immaculata Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 One of my friends used to jot down funny quotes that were said in class, then he posted a bunch on his website.. Thought you guys would get a kick out of some of these! *edit: Okay, obviously everyone except Phazzan.* :fluffy air extraction: Don't you love seeing the Freshman carrying all their books around, saying sorry to the Seniors when they get in their way, and carrying things like compasses around that they would only use to jab people with? - Mr. Menger One of my phrases is loot then burn. If you ever take over a country, don't burn the stuff first, cause then all you can take is ashes. See that’s a joke people. You're supposed to laugh - Mr. Cummings If you eat candy in my class, I will take it from you and give it to the poor. I'll drive down the street, and say hey kid you want some candy - Mr. Blackford The nation has gone downhill ever since women got the right to vote. As soon as they did, they elected a cute guy as president and the nation was in ruins - Mr. Cummings Any intentions today? - Mrs. Svobodawg That you will be lenient in grading our tests today - Stuart Schmadeke Never - Mrs. Svobodawg Mrs. Strauss, como estas - Alex Granda Angry is how I como estas - Mrs. Strauss Marc Strauss is hot - Alyssa Simmons Only in the summer - Mrs. Strauss I'm going to be frank with you guys about this problem, which is kindive hard because I'm Mr. H - Mr. Harris Who was Martin Luther? - Mr. Blackford He had a dream - Cia Fincham Back at Spalding, you had to walk on the sides of the hallways. The nuns and teachers got to walk down the middle. Today at Notre Dame, you're lucky if you don't get mugged walking out there - Mr. Harris, old-timer Anybody wearing a size four out there that should be wearing a size nine, please come up to the table for a detention - Mr. Rashid, at lunch Mr. Roy, how's it going? - Maria Couri Oh ya know, each day is better than the last. It's just one day closer to death - Mr. Roy Welcome to our class Dr. O ' Connell. Would you like a seat? I've got a table for one back here - Mr. Harris I chose which church to go to by who had the best softball team or the best uniforms - Mr. Laird Mr. Callow, you're defacing school property with a Cubs picture - Andrew Cunningham You're getting an F for the day - Mr. Callow In college, when I went out with a girl, we bought chips and a six pack. Five of the beers were for me and so were the chips - Mr. Laird If you know you're not going to marry them, then dump em. Send them to dumpsville, population you - Mr. Roy When you fall in love, do you feel it in your brain? Do you say, "O, I am in love." No, you feel it in your gut - Mr. Laird We got Columbus Day off, the man that brought syphillis and slavery to the new world. We don't get a day off for our veterans. - Mr. Laird You know you get bored in the morning. There's nothing to do so you read the Cheerios Box. Thiacin, Riacin, Neosporin - Mr. Laird Anybody back in England who has a hyphen in their last name usually comes from a family of royalty. You should all bow down to me - Jeremy Pitt-Payne The rarest people are left-handed and red-haired. People consider them odd because they are different. I don't understand that. My son is left handed and has red hair. Is he odd? (Pause) You're dang right he is - Mr. Laird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phazzan Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 Those are quite lame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 [quote name='immaculata' date='Jan 10 2005, 08:37 PM'] The nation has gone downhill ever since women got the right to vote. As soon as they did, they elected a cute guy as president and the nation was in ruins - Mr. Cummings [/quote] :rotfl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
immaculata Posted January 11, 2005 Author Share Posted January 11, 2005 [quote name='rachael' date='Jan 10 2005, 08:45 PM'] [quote name='immaculata' date='Jan 10 2005, 08:37 PM']The nation has gone downhill ever since women got the right to vote. As soon as they did, they elected a cute guy as president and the nation was in ruins - Mr. Cummings [/quote] :rotfl: [/quote] [img]http://us.history.wisc.edu/hist102/photos/assets/photos/1125.jpg[/img] Heck yes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea348 Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 [quote name='immaculata' date='Jan 10 2005, 08:37 PM'] If you eat candy in my class, I will take it from you and give it to the poor. I'll drive down the street, and say hey kid you want some candy - Mr. Blackford [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
immaculata Posted January 11, 2005 Author Share Posted January 11, 2005 [quote]Mr. Callow, you're defacing school property with a Cubs picture - Andrew Cunningham You're getting an F for the day - Mr. Callow[/quote] This is one of my favorites.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookwyrm Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 Allow me to add some of my personal favorites: Teacher: Why do you think we have a lock on the Tabernacle? First Grader: To keep Jesus from getting out! Jen (Protestant): Wait . . . If the pope's not supposed the have kids, then how can there be a John Paul the SECOND? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiL Kat Said Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 :haha: :roll: :roll: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phazzan Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 How about this one, Class member: "hello Mr Roy, how's it going?" Mr Roy: "[b]Roy[/b]t (i.e. right) as rain" Or how about this one, Q. What's the fastest way to get the heaven? A. Kne[b]e[/b] mail! Christians are so darn phunny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSoror Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 (edited) Those made [i]me[/i] smile. We have tons of those floating around our school, they should get written down Edited January 11, 2005 by FutureSoror Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1337 k4th0l1x0r Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 This reminds me of a fortune database we used to have where I went to high school. For those of you who aren't so nerdy, fortune is a command that would run whenever you logged into a unix machine and would give you a random quote, fortune, or story. Good times... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 [quote name='immaculata' date='Jan 10 2005, 06:37 PM'] The rarest people are left-handed and red-haired. People consider them odd because they are different. I don't understand that. My son is left handed and has red hair. Is he odd? (Pause) You're dang right he is - Mr. Laird [/quote] hey, :angry: i resemble that!!!! just kiddin, i'm just red-haired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest T-Bone Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 [quote name='1337 k4th0l1x0r' date='Jan 10 2005, 11:18 PM'] This reminds me of a fortune database we used to have where I went to high school. For those of you who aren't so nerdy, fortune is a command that would run whenever you logged into a unix machine and would give you a random quote, fortune, or story. Good times... [/quote] Unix rocks! Make Fire [color=blue]Dont know how to make fire[/color] Why not? [color=blue]No Match[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 maybe my school is just really bad but um.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JazzforJesus Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 something from my theatre teacher, and our class *proceeds after a fire drill gone wrong* Mr. Jackson: now class what did we learn today Everybody: Dont commit suicide, dont walk towards the burning building Jackson: There shall not be any horse playing in my theatre... unless i initiate it... but hey that was kinda funny Jason: you better not fall john, i dont want to carry you to the hospital john: call the ambulance Mr. Stanley: Kirby are you on a dangerous site? Kirby: ...No Mr. Stanley: Then why are you wearing a hard hat? Kirby: I heard that there have been cows falling Mr. Jackson: Where is the Highest lowest point in the US? Mr. Belew: Vermont Mr. Jackson: No! Vermont has mountains. Where is the highest lowest point in the US? Chris: Deleware! *Mr. Jackson wanders around Mr. Belew's Room* Mr. Belew: that would be my closet of disgrace Mr. Jackson: this appears to be a 2x4 *closes door* Belew: im locking the door now. There *Belew locks door and then we all leave classroom and go to Drama hall* Belew: hey Matt, can you go down to my room and let Mr. Jackson out of my closet Matt: your kidding, right? Belew: No, now can you go down and let him out. Matt: How long has he been in there? Belew: about 3 minutes now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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