What I Saw At Mass This Evening

[yiannii]

Hey the Mother was probably really embarrised. Although it really shouldn't stop one from attending Mass.

[CatholicAndFanatical]

I doubt that the woman left that Mass because of the usher, I think it was out of embarrasement..I have two kids, 3 and 5 and they keep me on my toes when at mass, i HAVE to set in the cry room with them or I will need confession after Mass. They will either want a drink, want to fight, want to talk, fluffy air extraction, have to go to the bathroom, or just want to get up and walk..my 5 year old already knows the consciquences to messing up as Mass, my 3 year old is learning, its a rough road..

However, when my kids do act up at Mass, my face is red. I feel bad for making everyone else miss what Father is saying all because my kid wants to sing the Bob the builder song..And during my embarrasement, had an usher came up to me and said "You should go into the cryroom" while others were around, I would be devistated. Not only would I be embarrased but I would be awefully angry at my kids for putting me through this.

CatholicAndFanatical

[Jake Huether]

I often sat in the back with my family, as well...but there are lots of misbehaving peeps in the back for that same reason, and not all of them are children!

I had sat up front on that occasion, to say my Penance, as is just my custom, I guess!  In the meanwhile, folks began entering to prepare for Anticipated Mass.

So many people rushing back and forth, and talking out loud...My little guys at least were very quiet, but active.

Can you believe that I later learned she has been stirring things up regarding me and my children with whoever would listen for months before she ever approached me!!!  She said she had seen one get out of his pew once during a First Friday Adoration, and that he had toddled up to the St. Joseph altar.  When he looked back at me, I gave him a look of disapproval, and he "ran" all the way back to the pew (where I sat or knelt with his twin and other little ones).  She said that was most disrespectful.

Ever since that, she went about complaining about me, until there was a posse of disgruntled old folks, waiting for my kids to make a wrong move in church! 

She pointed out my twins figitting up front to the priest, who was in the back, greeting parishoners with her.  He told me later that he thought she was going to offer me some help with the little guys!  So he gave her permission to come speak with me. 

To make matters worse, she phoned me the following Monday to tell me that she was sorry if she had offended me, but I had it coming, cuz I don't control my kids, and in her day, children were seen and not heard...etc.  She told me that Father had sent her up there to speak with me.  And, that's when she detailed the Adoration story. 

I later was told from another source that my friend had been present during a conversation where the Greeter was complaining about my kids, and my friend had responded, "Isn't life beautiful?  Aren't those children just wonnnnnnderful gifts from God?  How she and your parish have been blessed!" 

But I can tell you that this Greeter sewed a lot of discord between people who I've never meant to harm in any way, and my children.  I don't even really know this Greeter very personally...we've just attended a couple of the same parish workshops and such.  She was very outspoken and opinionated at them, but being single, healthy, and well-to-do, she is involved in everything in our parish.  She has the freedom and wherewithall to do so.

I was able to tell her, however, that the job of a Greeter should be to make people feel welcome.  Instead, she presents herself as the Pew Police.

I've since learned that she's done same to other large families, (and they sit in the back!)

Maybe y'all could pray for her, cuz...   I don't ...can't. ............won't?     

Have you ever heard of "the Spirit of Jesabell". I'm not saying she has it, but there have been such women at my parish. Pray for her. God LOVES Children, and he will hear your prayers.

[Lil Red]

Wow, Anna. That is horrible. And what you all have said, especially those parents, will make me think next time I go to Mass. I've been trying to think of babies crying as just thinking that they're recognizing that Jesus is present.

Cry rooms? Well, I think my church has a wonderful one. But I'm not a parent, so I don't really know. But I know that it is not really a "room" but just right outside of where the doors are to go into the regular space. It has a big picture window so you can see the priest and the Mass is piped in through good speakers. Good chairs, plenty of room.

I do know that my parents didn't use the cry room in the old church when my siblings and I grew up. And this was before the time of Children's Catechesis during Mass. We grew up in a time that you had to behave in church because there was no where for you to go and act up.

Plus, my dad would have given big spankings to anyone acting up in church.

About the original question. I think that everyone (especially those with a ministry in the church) need to remember to be inclusive to everyone. Parents with young children too often leave churches and don't come back because they feel their family is not wanted.

[marielapin]

At our very large parish, the noisiest people are the grownups. We will be praying before Mass when a family (all above age 16) sits down behind us, and starts discussing chocolate cake in a normal voice. Other times they discuss the mall. They sit behind us often. They drive Jared crazy.

We also have older Spanish ladies who talk OVER pews in Spanish, in a loud voice.

There are also some extremely loud greeters which one can hear when one is in the front of the Church and they are in the back.

Then you have the poor old ladies that are half deaf that practically scream to their friends, so that everyone in the huge church can hear them. They are at least amusing.

Sometimes I wish for more unruly babies, you can at least comment on how cute they are. The unruly adults are the ones that rile me up.

