spathariossa Posted January 13, 2005 Author Share Posted January 13, 2005 "You know nothing of my Bernard, mother!" The girl snapped in irritation and stalked back into the house flopping onto her bed; why could nobody understand the truth when it was plainly heard, why were they so stupid, why was the ceiling moving and changing colors? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 (edited) The room spun, because she knew what they were all to afraid to face--capri pants are just horribly unflattering on some women. Edited January 13, 2005 by hyperdulia again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spathariossa Posted January 13, 2005 Author Share Posted January 13, 2005 Alex awoke with a look of confusion on his face and a firm resolution to give up his use of recreational drugs. He felt a lump to the side of him and turned to see another man looking back at him, "...." he said coherently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 The man replied, "The French." And with this Alex knew at last, his father had NOT been killed by pygmies. "Dad, what are you doing here?" The man replied, "I am not here. I am there. You are here." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spathariossa Posted January 13, 2005 Author Share Posted January 13, 2005 "If I'm here and you're there then where are all the pygmies? Mother assured me that you had been gruesomely murdered by pygmies in the amazon." Alex looked at the bag his father was holding, "Dad? Did you eat ALL of my magic mushrooms?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 "No son. Be one with the Universe, I am the Mushroom, as are you. Everything infuses everything." Alex realized a great and deep truth in that moment--not only was his father not killed by pygmies, but his father was Oprah Winfrey, literally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spathariossa Posted January 13, 2005 Author Share Posted January 13, 2005 So that was why she'd been having all the shows about transsexuals lately - not that he was watching them or anything -never. Alex looked up from his idle thoughts and shrugged, "If you say so Dad, I'm going downstairs to get something to eat." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Once he was downstairs, Alex made a sandwich out of cinnamon and gold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spathariossa Posted January 13, 2005 Author Share Posted January 13, 2005 (I admit it, you're crazier than me) Gold was of course, the brand of bread he preferred to use. It was still an odd sandwich but the cinammon and the bread combined rather nicely over his taste buds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 [quote name='spathariossa' date='Jan 13 2005, 12:30 AM'] (I admit it, you're crazier than me) [/quote] LM[b]O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Lordee he thought, the thirst in me can only be quinched by one thing: apple juice. He poured a large glass of milk and went into the living room, where his mother was clipping his Aunt Terri's toe nails--a very necessary thing, indeed as Terri had lost her legs at Wal-Mart and was consequently quite depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spathariossa Posted January 13, 2005 Author Share Posted January 13, 2005 He poured the milk over the toenail clippings to sterilize them and then did a handstand on the floor. After the blood rushed properly to his head, he stood back up and walked back into the kitchen where he began to eat a dozen raw eggs and floss his teeth with the ligaments from leftover turkey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 As he looked at the turkey and egg shell covered floor of his kitchen, he had another moment of deep insight into the mysterious workings of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spathariossa Posted January 13, 2005 Author Share Posted January 13, 2005 He realized for the very first time that his family was so bizarrely dysfunctional that it bordered on the surreal. (Bordered...lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Then he had APPLE JUICE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now