than you can see yourself. I find this happens in my life a little more than I would like it to, but I'm working on it. I'm glad you pointed it out though, because seeing yourself in reality is one of the hardest thing to do (in my opinion anyway). I think sometimes my friends see me better than I ever could and they help me become the person I want to be.

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I think sometimes my friends see me better than I ever could and they help me become the person I want to be.

YAY for friends:)

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I just got home from GS, yes i am a kid and it's late I am sure i will suffer the consequences in the morning; so if I am absent from PM for days, weeks, months, even years you will know why...So I just got home and I am still on a high and that is good because i am not on a low. This high may be different, it seems to be anyway, it seems like it is kind of leveled off. instead of having that pain in side of me, it is almost replaced by a happy feeling or maybe it's just that the pain is not there so it's better than before.

So I come from GS, confused but don't I always, yet coming from it this time...well, this time they have shown me something. I have come away with so many ideas to share; some i need to share, others i want to share, others i probably am putting a little more trust in you than I would like or should, but I am going to share anyway in hopes that i can grow from it and that you can grow from it as well.

I've be shown that i need to face my reality and to be honest i am scared. When I say i hate my reality I do believe that i used the wrong word or phrase. I am scared of my reality and i think that i hate the fact that i am having a very very very hard time facing my reality. Growing up i was the happy kid, grandma's favorite, teacher's pet, the "smarter" kid, the "good" one. This sunk in I was always wanting to do the right thing and never break the rules....Soon I now can see,(I think i recognize a reality of mine), that I always treied to be perfect, knowing full well that no one can be perfect, but i was going to be darn close. When I couldn't reach my goals/standards that I set for myself, which were way to high, i stopped trying(sp?) I know now that you never stop and you don't set impossible goals, but do I anyways sometimes? yes. I am working on that.

So I guess those weren't the realities that i am scared of, because i just typed them out easier than you could have imagined...

What am i scared of? Or from another posting What is my truth? I think i can answer both of these at once because my truth is my reality and I am scared of my reality. Therefore i am scared of my truth.

I am scared of failing at whatever it may be...In school and i have already done that to a certain extent...failing my mom sometimes i feel like i have done that, because I know she knows i can reach higher and i have failed to do so....Failed myself I have not met my expecxtations/standards/goals that I have put in front of myself.

One was of coping for me is procrastination for example, I have not turned in any college applications, because I am scared of every aspect of college. A more NOW moment, you ask how can she not get more now than applying to college, applying to college was a last semester thing. Well i have a paper due tomorrow and i have yet to start on it and I am right now typing to you and telling you about the realities that i am scared of....While i am telling you of my realities i am avoiding one at the moment.

I liked the assignment today and I think it should be my assignment, as everyones elses, each and everyday of my life, because IF YOU ARE NOT FACING REALITY YOU ARE NOT REALLY LIVING. <~~See that statement, either I just thought of that right now or someone told me before and I was listening, but I wasn't fully there...So if you have told me that before please take credit where credit is due, but i think that is what i learned from tonite....I desire to learn more. more about me, more about you, and most importantly more about HIM.

I hope it makes sense to you...it really helped me "talk this out" with y'all.

Thank you for making/helping me see my reality.

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em and blazer, i'm sorry i wasn't here at all. my mom is very sick, stage 4 lyphoma, i'm a mess and can't find time, will etc. to do SC.

sorry guys ... i feel alone. my 'advance parole" to be able to leave US and come back is still in the air.

my mom needs me, so as soon as possible i'm leaving with my kids to be with her. that is why i didn't come to diaconia, i thought i would already be with her but the INS is stoping me ... they became very strickt since 9/11.

oh well, just wanted to let you know i'm still alive and thinking of all of you. maybe we'll meet next year.

matea

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