How would you feel if one of your parents died?

[Paladin D]

Sometimes, this thought comes to mind. It's a very sad one and I try to ignore it. Unlike some families, we don't have the best relations with our relatives nor do we keep much in contact with them. While if let's say one of my parents died soon, it would be even more devistating (other than the actual death), considering there is barely anyone there (family wise) that we can cling to. While if you are close to your relatives, there is a lot of support. We're pretty much a reject family.

I love both my parents a lot, and if either one of them died... I'm not sure what I would do.

It smells of elderberries.

Edited November 13, 2004 by Paladin D

[Paladin D]

I hate this type of stuff, not knowing how to solve the problem.

Edited November 13, 2004 by Paladin D

[picchick]

I don't know what I would do. I would probably never get over it. I can't even imagine it.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

I would cry, but we must trust in God. I was there when my grandfather died...you'd be surprised how calming that was...

[Rebirth flame]

i've thought alot about it too...

It's a hard thing to think about. So many things just run through my head, but what ultimately comes to my mind is that God has called His servant home. I think that undoubtedly i would be torn up inside, but (this is where i'm a dork, i think) my mom or dad would be a saint in heaven that i can pray to for intercession! how cool is that? They can pray for me here on earth, but man! up in heaven, and still prayin for me?!? it's awesome, to me.

It shows to me that love never fails, that ultimately God's Will is where we should place our burdens, and that as hard as it is to think about, it really will bring us closer to Christ.

Peace!
~nate

[Lil Red]

my main concern would be the other parent...how they would handle it, how they would hold up, etc.

[Paladin D]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='Nov 13 2004, 07:10 PM'] my main concern would be the other parent...how they would handle it, how they would hold up, etc. [/quote]
Especially that too.

[Paladin D]

[quote name='Raphael' date='Nov 13 2004, 06:51 PM'] I would cry, but we must trust in God.  I was there when my grandfather died...you'd be surprised how calming that was... [/quote]
Yeah, same when my grandfather died. However it was different. He was a nice man, and we did keep in contact, but it wasn't as strong of a bond as with my parents.

[cmotherofpirl]

My mom died 21 years ago January, and my dad about 15.
You never get over it, you are never prepared.
You then realize your generation and you are next in line.
Mortality seems a lot closer at that point.

[littleflower+JMJ]

I have never gotten over my grandpa dying. its still hard. he was the only grandparent i known and i was little when he died. i can't even begin to imagine my parents

[Ash Wednesday]

What do you do when a parent dies?

You deal with it.

That is the only way I can describe it. You just deal with it. You have no choice.

Of course when you first hear about it and are thrust into that situation, you're numb, and this is God and nature's mechanism to help deal with the immediate situation at hand.

I used to imagine with horror what it would be like if I lost my mom. I love my dad, but I was much closer to my mom than I am my dad. I worried that if mom died, my father would go off the deep end or something. I imagined this to be the worst possible thing one could ever have to endure. But then I would brush it off and say "God won't give me more than I can handle!"

Well, I guess I underestimated myself, because God said "I know you better" and took my mom a year ago.

Anyway cmom knows what's up...and she's wiser than I but I can relate to what she's saying. It isn't anything you "get over" -- for a while it takes a lot of wind out of your sails -- and you're completely altered forever. The miracle is, God gives you pockets of strength you never knew existed when you're lying at the bottom of the barrel.

I permanently became a completely different person than I was after November 9, 2003.

And as for my father, I realized first of all why my mom married him in the first place. I had completely underestimated his character beforehand. In the aftermath, I developed a whole new respect for his personal inner strength and resilience. We built a stronger father-daughter relationship in death's aftermath -- one that I had always wanted but never had. I guess we realized the importance of having each other.

So anyway, when you lose a parent, you deal with it. One way or another, you eventually have to deal with it and come to terms with it.

Life is never the same, for a while it sure as hell takes the wind out of your sails, but in the end you come out a wiser, more complex being with a greater grasp of how important and transient life is.

[Lil Red]

:group: ((((cmom)))) :group:

:group: ((((ash)))) :group:

[homeschoolmom]

My family is not close either... we like each other, but that's about it. My parents are divorced and my dad and brother live far away. They are both agnostic at best... My mom is very liberal in her theology and won't talk about it. I'm not close to my cousins or aunts and uncles either... we are just practically strangers. So, I understand what you mean, Paladin, when you say, who will you get support from. I've wondered this myself. However, I know that I have my husband, children and in-laws (who aren't very close either....*stupid American individualist culture!!!!*)

However, I think it's going to be weird. As cmom said, I'll be next in line. I just hate the idea of being the older generation.... And I know that even though I am not especially close to my parents or brother, I will miss them terribly. I will regret that we weren't a nice, loving "normal" family... One that gathers together at holidays, etc.

[Paladin D]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Nov 13 2004, 11:47 PM'] My family is not close either... we like each other, but that's about it. My parents are divorced and my dad and brother live far away. They are both agnostic at best... My mom is very liberal in her theology and won't talk about it. I'm not close to my cousins or aunts and uncles either... we are just practically strangers. So, I understand what you mean, Paladin, when you say, who will you get support from. I've wondered this myself. However, I know that I have my husband, children and in-laws (who aren't very close either....*stupid American individualist culture!!!!*)

However, I think it's going to be weird. As cmom said, I'll be next in line. I just hate the idea of being the older generation.... And I know that even though I am not especially close to my parents or brother, I will miss them terribly. I will regret that we weren't a nice, loving "normal" family... One that gathers together at holidays, etc. [/quote]
Fortunately my parents and brothers are close.

[Norseman82]

It all depends on how you lose them.

If you are particularly young and didn't have a chance to bond closely, you may not understand it.

If it happens quickly because the parent was a victim of an accident or crime, or a sudden heart attack (like what happened to a close uncle) you'll probably be in a state of shock.

If it is a result of a long illness, you might be prepared to let go. That is what happened when my mother died of cancer; it was a constant cycle of getting better, then worse, then better, then worse, and on and on... after a while I finally accepted that she wasn't going to get better and was prepared to accept it when she finally passed.

And it probably will not fully hit you until years later.