StColette Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Oct 14 2004, 08:50 PM'] If someone gets pregnant you scream rant and rave for several hours, then start buying baby clothes. [/quote] hehehe sorry Cmom had to giggle at this one, though it's a serious matter, it's so true how that problem should be handle. Parents may be a little angry and disappointed at first and rant and rave for a little while, but they should remember to be compassionate toward their children, who are probably scared to death at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 Might want to at least get married before you get all worried about this one! Anyway, contraception is not the answer. Two wrongs don't make a right. (ANd this would undermine your instistance on following Catholic morality if you yourself make exceptions to it.) A parent just has to do the best he or she can do and leave the rest to God. Despite what some peddlers of Catholic/conservative childraising books would have you beleive, there's no foolproof way of insuring that one's kids will never go wrong. There's the factor of free will (which some conservatives are unconfortable admitting) Kids can rebel. I've known some kids from extremely good Catholics, conservative families who have gone astray, through no fault of the parents. But hey, don't worry so much about years in the future! It's not healthy. Trust in God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicforChrist Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 I agree with what popesaintpiusx said, at least with his meaning. If you know your child is sexually active, don't allow him to leave the house except for school, period. Or homeschool and don't let him leave, ever. There is a sure way to stop it and teach him a lesson. Also, if you bring your children up at a TLM parish, you will have everyone around you practicing the same traditional, orthodox ideals, etc, and it will be something that is not even an issue. This is the way it is with my parish, certainly. Also, whatever happened to disowning children who have sex out of wedlock, especially pregnancies out of wedlock? This was the Catholic practice until probably the Sexual Revolution. Why would that not apply anymore? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 [quote name='CatholicforChrist' date='Oct 15 2004, 06:11 PM'] I agree with what popesaintpiusx said, at least with his meaning. If you know your child is sexually active, don't allow him to leave the house except for school, period. Or homeschool and don't let him leave, ever. There is a sure way to stop it and teach him a lesson. Also, if you bring your children up at a TLM parish, you will have everyone around you practicing the same traditional, orthodox ideals, etc, and it will be something that is not even an issue. This is the way it is with my parish, certainly. Also, whatever happened to disowning children who have sex out of wedlock, especially pregnancies out of wedlock? This was the Catholic practice until probably the Sexual Revolution. Why would that not apply anymore? [/quote] Sigh. Its obvious you do not yet have children. The idea that going to a Trad parish will protect your children from sin and sex is a bit ridiculous. Disowning a child who has a child out of wedlock is a grevious sin. This is NOT Catholic practice. Anyone who throws away a child who had made a mistake NEVER deserved to have a child in the first place. Chilren are NOT disposable!!!!~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 [quote name='CatholicforChrist' date='Oct 15 2004, 04:11 PM'] I agree with what popesaintpiusx said, at least with his meaning. If you know your child is sexually active, don't allow him to leave the house except for school, period. Or homeschool and don't let him leave, ever. There is a sure way to stop it and teach him a lesson. [/quote] I hate to tell you that this type of way of handling it will certainly not fix the problem. It may seem like a remedy to the problem at the moment but what's going to happen when they go out into the world on their own as adults. Are you going to ground them ? Good luck grounding a 18, 19, 20, etc year old, because it won't happen. The best way to handle the situation is to speak with them, not lock them up, what are they learning from that ? One thing that will happen is that they'll resent you, and that's definitely not something that you would want. [quote]Also, whatever happened to disowning children who have sex out of wedlock, especially pregnancies out of wedlock? This was the Catholic practice until probably the Sexual Revolution. Why would that not apply anymore?[/quote] Let's give an example shall we, when Our Lady conceived Christ in her womb with the Holy Spirit many did not believe her; her family believed her, but if they hadn't would you have wanted them to disown her ? Can you honestly say that if your daughter came to you, and told you that she was pregnant and was in need of your help that you would turn her away ? Would Christ have turned her away ? I think not, He would have comforted her and forgiven her because she realized what she did was wrong. He would not have cast her out into the cold and disowned her. We are to be merciful just as God is merciful to us. Eph:4:32: And be ye kind one to another: merciful, forgiving one another, even as God hath forgiven you in Christ. (DRV) Mt:5:7: Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. (DRV) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PedroX Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 hopeful1, Prayer know can store up grace for later. Start praying now both for your future spouse, and your future children. leave it in God's hands. Contraception will only make matters worse. I heard the founder of Project Rachael, Vicki Thorn, talk this week, and she reminded me of just how bad the Pill is on a purely physical level. The hormonal changes it forces on a woman are terrible, and were never meant to be. Please, whatever you do, do not offer your child contraception. peace... