cmotherofpirl Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 (edited) How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? > [u]Charismatic:[/u] Only one. Hands already in the air. > [u]Pentecostals[/u]: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. > [u]Baptists: [/u]At least 25. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad, and another group to break off and form another congregation because some of the men allowed a woman to twist the bulb. > [u]Roman Catholic:[/u] None. Candles only. > [u]Presbyterians[/u]: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times. > [u]Episcopalians:[/u] Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was. > [u]Mormons:[/u] Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. > [u]Unitarians:[/u] We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for next Sunday's service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, florescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence. > [u]Methodists:[/u] Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish. > [u]Nazarene:[/u] Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy. > [u]Lutherans[/u]: None. Lutherans don't believe in change. > [u]Quakers:[/u] None. The Inner Light is enough. > [u]Amish: [/u]What's a light bulb? Edited December 23, 2004 by cmotherofpirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krush2k2 Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Dec 22 2004, 10:27 PM'] Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeteenchick527 Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 :rofl: :rofl: lol thats hilarious! God Bless LTC :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosey Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 :crackup: :rotfl: good stuff... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea348 Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philippe Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 thats awesome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancesforLove Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 I grew up in 4 of those churches lol WOWWWW that is so funny and true!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*teen4Christ* Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 4 wow!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allis-challmers Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 [quote]Amish: What's a light bulb? [/quote] That is funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pio Nono Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 JMJ 12/23 - Fourth Thursday of Advent The Amish one wouldn't be so funny if I didn't know so many Amish. And the funny thing about the Amish is that you can tell jokes like that about them online and they'll never read it! :rotfl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crusader1234 Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Pentecostals can get pretty scary... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreamweaver Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Haha, those are great, especially the episcopalian one. The local episcopalian church is the only church I know that has a cash bar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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