[Anna]

I was once standing in a cry room holding Ice Princess in my arms, in front of one of those huge glass windows.

She suddenly puked all over it!!!

How embarassing.

Do you just let it run down the glass, or begin wiping a pamper out of your diaper bag all over the window in big circular motions?!

This cry room was off to the side, directly facing the altar.

The Church was in the shape of a cross, so the peeps in first few pews could see, as well as the entire other side of seated parishioners.......

Ohhhhhhhhh

how embarassing....

The Greeter who rebuked my twins is, as marielapin pointed out, one of the noisest peeps in the Church. She is one who, once when I was examining my conscience before Reconciliation, began talking loudly with a male greeter. He was greeting that evening, and she was acting as Eucharistic Minister. In a loud voice, she joked, "So, you're the priest tonight, ay? Well, I'm the bishop!" She affectionately refers to herself as "Bishop (her last name)".

Yeah, I think the devil likes to use her to make me feel antsy...and perhaps vice versa.

She's also ultra-liberal, and of course, you all know that I'm a die-hard conservative.

Pax Christi. <><

[IcePrincessKRS]

I was once standing in a cry room holding Ice Princess in my arms, in front of one of those huge glass windows.

She suddenly puked all over it!!!

Hmm.... did not know that.... a new one to add to my list of childhood stories...

[cmotherofpirl]

Greeters who hate children probably never had any.

Pray for them.

THey have lost the best opportunity God gives you to grow as a human being.

[cappie]

As a priest I sympathise with all the parents who struggle to get to church with the kids in toe!!

Bishop Fulton Sheen tells the story: during one of his sermons a child was crying, the mother went to take the child out, Bishop Sheen says "Don't take the child out, he is not bothering me." the woman replies: "No, but you're bothering the child."

I think of that when a baby cries or a child is restless, it may be my fault!!!

[Anna]

No, Father, never let yourself think that.

Little children just sometimes become restless, for any number of reasons.

They may need to use the bathroom, or need a diaper change.

They may be thirsty, or tired, and be getting picked on by another sibling!

Maybe they just have ants in their pantaloons!

But in my vast years of mothering experience, I've never had a child act up at Mass and say, "That priest was bothering me!"

Here's a funny little story about Temple of Vesarius:

Once, when he was a little boy, we were in church praying (before or after Mass, I really don't remember).

Our pastor walked into the Church, and Temple called out happily, "Hi, God!"

The pastor just grinned, and said, "Wow. What a promotion!"

What goes through these little minds and hearts in Church...! :)

[ironmonk]

And IronMonk - I challenge you to sit in that environment and have a meaningful celebration of the mass without once growing angry at indifferent parents or being distracted by six year olds chasing their three year old siblings.

I have been in that environment... I know it very well... I am Catholic ya know It has happened at every Church I've ever been to. I don't grow angry over it, I know how kids are, and they get restless sometimes. I get made at people who get mad at the parents and the kids. I have a lot of respect for people who come to Mass as a family, and especially if they have a hard time with their kids. Now if the parents do not do anything to calm the kids then the parents bother me, but if a parent tries, then they are doing what they can....

Sometimes, kids needs a spanking... if I would have acted out in Church, I would have had my butt worn out as soon as we left Mass... When I was 6 and 7 in Catholic school, at Mass with the teachers, I knew I could get away with more.... so I did.... I talked, I played with toys... I played under the pews... If my dad was there and saw that, I would have gotten the belt if I did any of that.

Granted.. this will not work in many cases and I think that each situation calls for different solutions... spanking babies is wrong... but 3-7 years olds can get a spanking and understand why.

Thing is, I see many parents messing up by saying that they will spank a kid, then not spank the kid... the kid learns that a warning of a spanking means nothing... so the kid continues to do whatever...

The worst thing a parent can do in regards to discipline is not follow through with what they said. Kids learn to work their parents quickly. They might not know how to articulate it, but they can.

Think back when you were a child... where there things that you could get away with when you where with your mother, but not your father.

Most mothers are very loving and try hard, but if a kid knows that they can get away with something, they will (in many cases).

Also, remember, all rules of thumb have exceptions.

Your Servant in Christ,

ironmonk

[cappie]

Just a p.s on my note above, I just finished Mass a mobile phone( I think you call them cellphones in US) went off just as communion finished, the same phone durnin the silence after communion, the same phone during the final prayer!! I asked if they knew where the off button was, but they were not finished, just as I said go in peace, the phone went off again!! They thought it was highly funny!!

[cmotherofpirl]

I read some Churches jam cell phone signals to avoid interruptions during services.

Maybe you should look into it :)

[Anna]

At least when children act up, it's because they've not yet reached the age of reason...

But if they're old enough to have a cell phone....! :angry:

[Dave]

Let me tell y'all about something that happened in a former parish of mine. Someone's cell phone rang during the homily and kept on ringing. The priest started to get visibly irritated, and finally he stopped and said, "If whoever has that doesn't turn it off right now, I will come over there, take it, and smash it!"