You Know You're A Liberal If . . .

[Dave]

Found this at the Clements Family Home Page (www.linda.net). It's old, as it was written when the Clintons were still in the White House, but I thought it was still worth a read.

You Know You're a Liberal If . . .

by Don Feder

What is a liberal? In election years, they’re particularly hard to find. Even the president and first lady—who do the PC tango to the tune of "Blowin’ in the Wind" –shun the label.

Last week, Hillary guru and retro-New Leftist Michael Lerner held a Summit on Ethics and Meaning in D.C. Among other exotic proposals, the 1,300 delegates endorsed forcing businesses to give parents a year of paid leave and replacing college SATs with "empathy training."

Weird though they are, these people at least know what they are. Many of the afflicted are ignorant of their condition. For these unfortunates, we offer a handy guide to political self-identification…..

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A LIBERAL IF……..

You think sexual harassment is rampant, date rape pervasive, domestic violence common and Paula Jones is lying. You hate Hillary jokes.

You pale at the execution of child killers, but defend the killing of unborn children as an expression of choice. You think trees have feelings, animals can conceptualize and the fetus is a blob of protoplasm.

You are convinced that Frank Capra films and Norman Rockwell paintings are lies and distortions, but "Platoon", "Dances with Wolves" and "Thelma and Louise" are realistic. You thought Walt Disney was saccharine sweet and terminally cutesy-pie—until it made "Pocahontas."

You think a moment of silent prayer at the beginning of the school day constitutes government indoctrination and an intrusion of parental authority, while sex education, condom distribution and multiculturalism are values-neutral.

You agonize over threats to the natural environment (acid rain, toxic waste) but are oblivious to threats to the social environment. (pornography, promiscuity, and family dissolution).

You want to legalize cocaine and outlaw handguns. You think cops are pigs and criminals are products of their environment.

You believe the National Rifle Association helps criminals while the American Civil Liberties Union protects the innocent.

You think Rush Limbaugh is responsible for the Oklahoma City bombing but are outraged by suggestions that Ted Kaczynski (the suspected Unabomber) and Al Gore have anything in common.

Jesse Jackson makes sense to you. Barbra Streisand makes even more sense. You think Herblock cartoons are funny and Janet Reno is totally hot.

You believe corporate profits are obscene but government spending is too low and the American people are under taxed. You think deficits are caused by tax loopholes.

You think marriage is obsolete—except for homosexuals. You believe homosexuality is genetically determined, but fascism and spouse abuse aren’t. You think AIDS is spread by insufficient funding.

You consider the Catholic bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and welfare cuts, but dangerous fanatics trying to legislate their theology when they defend the right to life.

You are convinced that proponents of welfare reform hate the poor and opponents of affirmative action hate minorities, but AIDS activists who bash the pope and People for the American Way types who go psycho over Protestant "fundamentalists" are guardians of democracy.

You attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation. You think the black middle class is a myth created by Newt Gingrich.

You view race riots as justifiable expressions of rage over injustice and fail to see the similarities between a black mob burning a Korean store and a white mob in the Jim Crow era lynching a black man.

You don’t understand all of the whining about affirmative action and are more than willing to sacrifice someone else’s employment or education opportunity to assuage your guilt.

You marched against American involvement in Vietnam, thought the Gulf War was unnecessary, but believe 25,000 U.S. troops in Bosnia are vital to our national interests.

You see no correlation between welfare and the rise of illegitimacy, judicial leniency and surging crime rates, or addiction and an entertainment industry that glorifies drug abuse. But you believe Richard Nixon is responsible for everything horrible that’s happened in the past quarter century.

You think those child-abusing, religious fanatics at Waco had it coming but the illegal immigrants roughed up by California deputies—after leading them on a high-speed chase—are the victims of the decade.

Lastly, you’re a liberal if……you don’t get the point of this column.

[Paladin D]

:lol: Have to save that.

[ironmonk]

I think he left out....

You think that oral sex is not sex.

You think that character has nothing to do with someone in public office.

You think that most movie stars are highly intelligent and should speak publically.

You think that it's ok if someone lies as long as it's not to you.

You think that children should be taught in school that it's ok to have two fathers, but do not force Catholic morals on soceity.

etc...

