How would you feel if one of your parents died?

[littleflower+JMJ]

(((HUgs to ash and cmom))))

[DancesforLove]

I know how you feel, my family has been kinda the black sheep for homeschooling and just lots of reasons.
I have a couple of relatives who might be there but thats it, I've thought about that before too. Especially last year, my mom had to go have a biopsy done for possible Uteran cancer, it was really scary since my grandmother died of three forms of cancer when I was younger and I've known so many with cancer

[Ash Wednesday]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='Nov 14 2004, 12:39 AM'] And it probably will not fully hit you until years later. [/quote]
Which is perhaps why I have been afraid of getting married and having kids.
Sooner or later I'm going to have to address it. I guess right now I'm still afraid. It signifies moving on and experiencing something that I will not experience with my mom there. I'm the first to admit that right now I'm bitter that my brothers had their weddings and children born with mom present. Not me...

Obviously it's not their fault that things turned out this way but it doesn't stop me from feeling inexplicably resentful.

While I've started the healing process, I'm still afraid of going through the next big things in life without her there.

[BLAZEr]

Sad.

[Andrea348]

Paladin,
It is so weird that you ask this question. At about the same time you posted, I was thinking about the very thing. I found out yesterday afternoon that one of the mother's of the girl's that I danced with in high school just passed away. She is a freshman in college and her younger brother is in high school. I can't even begin to imagine.

Everyone, please pray for her mother and their fam. Thanks!

[Phazzan]

Well I imagine I'd feel pretty bad Captain Obvious.

[traichuoi]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Nov 13 2004, 07:38 PM'] What do you do when a parent dies?

You deal with it.

That is the only way I can describe it. You just deal with it. You have no choice.

Of course when you first hear about it and are thrust into that situation, you're numb, and this is God and nature's mechanism to help deal with the immediate situation at hand.

I used to imagine with horror what it would be like if I lost my mom. I love my dad, but I was much closer to my mom than I am my dad. I worried that if mom died, my father would go off the deep end or something. I imagined this to be the worst possible thing one could ever have to endure. But then I would brush it off and say "God won't give me more than I can handle!"

Well, I guess I underestimated myself, because God said "I know you better" and took my mom a year ago.

Anyway cmom knows what's up...and she's wiser than I but I can relate to what she's saying. It isn't anything you "get over" -- for a while it takes a lot of wind out of your sails -- and you're completely altered forever. The miracle is, God gives you pockets of strength you never knew existed when you're lying at the bottom of the barrel.

I permanently became a completely different person than I was after November 9, 2003.

And as for my father, I realized first of all why my mom married him in the first place. I had completely underestimated his character beforehand. In the aftermath, I developed a whole new respect for his personal inner strength and resilience. We built a stronger father-daughter relationship in death's aftermath -- one that I had always wanted but never had. I guess we realized the importance of having each other.

So anyway, when you lose a parent, you deal with it. One way or another, you eventually have to deal with it and come to terms with it.

Life is never the same, for a while it sure as hell takes the wind out of your sails, but in the end you come out a wiser, more complex being with a greater grasp of how important and transient life is. [/quote]
Ash I remember when you lost your mom.

I lost my mom when I was 13. Feb. 17, 1992. Nov. 18 is her birthday.

Just like Ash and Cmom say, you never "get over it," you just learn to deal with the pain as you go on. You become wiser and you become more attached to Christ's cross, always hoping and looking forward to resurrection.

Honestly, I have learned to love the cross and embrace my burdens. It still hurts and smells of elderberries and you have your moments when you just want to crawl in a corner and cry the rest of the day. But, there are times when because of your suffering, you are able to see and understand God differently...that's what makes it so worth it.

just like Ash said, you become more complex, wise, compassionate, empathetic, aware of others' feelings, mad when people don't appreciate their parents, and you attach to Mother Mary or God the Father/Joseph even more.

one last thing...perseverance is attained only by turning to God...otherwise you never keep living.

[azaelia]

I don't know what I would do, because I never think about it. I always cry when I do. I know my family would support us, because we're really close, but it would be devastating.

[Lil Red]

Ash, that's how I feel about my grandma dying. she's 86, and still going strong, God bless her, but i know that she's not going to be around forever...which is one reason i really want to have kids. plus the fact that my dad is diabetic and while his health and diet are good, diabetics don't live as long.

[daugher-of-Mary]

One of my friend's dad died today I can't imagine...please keep her and her family in your prayers

[toledo_jesus]

not sure how I would react. It would be horrible of course. I think if it happened right now I would be very sad because of the fact that my dad is just starting out in Catholicism and my mom...well let's not go there. I would feel bad that they didn't get to experience what I have in my faith.

[Janana8706]

I don't know what I would do, but my friends dad died a few days ago. I don't know how he's handling it tho.

[stargirl3:16]

My dad died 15 years ago. I don't remember how I reacted...