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dairygirl4u2c Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 (edited) [color=red]THat was rude, and you would be highly annoyed if we said it about you[/color] Edited October 16, 2004 by cmotherofpirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 (edited) [quote name='dairygirl4u2c' date='Oct 15 2004, 11:42 PM'] So very, very rude. That was a personal attack Dairy Girl. [/quote] (quote edited by Ice Princess because Cmom edited the initial post.) Edited October 16, 2004 by IcePrincessKRS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 [quote name='CatholicforChrist' date='Oct 15 2004, 04:11 PM'] I agree with what popesaintpiusx said, at least with his meaning. If you know your child is sexually active, don't allow him to leave the house except for school, period. Or homeschool and don't let him leave, ever. There is a sure way to stop it and teach him a lesson. Also, if you bring your children up at a TLM parish, you will have everyone around you practicing the same traditional, orthodox ideals, etc, and it will be something that is not even an issue. This is the way it is with my parish, certainly. Also, whatever happened to disowning children who have sex out of wedlock, especially pregnancies out of wedlock? This was the Catholic practice until probably the Sexual Revolution. Why would that not apply anymore? [/quote] Such methods are an almost certain recipe for ensuring that that child will end up rejecting his parents, the Church, and everyhting they stand for. The resentment that would be caused by a person never allowed to leave his home as a punishment for sex will only lead that person to incredible resentment. He will likely, as soon as he is able to be on his own, completely rebel against the Church, his family, morality, and perhaps legitimate authority in general, seeing them as oppressive forces. I'm not saying that parents should be permissive, and not punish their children's behavior (especially if the child is under 18), but this never allowing the kid to leave the house stuff is ridiculous. Love must be balanced with discipline. If the parent tries to totally control a young adult, this will not work. Morality can not be forced on a person. Many kids from excessively strict family situations rebel, and turn 180 degrees against the values they were raised with. Again, I'm not calling for liberal permissiveness here, I'm just saying that trying to completely control a teenager will not work. And raising a kid in a sheltered, religious environment, is never a complete guarantee against rebellion or bad behavior (though, of course, parents should strive to bring their children up in a good moral environment). But if parents attempt to completely shelter the kid against any danger or temptation, they are sometimes unable to handle the trials and temptations of the real world. And disowning a girl, or other extreme measures, for out-of-wedlock pregnancy could lead her to secretly seek an abortion to avoid the consequences. This is a complex issue, and there are no easy answers, but that's my 10 cents worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeful1 Posted October 16, 2004 Author Share Posted October 16, 2004 well, Catholic For Christ, I don't think disowning them would be the answer, and that would only cause more problems in the long run, especially if she is pregnant. She'll either feel like she has no choice but to find someway to get an abortion, or she and her child may end up homeless or struggling to survive. Not to mention the amount of emotional or mental damage it might have on her, or even spiritual damage. Do you really think this is the MOST LOVING THING TO DO IN THIS SITUATION!? As far as grounding them for life... parents only have so much control over their children's actions and can't be there to supervize them every single second. depending on how rebellious the kid is, they could always find someway to escape. I also don't know if homeschooling would be an option for me (as ideal as it would be) because i'm considering becoming a teacher myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeful1 Posted October 16, 2004 Author Share Posted October 16, 2004 oops, just realize socrates said everything i just posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeful1 Posted October 16, 2004 Author Share Posted October 16, 2004 well, this was my thoughts about this before i started the topic. I know i definately want to keep the lines of communication open with my kids about sex, dating. relationships, ect with both my sons (hey guys are affected too) and daughters, talk to them about what the church teaches about chastity, contraception and describe what it is (not to promote it, but to have an understanding of it in regards to prolife issues), and all that good stuff. but if i ever found out and talk to them about it, and if they show that they have absolutely no desire to change, i would pray for them, but be like "this is your sin, this is your responsibility... if you want bc, you are going to be the one to pay for it, you going to be the one who's going to travel to the doctor to get there. I refuse to help you in sinning and you are the one who is going to live with the consequences of your actions". In theory, let them see the reality of their choices. but then again, i'm afraid if i did do that i would indirectly still be promoting bc and their actions, and not to mention if she did get pregnant (or if my son got a girl pregnant) they'd feel like "well mom's not going to help me, our only chioce is to abort" or something along those lines. After all i DO want them to come to me if that situation ever happened, and i don't want them to feel like they can't come to me for help for anything else. I don't even know if this is the right answer either... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 The right answer is just to keep them honestly talking to you. You don't have to know everything, but you better know the important things. I find brothers and sisters a great souirce of info.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeful1 Posted October 17, 2004 Author Share Posted October 17, 2004 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Oct 16 2004, 07:28 PM'] The right answer is just to keep them honestly talking to you. You don't have to know everything, but you better know the important things. I find brothers and sisters a great souirce of info.... [/quote] I wholeheartedly agree. except i'm an only child, so i don't have any married siblings to talk to about that kind of stuff or did you mean [i]my kids [/i] brothers and sisters? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 [quote name='hopeful1' date='Oct 16 2004, 10:55 PM'] I wholeheartedly agree. except i'm an only child, so i don't have any married siblings to talk to about that kind of stuff or did you mean [i]my kids [/i] brothers and sisters? [/quote] your[i] kids [/i]brothers and sisters thats why you have lots of kids -they are your best source of info! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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