azaelia Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 Warning: the below was written in a state of emotional panic. I'm not really insane. Carry on I am going crazy. I feel like the world is crashing in on me, and I can't stop it. I have no control over the state of the world. I can't keep my mind off it, I can't do anything about it. I can't love them. I'm not a loving person...I wish I was, but I'm not. I get so angry, because I believe so strongly, and it leaves no room for love. I can't not believe strongly in things. I wish I wasn't so passionate about things, I want to be passive. I want to be semi-normal. I don't want to be the "moral one" I want to be the "fun one" or the "smart one". But I'm always the one speaking against the prevailing wind, and I just want to be able to sleep at night without worrying, without feeling that nauseating turn in my stomache like my intestines are folding themselves into origami cranes. I want to turn to God, but I can't. Something is holding me back. I'm behind a wall, and I can't get around it, or over it. He's there, but I can't see Him, or hear Him. I can't love them...I can't believe they are simply misguided... Why do people have closed minds and open mouths? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piccoli Fiori JMJ Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 excellent question... I've felt like the silent stone wanting to scream out, but I can't -_- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 awwwwwwwwww Amy :group: I'm praying for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 :group: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 [quote name='FutureNunJMJ' date='Oct 19 2004, 10:15 PM'] I've felt like the silent stone wanting to scream out, but I can't -_- [/quote] Angela what you just said made me think of something I said to the Holy Father in my letter to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 prayers! :group: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azaelia Posted October 20, 2004 Author Share Posted October 20, 2004 Thanks...I need them. Sometimes I want to scream...but the world won't let me I :wub: you guys :group: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piccoli Fiori JMJ Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 [quote name='StColette' date='Oct 19 2004, 10:19 PM'] Angela what you just said made me think of something I said to the Holy Father in my letter to him. [/quote] Really? That is interesting... What part of the letter was it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theoketos Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 Well I scream and the world mocks me... Az I feel the same way alot of the time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piccoli Fiori JMJ Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 I will pray for you! I feel like I'm in the same boat sometimes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosey Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 *slams face on keyboard* lsa dlfjlxjcvjxzjvl;jxzlcm vklxjcv Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyyoimjohnny Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 As always, you guys have my prayers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theculturewarrior Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 Love has more to do with how you sacrifice than what you feel. I think perhaps you are angry [i]because[/i] you love "them." I get angry with my niece/sister when she doesn't do my laundry on time because she's "busy" practicing her flute or doing her "schoolwork." :angry: But I still love her. It's a decision that I have made. I love someone who had an abortion. I don't love abortion. It certainly makes things more complicated. Not only is abortion murder, it is also a lie. The devil is a liar and a murderer from the beginning. I don't mean to deny the culpability aspect, but there's just a lot of naive people in the world. I was one. I can forgive people for being naive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theculturewarrior Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 PS: Perhaps I should explain what I mean by naive. When someone believes that being human is a stage of development, that is naive. When someone believes that sex or drugs will give their lives meaning, that is naive. When someone thinks that having a child takes meaning away from their lives, that is also naive. And when someone believes that they have a right to decide whether or not the child would be better off dead...yes, it is willfull, and culpable, but it is also in the end naive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsFrozen Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 I know how you feel, Azriel. I am definitely praying for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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