God Bless!

ironmonk

Edited October 23, 2003 by ironmonk

[jmjtina]

you know what's crazy? My friend gave me a book that was left at a hotel she works at. It was a big conference for preists and nuns. Anyway to make a long story short, a "Catholic" book was left and she brought it to me b/c i like books, especially Catholic stuff. Well, it is TOTALLY LIBERAL!!!!!

"Rome Has Spoken" It basically says that change is possible on ALL teachings, particularly on women ordination, contraception, clerical celibacy and infallibility! All the contributing authors are from liberal colleges and non-catholic colleges.

As Gollum/Smeagol of LOTR's would say:

They are Tricksy, False. They will lie to you and cheats you!

Anyway what made it sad was what kind of conference was held?

Those crazy liberals......they change thier minds at every decade.

[ironmonk]

you know what's crazy? My friend gave me a book that was left at a hotel she works at.  It was a big conference for preists and nuns.  Anyway to make a long story short, a "Catholic" book was left and she brought it to me b/c i like books, especially Catholic stuff.  Well, it is TOTALLY LIBERAL!!!!!

"Rome Has Spoken" It basically says that change is possible on ALL teachings, particularly on women ordination, contraception, clerical celibacy and infallibility! All the contributing authors are from liberal colleges and non-catholic colleges. 

As Gollum/Smeagol of LOTR's would say:

They are Tricksy, False.  They will lie to you  and cheats you!

Anyway what made it sad was what kind of conference was held? 

Those crazy liberals......they change thier minds at every decade.

I think that book goes past being Catholic liberal straight to heresy.

This post was about political liberal. Someone can be leaning toward being a liberal Catholic and still be politically conservative.

Catholic understanding (conservative) for the most part comes from grace... political understanding comes from having sound logic and actually know what's going on in the world in the rhelm of what works, and what doesn't.

For example, the most Christian system would be true and pure communism (everybody getting an equal share of wealth), but we know communism does not work because of human nature.... someone always tries to take the power. So, the Republic system mixed with Captialism works the best, provided we have a majority of Christians in the country making the choices.

Our number one concern should be the spiritual welfare of others, then the physical needs as a close second. i.e. avoid anyone anti-life, pro-contraception, godless, etc...

Because when it comes down to it... the phycial is only temporary, but the spiritual is forever.

God Bless,

ironmonk

[M.SIGGA]

Some of these are funny, but as a Catholic and a minority living in the south, I think a few of these are not funny, and are a little bit offensive. Without some of those liberals I wouldn't have the rights that I exercise freely today, including being able to graduate from a formerly desegregated Catholic school and not having to sit in a colored balcony in our city's cathedral like my parents did. This post won't mean a lot to people whose families have never experienced this type of humiliation and injustice but it means lot to me. Martin Luther King and John XXIII were liberals in their day and they should be an example of how all liberal ideas are not bad. Once upon a time many of the great conservative institutions today would not have looked at me the same way as many of you.

[mp15]

Some of these are funny, but as a Catholic and a minority living in the south, I think a few of these are not funny, and are a little bit offensive. Without some of those liberals I wouldn't have the rights that I exercise freely today, including being able to graduate from a formerly desegregated Catholic school and not having to sit in a colored balcony in our city's cathedral like my parents did. This post won't mean a lot to people whose families have never experienced this type of humiliation and injustice but it means lot to me. Martin Luther King and John XXIII were liberals in their day and they should be an example of how all liberal ideas are not bad. Once upon a time many of the great conservative institutions today would not have looked at me the same way as many of you.

I'm sure you are aware that some of the biggest racists this country has produced have come from the Demcratic Party right? The Rebublicans are to blame for it all right? As soon as we as a country get over the idea that the Democrats are the party for the minorites and the the Republicans are not, then a better country it will be.

[JP2Iloveyou]

I'm sure you are aware that some of the biggest racists this country has produced have come from the Demcratic Party right? The Rebublicans are to blame for it all right? As soon as we as a country get over the idea that the Democrats are the party for the minorites and the the Republicans are not, then a better country it will be.

The man nominated for President Pro Tempore of the United States Senate by the democrats was Sen. Robert Byrd from West Virginia. I just want all of you to be aware that Sen. Byrd was a leader in the KKK before being elected to the United States Senate. Even as recently as two years ago, he used the word n----- on national television, twice in about a two minute time spot, and was not called out on it, yet Trent Lott and Rush Limbaugh have their names ruined by the thought police in the media.

