MORight2Life Posted July 11, 2003 Share Posted July 11, 2003 *GASP!* It's the Pink Lady! Be God's! -Michelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HiddenVoice Posted July 11, 2003 Share Posted July 11, 2003 Here we go......a religously connotated joke (no offense to any lawyers or aspiring lawyers out there) A doctor, a mechanic, and a lawyer are sitting around and talking when one of them asked which profession had been around the longest. The doctor smiled, "No contest. God had to be a surgeon, seeing as how he took a rib from Adam and then cultured that rib into his wife Eve. Therefore He was the first surgeon, and a good one at that." The mechanic nodded, "true, but before that God had to have been a mechanic seeing as how created the universe from chaos and fury. And that was BEFORE the whole Adam and Eve thing." Just as the mechanic looked victorious the lawyer started laughing. "I hate to say it but even I got that beat." Confused the mechanic and doctor looked at him and asked why. The lawyer replied with a smile:"Who do you think caused all the chaos and fury???" ha ha Voice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HiddenVoice Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 So who won??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Just Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 (edited) There were 3 Nuns at a Baseball game and behind them were two guys talking about moving somewhere where there arent any Catholics, one of the Nuns heard what the guys were saying, turned around and said "why dont you go to Hell there arent any Catholics there"! Edited July 12, 2003 by Mc-Just†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cantstopdancin9 Posted July 13, 2003 Author Share Posted July 13, 2003 I WON! I WON! thank you, thank you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cantstopdancin9 Posted July 13, 2003 Author Share Posted July 13, 2003 Ok, I got another one... There was a man who's truck broke down in front of a blue house. The house had a blue fence, blue sidewalk, blue porch, blue everything.... Just Kidding! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TempleofVesarius Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 Ok, there is a priest, a rabi and a protestant minister all having lunch. Somehow the topic of how bats infest all of their places of worship came up. The Rabi said, "I dont know what to do...Ive tried hiring exterminates, putting out poison, but nothing works." The Minister said, " I know Rabi, I have tried everything also, I even tried praying then out...the bats just wont leave." The Priest then replied, " I got rid of them...it was easy." The other two exlaimed, "BUT HOW????" The Priest replie calmly, " Well, I baptized them, gave them first comunnion, confirmed them and I havent seen them since." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodsThespianChic Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 ToV, that joke was SOOOO derived from the Catholic Squirrels joke!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TempleofVesarius Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 I've never heard that one. Here is one tho... Little Tommy's parents had tried everything to help his math grade: tutors, flash cards, "Hooked on Math," special learning centers, everything. Finally, they enrolled him in the local Catholic school. The very first day, he came home with a very serious look on his face, went straight to his room, and started studying. His mother was amazed. Books and paper were spread out everywhere and Little Tommy was hard at work. As soon as dinner was through, he marched right back up to his room without a word and studied some more. This went on for weeks until Little Tommy proudly brought home his report card and showed it to his parents: An A in Math! "Tommy! This is great! I'm so proud of you! Son, what was it? What helped motivate you? Was it the nuns?" Little Tommy shook his head. "Well, then, was it the books? The discipline? The structure? The uniforms? What?" Little Tommy looked at her and said, "Well, Mom, it's like this. When I saw that guy out in the lobby nailed to a plus sign, I knew they weren't screwing around!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodsThespianChic Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 That's great!!! I love that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TempleofVesarius Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 this is a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad one...lol Fallen An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!" Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen." >From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen." This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93. Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!" The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest. But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know why you're laughing; your wife fell three times last week!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodsThespianChic Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 Oh my goodness, that is bad.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TempleofVesarius Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 i know...but it IS funny :ph34r: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TempleofVesarius Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 man i keep finding these A burglar was cruising through a posh suburb looking for an opportunity. At one house he saw a truck unloading a big screen television, stereo, and video outfit. That night, without a moon in the sky and a heavy fog, he drove up to the house. He rang the doorbell and when no one answered, broke the lock on the kitchen door and went in. It was pitch black inside as he made his way through the kitchen, then the dining room and into the den where he expected to find the things he wanted to steal. "I see you and Jesus sees you," a voice said. The burglar froze in his tracks. "I see you and Jesus sees you," the voice said again. When nothing more happened, the burglar took out his flashlight and shined it in the direction of the voice. All he saw was a parrot on its perch. "I see you and Jesus sees you." The burglar laughed. "Just a dumb bird," he said. The burglar closed the drapes before turning on a lamp and that's when he saw a big and mean looking Doberman Pincher sitting beneath the parrot's perch. "Sic him, Jesus!" the parrot said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodsGrace Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 lol that's all wrong....the bird said...Jesus is watching you, and the burgalar asked him what his name was, & he said moses....so the guy got freaked out & looked down & the parrot said, that's Jesus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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