curtins Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 ok i have this freind- that ive known since 2nd grade- lets call her jane well jane is in high school( a freshmen) she went to my Catholic grade school and graduatied last year- im actually older then her by 12 hours but in a grade lower then her but thats besides the point- ok shes now in a Catholic high school and has been talking about this guy that is a sophomore- that she likes and that he likes her. ok now they are dating and goin to the homecoming and such. she told me just now that he has been putting his hands all over her and touching her butt and stuff and its making her uncomfortable- i told her to tell him to stop it- she sed she cant- it would be too hard- i told her that if Jesus had the courage to suffer and die for us she has the courage to stand up for her own body- I told her to pray for herself and for him. then she told me that she was warned by one of her friends to watch out for herself goin out with this dude. and that he will ask her to have sex with him should i tell her to dump him or what??? im deff gonna pray for her and him- i ask that you do the same- but what else can i say to her????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin D Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Wow, what a pervert. Tell her to dump the guy, a [b]true man[/b] would not treat a woman in such a way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeteenchick527 Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 oo thats really hard to do....seeing a friend in a relationship that is not the best thing for her.... FIRST AND FOREMOST...BECAREFUL ON HOW YOU WORD EVERYTHING!!! girls can often get protective of the guy that she likes and such...it sounds like she just needs a friend to ADVISE HER...dont push ur advise on her tho...girls can often push the advise away thinking that they just dont like the guy or something to that affect...i think that maybe...u might want to tell her that u will always be there for her...that can help to bc it will build her trust so that if something more comes up, she knows she can talk to you. AND OF COURSE PRAY PRAY PRAY!! i will be praying too!! ~GOD BLESS~ ~LTC~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Yeah, you don't want to word things in such a way that would drive her away, but I think its very important that you tell her than no guy who has any ammount of respect for her would treat her that way. Let her know that you know its not your place to tell her what to do but you are sincerely concerned for her because of the things you've heard about this guy and that you feel it may be in her best interest to break up with him as soon as possible. If she is uncomfortable being with him NOW it will only get worse as time goes on. I think she probably knows she needs to break up with him but needs encouragement, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i7nvd Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 I think IcePrincess worded it best when she said that it will only get worse. If she's uncomfortable with it now, it's NOT going to get any easier. Pray for her strength to say no and to break it off with him ASAP. Tell her that, for her safety's sake, she needs to leave him be. Her personal safety is FAR more important than her reputation, or her minor crush on this guy. Definitely, don't word it like I just did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Well, I have to admit, I have a little bit of personal experience on this front. My first boyfriend was kind of a schmuck. All he ever wanted to do was make out. Once he even tried to put his hand down the back of my pants--I told him to stop and he did. After awhile (longer than I'd like to admit) I realized that I needed to cut it off, he wasn't doing me any good. So I did. I can understand where this girl is, she thinks she loves this guy or something (and he might even have some thoughts that what he feels is "love") but when you get to the nitty gritty, its not love and its not a good situation for her to be in. I think if any of my friends had told me they thought the guy I dated was a loser I wouldn't have been able to believe them, I had to realize it on my own. From what Curtins said it sounds like this girl is already realizing that the guy she's with isn't good for her. If she's voicing this concern then she needs encouragement and support, along Curtins' honest opinion and advice. (I wasn't a big advice-asker, I dealt with my situation totally on my own and told my friends about the breakup after I did it, but if I were like this girl I would want to hear the kind of advice thats been given in this thread.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 i agree... she needs to get away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtins Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 1st- thanks for all the responses and prayers yall- God bless all of you 2nd- me and shadow think that she knows deep down that the guy is bad news but she doesnt wanna admit it to herself cuz shes finnaly gotta bf and its high school and all that. she says shes uncertain and things have been goin too fast im gonna call her tomorow taking it slow and careful- but like iceprincess sed- telling her that i have real concern for her an such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Just because she is in high school does not mean that she needs a boyfriend. In fact, it's one of the most trying times of your life, why would you WANT one then?! I mean of course it's almost natural to desire one since "everyone else has one" but they are truly unnecessary for daily survival even in the social scheme of things!! i wish i had figured this out a few years before i had.... or rather, had it pointed out to me!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtins Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 [quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Oct 8 2004, 09:39 PM'] Just because she is in high school does not mean that she needs a boyfriend. In fact, it's one of the most trying times of your life, why would you WANT one then?! I mean of course it's almost natural to desire one since "everyone else has one" but they are truly unnecessary for daily survival even in the social scheme of things!! [/quote] thats what i say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voiciblanche Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 This sounds dangerous. A lot of serious injuries and even murders have happened because of relationships like this. Even though it's true that you could push her away by being too blunt... this could be a very dangerous situation... I don't think I know what you should say, because being too easy about it could give him enough time to really hurt her, but being too blunt could turn her away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 me and curtins are gonna call today. wish us some luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 You have my prayers. Speaking now in my faculties as a rape counselor, she needs to dump him right away, preferably with plenty of people around, and tell a school counselor about his behavior. This is not acceptable and it is a [b]huge[/b] clue that he might be capable of sexual assault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel's angel Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 over here people behaving like that is NORMAL, im seen to be different because i dont do stuff like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtins Posted October 10, 2004 Author Share Posted October 10, 2004 this situation reminds me of a book i read called speak- in it a freshman goes to a party and meets this junior and she thinks hes like super awsome and amazingly cool- and he rapes her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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