[mp15]

The man nominated for President Pro Tempore of the United States Senate by the democrats was Sen. Robert Byrd from West Virginia.  I just want all of you to be aware that Sen. Byrd was a leader in the KKK before being elected to the United States Senate.  Even as recently as two years ago, he used the word n----- on national television, twice in about a two minute time spot, and was not called out on it, yet Trent Lott and Rush Limbaugh have their names ruined by the thought police in the media.

Yep JP, it's called a double standard. All for the sake of making it appear as if the Democrats are the only ones that care about minorities.

[vianney]

Ha Ha now THAT I do agree with mp. I think it is carp how we Republicans have this double standard.

[mp15]

Ha Ha now THAT I do agree with mp. I think it is carp how we Republicans have this double standard.

See, we don't always disagree :)

[Azriel]

There are racists everywhere, but I don't think that M. Sigga said that there weren't racist democrats.

[mp15]

There are racists everywhere, but I don't think that M. Sigga said that there weren't racist democrats.

Maybe not, but then what was he implying with his statement? That Democrats care more for minorites? That's what it sounds like to me.

[M.SIGGA]

Wow I'm really amazed. I never said anything about Republicans and Democrats, and I was not attacking any particular group - I actually thought the post was funny. I was really offended by the minority statements and you all have turned my reply into something concerning our nation's political party system. There are liberal republicans and liberal democrats, and there are conservative reps and dems too. I never said anything to promote one political party. Republicans were responsible for founding the NAACP and registering black voters in the South, and most of my family are Republicans. I usually support Rep and I even voted Rep in the last Gov. election two weeks ago b/c there is a chance LA can pass some good anti-abortion legislation. I have said on other threads that I don't like GW Bush and I'm sticking by that, but that had absolutly nothing to do with my reply. I don't know why I'm trying to prove myself to a bunch of people who are constantly on the defensive w/o the ability to sympathize and step outside of their comfort zone for just a minute to consider someone else's point of view.

I never said anything about Dems and Rep being racist and you both have blown my reply really out of proportion - I don't even think you read it. I'll keep my mouth shut on this topic b/c I've obviously treaded onto territory where I'm not welcome.

[JP2Iloveyou]

Wow I'm really amazed. I never said anything about Republicans and Democrats, and I was not attacking any particular group - I actually thought the post was funny. I was really offended by the minority statements and you all have turned my reply into something concerning our nation's political party system. There are liberal republicans and liberal democrats, and there are conservative reps and dems too. I never said anything to promote one political party. Republicans were responsible for founding the NAACP and registering black voters in the South, and most of my family are Republicans. I usually support Rep and I even voted Rep in the last Gov. election two weeks ago b/c there is a chance LA can pass some good anti-abortion legislation. I have said on other threads that I don't like GW Bush and I'm sticking by that, but that had absolutly nothing to do with my reply. I don't know why I'm trying to prove myself to a bunch of people who are constantly on the defensive w/o the ability to sympathize and step outside of their comfort zone for just a minute to consider someone else's point of view.

I never said anything about Dems and Rep being racist and you both have blown my reply really out of proportion - I don't even think you read it. I'll keep my mouth shut on this topic b/c I've obviously treaded onto territory where I'm not welcome.

Sigga, I didn't mean to imply that. My apologies if I did. All I'm saying is that there is a double standard in this country when it comes to race relations. You as a racial minority surely know that. We always hear about the "black vote" as if African-Americans are incapable of thinking for themselves and have to vote as a block. Again, Trent Lott was torn apart in the media for what he said about Strom Thurmond, as he should have been, and Rush Limbaugh was harshly criticized for daring to say that Donovan McNabb is overrated. I'll bet half the media pundits that called for his head on a platter couldn't have even told you who Donovan McNabb was prior to Rush Limbaugh talking about him. Does anyone call Robert Byrd out though for being in the KKK and using the n word on national television TWICE? He didn't even catch himself after he used the word the first time, he just said it again in the next breath.

The fact of the matter is that minorities are looked at as groups and are divided against each other. This is not a political discussion board, but I think religion and politics are very similar to each other. That's why I'm studying both. I am not calling you a liberal, a conservative, a democrat, a republican. I'm just pointing out media bias in the country.